How do I forgive my mother for making me have an abortion?

[Puddin317]

I’m currently in Project Rachel counseling for having an abortion at age 16. Part of my process right now is trying to forgive my mother for coercing me to have it and for leaving me little choice at that age. She basically told me, gave me the money and car keys, and that was that. Other than this, my parents were wonderful parents in all aspects save this one time. How do I forgive her for it?

 

[Michelle_Arnold]

I am so sorry for the loss of your child and pray that your counseling will help you heal.

Since your mother was, according to your testimony, a fine mother in all other aspects, perhaps you might consider that she thought she was doing the right thing for you. We know that she wasn’t, but people often do horrendous things with the best of intentions. Very rarely does anyone coldly and maliciously calculate an evil deed. Usually, they choose to do evil because it is expeditious and/or convenient, or because it seems right, or because they think they have no other choice. Just as your mother gave you little choice, perhaps she felt she herself had little choice.

It might also help to involve yourself in some project that allows you to do for other women what you wish your mother had been able to do for you. You could start by donating money or time (if possible) and perhaps you might be led to do more. One particular charity that might meet your needs is Maggie’s Place, a Catholic pro-life apostolate that provides shelter and other means of support to pregnant homeless women.