D
Della
Guest
I do want to forgive. But, I don’t want them around. He abused me, she lied about me and literally shrugged her shoulders when I told her of one incident of his abuse. There’s much more to this, but I won’t get into it because I am shaking with anger now.QUOTE]
Forgiveness has nothing to do with how we feel. It is an act of the will. What helps us forgive is to realize how miserable and disgusted your ex (I assume he’s your ex) and his wife must be with themselves to treat others they way they have treated you and your children. They are not acting rationally, but are sick–no doubt due to many things, but in part by to giving into their worst instincts. Pity them. That is what they deserve. Your profound pity and your love in Christ, who alone can truly understand who and what they are and why they behave as they do.
I am sorry for your situation. I assume your children have to spend time with them. Just let them know that your love them completely, no matter what they may hear from your ex and his wife. Be as positive as you can without being untruthful about them.
And do talk to your priest about all this. You may think he doesn’t want to hear it, but let him know what you have told us–that you want to forgive and are having a hard time of it. You don’t have to go into all the gory details. Believe me, he’ll understand–he’s heard many others with the same problem. He’ll give you some good advice and a blessing (if you see him apart from confession). It is his “job” to make receiving God’s grace for these sorts of situations as easy for you as possible. And pray, pray, pray. Never give up believing that God loves you and understands how you feel and what you truly want. I will remember you in my prayers too, dear one.