How do I explain that condoms are wrong?

[DrewC]

I know many Catholics dont agree with the Churchs stance on birth control, but how do I explain to someone that is in the Catholic Church that condoms are wrong? He argues that the Churchs teaching on NFP is very falliable and that it doesnt gurantee that you wont have children. He says he cannot afford to support any more children and I dont know how to get through to him that condoms and any form of birth control is a very grave sin. And I dont have any scripture to back it up, my priest told me of someone in the Old Testament being struck dead for “pulling out” before ejaculation but I dont know where it is at. I fear for these peoples soul and want to get through to them. Please help me! Thanks and God bless you. Drew.

 

[Golden_Ratio]

You might to try pureloveclub.com for some good advice.

 

[1ke]

He argues that the Churchs teaching on NFP is very falliable and that it doesnt gurantee that you wont have children. He says he cannot afford to support any more children

Drew,

People who use this line of reasoning aren’t interested in what the Church teaches at a moral level. He is arguing from an “effectiveness” angle, which has nothing to do with the Church’s teaching. Even at his leve, though, he is wrong because the bottom line is this:

Condoms are fallible and don’t guarantee that you won’t have children.

From a sheer *effectiveness *standpoint, NFP is far superior-- 99% to 85%.

Morally, contraception is *always *wrong, so it doesn’t matter if NFP is effective, ineffective, or non-existent. NFP is an alternative to complete continence, not to contraception. The only moral means of postponing children when the woman is not naturally infertile (breastfeeding for example) is abstinence-- whether periodic or total.

Here’s something that I’ve posted before on this topic. I hope you find it helpful.

---

NFP and contraception are both methods of birth control. Birth control is just the spacing & planning of children.

The Church does not teach birth control is immoral. The Church teaches that contraception is an immoral means of birth control. Big difference.

Why?

Each marriage act (act of sexual intercourse) must be unaltered before, during, or after the act. No action may taken to alter the act because each act must be objectively unitive and procreative in order to be authentic and properly ordered as God designed.

Subjectively that particular act may or may not be procreative. For example, if someone is naturally infertile due to time of the month, post-menopause, already pregnant, etc, then an unaltered act of intercourse is objectively procreative but subjectively does not result in conception.

How does NFP meet this criteria? In NFP each marital act is objectively unitive and procreative. If you have reason to avoid pregnancy you do not engage in the act. That respects the objective elements that must be present in every act.

How does contraception fail to meet this criteria? When contracepting a couple engages in the marital act while simultaneously altering the act to nullify it’s procreative element-- either before, during, or after the act. Before-- sterilization, Pill, sponge, diaphram, condom, IUD. During-- withdrawal, masterbatory acts that don’t culminate in intercourse. After- morning after pill, abortion. All of these things alter the act either in anticipation of, during, or after.

NFP says: Don’t want to become pregnant at that time? Abstain and respect the act as God created it because we and the act serve God. Engage in the act when the woman is naturally infertile and never alter the act.

Contraception says: Don’t want to become pregnant? Have sex and mutilate the act because the act serves us.

NFP is not an alterative to contraception, it’s an alternative to complete abstinence.

For more, go to www.omsoul.com and pick up some of their resources, especially the Contraception Why Not CD by Janet Smith.

 

[latinmasslover]

I know many Catholics dont agree with the Churchs stance on birth control, but how do I explain to someone that is in the Catholic Church that condoms are wrong? He argues that the Churchs teaching on NFP is very falliable and that it doesnt gurantee that you wont have children. He says he cannot afford to support any more children and I dont know how to get through to him that condoms and any form of birth control is a very grave sin. And I dont have any scripture to back it up, my priest told me of someone in the Old Testament being struck dead for “pulling out” before ejaculation but I dont know where it is at. I fear for these peoples soul and want to get through to them. Please help me! Thanks and God bless you. Drew.

Genesis 38:9-10. If he tries to argue saying that Onan was punished because he didn’t want to raise children to his brother’s name, point out Deuteronomy 25:7-12. Punishment for *not raising children to your brother *is public humiliation, not death. An verses 11.12: the woman’s hand is to be cut off if she injures a man’s specific area *(thus possibly sterilizing him.) *God obviously takes this seriously, as the consequences are not light. Hope this helps.

 

[buffalo]

Condoms have holes.

 

[brown_bear]

Hi DrewC!
I have very little to add to 1ke’s and latinmasslover’s remarks.
If some of your friends is sincere looking for a reference in Church teachings, you could recommend “Humanae vitae” (Paul VI, 1968): a short but amazingly plain and bright document.
Being my wife’s aide in an Italian equivalent of your engaged encounters, I can strengthen 1ke’s remark about NFP effectiveness: NFP are absolutely comparable to the most effective methods and better than a lot of common methods, such as condoms. They are not complicated to apply, as a large research with a group of Indian plain women showed.
Clearly, producing no business, it is not publicized: worse, is slandered.
We must spread these truths, especially among our priests: their good faith is beyond dispute, only they need good and true data.
All the best
Aurelio

 

[briang72]

I know many Catholics dont agree with the Churchs stance on birth control, but how do I explain to someone that is in the Catholic Church that condoms are wrong? He argues that the Churchs teaching on NFP is very falliable and that it doesnt gurantee that you wont have children. He says he cannot afford to support any more children and I dont know how to get through to him that condoms and any form of birth control is a very grave sin. And I dont have any scripture to back it up, my priest told me of someone in the Old Testament being struck dead for “pulling out” before ejaculation but I dont know where it is at. I fear for these peoples soul and want to get through to them. Please help me! Thanks and God bless you. Drew.

It upsets me to read posts like this. I understand the desire to space children out so that the parental and financial burdens aren’t overwhelming. What I don’t understand is why people want the ***guarantee ***of no more children.

In the first chapter of Genesis, God instructs man to “be fruitful and multiply” and to “subdue the earth”. Nowhere does it say that we have a choice in this matter. Catholic marriage is unitive and procreative. Entering into a marriage is a promise to God to cooperate in the creation of new life. It is not something for us to decide upon.

The Church allows natural forms of birth control like NFP for appropriate reasons. Its intent is not to avoid children completely. Condoms are almost always used to avoid children completely, and still cannot offer that guarantee. What happens if the condom breaks? A question I really don’t want to hear the answer for sometimes.

The thought I always dwell on when I see this attitude towards children is this: What if my parents didn’t want to have any (more) children? What if they had rejected me? What if they chose financial security over my life?

It is a difficult thing to give up “control” in our lives. I want nothing more than to totally trust my life in God’s hands. If someone out there knows how to do this, please let me know your secret.

 

[Acts29]

I said this on my church’s blog in response to the questions “Is birth control every ok?” The same can be applied to condoms or anything that tries to prevent the completion of life.

[birth control is never ok. it interrupts the gift God gave to humanity, reproduction. When we use birth control we are refusing part of the gift of divine love because we stop the procreation. Sex is supposed to recreate the love between the Father (God, the Son (Jesus). The result of this love between the Father and the Son is the Holy Spirit. the HS is the manifestation of the love of God to his only Son. the closest way we humans can come to imitating this love is through sex. that is why we are to be total self gifts to our spouse. just as Christ was a total self gift to his Father.in this TOTAL self gift there has to be a completion of the gift which ends with a new life. without this new life we are not taking part in the fullness of God’s gift. God’s gift is meant to be taken all the way. we can not leave anything out because we don’t want it. this gift that we take is all or nothing. birth control prohibits the completion of life, therefore defiling the gift. this is why any form of birth control, condoms, or life preventing substance is against our belief. Simply because God’s gifts come with no strings attached. One should want the fullness of God’s gift. Preventing any part of the cycle is mocking the divine love as represented between the Father and the Son.]

Also, sex is supposed to be unitive and procreative. A condom prevents both.

 

[Teeliumtrozzle]

The part of the Bible you are looking for is Genesis 38:9-10-

‘’ 9 But Onan knew that the offspring would not be his; so whenever he lay with his brother’s wife, he spilled his semen on the ground to keep from producing offspring for his brother. 10 What he did was wicked in the LORD’s sight; so he put him to death also.’’

It should be obvious to everyone that contraception is wrong.Its depriving someone of the gift of live and interfeering with the natural order of things.If someone didnt use contraception, their child could grow up and be a saint or a genius or someone who changed the world.Its just plain selfish-How would they like it if their parents had used contraception instead of conceiving them???

 

[AnubistheJackal]

If a thing doesn’t offend your moral intuition it’s probably not wrong, regardless of what any given institution says.

 

[jrabs]

If a thing doesn’t offend your moral intuition it’s probably not wrong, regardless of what any given institution says.

That’s what we call relativism. One has to wonder about society’s moral compass when anything goes.

 

[AnubistheJackal]

Relativism is concurrently a very useful and dangerous moral tool. But, if we have to be taught be offended by such an innocuous action it makes me question how harmful it truly is.

 

[BeeSweet]

I know many Catholics dont agree with the Churchs stance on birth control, but how do I explain to someone that is in the Catholic Church that condoms are wrong? He argues that the Churchs teaching on NFP is very falliable and that it doesnt gurantee that you wont have children. He says he cannot afford to support any more children and I dont know how to get through to him that condoms and any form of birth control is a very grave sin. And I dont have any scripture to back it up, my priest told me of someone in the Old Testament being struck dead for “pulling out” before ejaculation but I dont know where it is at. I fear for these peoples soul and want to get through to them. Please help me! Thanks and God bless you. Drew.

Drew, read The Case Against Condoms by Alfonso Cardinal Lopez Trujillo and Dr. Brian Clowes You can purchase a copy from Human Life International, or check your local Catholic bookstore. It’s not a very long read, you should be able to get through it pretty quickly.

Condoms are simply a lie. They are not nearly as effective as they claim to be. My sister-in-law and one of her children are both the products of failed condoms. The effectivity rate they advertise is based on laboratory conditions, not real life circumstances. That includes proper storage, which is often compromised. If you go to your local pharmacy and look, you’ll probably find out of date product on the shelf. That sort of thing is not considered in the effectivity rating condom manufacturers advertise. The real effectivity rate of condoms in real life circumstances is closer to 70%. NFP is much more reliable.

Be sure that any discussion on the negative aspects of contraception includes reference to the positive aspects of NFP.

What happens when your friend’s condom fails? A contraceptive mentality would immediately embrace the thought of an abortion. Justifying contraception is the first step towards justifying abortion.

 

[Primitive]

I know many Catholics dont agree with the Churchs stance on birth control, but how do I explain to someone that is in the Catholic Church that condoms are wrong? He argues that the Churchs teaching on NFP is very falliable and that it doesnt gurantee that you wont have children. He says he cannot afford to support any more children and I dont know how to get through to him that condoms and any form of birth control is a very grave sin. And I dont have any scripture to back it up, my priest told me of someone in the Old Testament being struck dead for “pulling out” before ejaculation but I dont know where it is at. I fear for these peoples soul and want to get through to them. Please help me! Thanks and God bless you. Drew.

I was told a while back that there is also an instance in the Old Testament where birth control is condemned as apparently men were crushing their testicles. Amazing that they were so wrapped up in lust that they would do such a thing.
I can’t find where that problem was directly addressed, but there is mention of something that alludes to it here in Deuteronomy Ch 13:
drbo.org/cgi-bin/d?b=drb&bk=5&ch=23&l=1&f=s#x
Hope that helps???
If you are looking for answers in scripture, I have found that particular online bible very helpful since you can use the search feature:
www.drbo.org

 

[hasikelee]

I know many Catholics dont agree with the Churchs stance on birth control, but how do I explain to someone that is in the Catholic Church that condoms are wrong? He argues that the Churchs teaching on NFP is very falliable and that it doesnt gurantee that you wont have children. He says he cannot afford to support any more children and I dont know how to get through to him that condoms and any form of birth control is a very grave sin. And I dont have any scripture to back it up, my priest told me of someone in the Old Testament being struck dead for “pulling out” before ejaculation but I dont know where it is at. I fear for these peoples soul and want to get through to them. Please help me! Thanks and God bless you. Drew.

Since he brought up his argument as “NFP doesn’t work and [therefore] condoms work better than NFP” why not settle that and see what his next argument is?

Either a) he is seriously misinformed because condoms have horrible failure rates compared to other birth control or b) this is his tiny fake argument and he has a deeper reason you need to dig up.

Go about it in a medical way…show him stats from the center for disease control and point out scientific studies done.

 

[jrabs]

Relativism is concurrently a very useful and dangerous moral tool. But, if we have to be taught be offended by such an innocuous action it makes me question how harmful it truly is.

We must teach our children to be offended by the correct things.
If no one is teaching children the correct and moral way of the Catholic Faith, then we will all end up with the dangers of Relativism.

Not using condoms happen to be one of those moral teachings of the Catholic Church.

 

[Pious_Mat]

Priests need to start preaching this from the pulpit. It seems to me that many homilies nowadays are (forgive any related pun) sterile. If priests started spreading the word in every parish in every diocese in Christendom that this is a grave sin, then we would beginning raising a new generation of children that know this is wrong.