How do I gain more self control?

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catholicgirl201

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Hi Everyone,
I confessed all the evil thoughts that I had seen on the internet but could not get out of my head. The priest told me that I need to gain more self control. I did not think to ask him how should I do this so I am asking you all how do I gain more self control and learn to not be bothered by people saying evil things about God and religion?

Thank you!
 
Self control is like a muscle. The more you exercise it, the stronger it becomes. Be aware of your behavior and thoughts, then consciously change them. Use reminders if you must … an inspirational bracelet on your wrist, notes plastered to your bathroom mirror, pop-up reminders on your cellphone - whatever works.
 
Try daily confession for several week with rosary much more regular in your life.
 
catholicgirl201 said:
Hi Everyone,
I confessed all the evil thoughts that I had seen on the internet but could not get out of my head. The priest told me that I need to gain more self control. I did not think to ask him how should I do this so I am asking you all how do I gain more self control and learn to not be bothered by people saying evil things about God and religion?

Thank you!
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I think you may need to be more explicit in your confessions.

I assumed at first - when you confessed to “evil thoughts” that you may be entertaining an internet porn addiction.
…how do I gain more self control and learn to not be bothered by people saying evil things about God and religion?
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You should be bothered by people who say evil things about God and religion.

What you need is an appropriate way to express your faith to people who say evil things about God and religion.
 
catholicgirl201 said:
Hi Everyone,
I confessed all the evil thoughts that I had seen on the internet but could not get out of my head. The priest told me that I need to gain more self control. I did not think to ask him how should I do this so I am asking you all how do I gain more self control and learn to not be bothered by people saying evil things about God and religion?

Thank you!
Click to expand...
First and foremost – PRAY FOR THE GRACE! Self-control is a fruit of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). Pray to the Father, Son, and Spirit for this fruit to grow in your life.

Other great suggestions here, but remember, we need Grace to transform.
 
Pray for grace, avoid those sites, and say a prayer in reparation for what the others have done.

Also, it’s not a sin if the thoughts merely run through your head, if that happens, treat them as distractions.

You might want to read a book on spiritual improvement such as Spiritual Combat, by Scupoli, which can be found online. CCEL has an audio copy but I don’t know if they charge for it or not.
 
Reading The Imitation of Christ by Thomas a Kempis really helped me gain mastery over my self.
 
Barbkw said:
You should be bothered by people who say evil things about God and religion.

What you need is an appropriate way to express your faith to people who say evil things about God and religion.
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I agree with this person. If you were constantly watching these kinds of videos that were “dissing” Christianity, and obsessing about it, I would say you should maybe cut them out of your life (stop watching them.) That would be about self control. But it is natural to be bothered by it. If this is stuff you cannot help but hear, like the radio playing in the background of a public place, you have no control over whether or not you are hearing it, and you have a right to be bothered by it. And you are right to state that to others.Whether or not they understand is not up to you, it is up to them, You can’t control what others think or feel, but you can only control your own behavior.
 
I confessed to a priest that I couldn’t get certain memories out of my head and he said to ask the Holy Spirit to take the image of those memories away.

Self-control comes through prayer, and fasting. Not just the big prayers, like all 20 decades of the Rosary every day, or all the prayers of the Liturgy of the Hours, or daily Mass (all these of course would help ;)) but rather, prayers for common things:
  • Wake up: Thank You, God for this coming day no matter what happens!
  • Get in the shower and the water is nice and warm: Thank You, God for giving me the privilege of comfort!
  • Get in the shower and it’s too cold: Thank You, God, for giving me the chance to remember only You are my Warmth!
  • Eat food, drink beverages: Grace before meals! (I am so bad at that…usually I have to say grace after meals :rolleyes:)
  • Lots of chores/homework/work assignments: Thank You, God for giving my hands so much to do for Your Glory!
  • etc., etc. It’s the little things that you should try to pray about often. A handful of 15 second-long prayers equally dispersed throughout your day will have your mind thinking about HIM more than one 10 minute long prayer at the end of the week.
Same for fasting; not eating for 40 days is great (as long as it’s safely done :eek: talk to priest and doctor if you ever think of doing that!!!), but the little “fastings” are great too:
  • 5 cookies on a plate? Pass the plate around to 4 other persons first, then have your 1 cookie
  • Just got back home from school/work/errands? One big bowl of cereal instead of 2 regular ones.
  • You have a nice packed lunch, complete with dessert? Share half of your dessert with a friend/family member.
  • etc., etc. Giving up one little part of the meal you intended to eat all of is a great way to -]start/-] live.
Self-control in humans is difficult to obtain alone; however, the more we think about God, the faster we can notice when we are thinking about something that would separate us from Jesus Christ! And that means the faster we will be able to pray to the Holy Spirit that He will come take away the images (in your case audio too :p) or feelings that are causing us trouble.
 
I agree with the poster who said self-control is like a muscle.

To that end, you can always start small if you find the bigger stuff to difficult at this point. For example, you might try getting up a half an hour earlier than you normally do. If you normally hit the snooze button a few times, then try getting up right away. If you enjoy listening to music in the car, then make a conscious decision not to. If you feel like you want that second cookie, stop yourself at one.

Of course, these are all just examples. It could be anything. Just keep practicing showing self-control in these smaller matters and you will find it becomes easier to practice in larger matters.

And, as everyone has mentioned, prayer is obviously key.
 
catholicgirl201 said:
Hi Everyone,
I confessed all the evil thoughts that I had seen on the internet but could not get out of my head. The priest told me that I need to gain more self control. I did not think to ask him how should I do this so I am asking you all how do I gain more self control and learn to not be bothered by people saying evil things about God and religion?

Thank you!
Click to expand...
Prayer!

It is the best way, it is the way it helped me.
 
catholicgirl201 said:
…how do I gain more self control and learn to not be bothered by people saying evil things about God and religion? Thank you!
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I’d suggest listening to “Catholic Answers Live” in the evening on the radio. Try to train your ear and your mind to how they respond to attacks about God and religion.

Also, if you get it, tune in to EWTN and listen to how priests respond to these types of attacks.

Personally, in apologetics I’m currently following Chesterton’s motto:
“If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing badly.”
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+JMJ+

Is there true joy in your life?

If there is none, then I am sorry, **NONE **of what I or all the others here post will ever help you.

“No man can live without joy. That is why one deprived of spiritual joy goes over to carnal pleasures.” St. Thomas Aquinas

Fasting, self-discipline, spiritual reading, prayers, novenas, devotions, etc…all of these are just exterior practices, they do NOT bring joy. Rather, they only PROTECT and NURTURE joy, as a fence and fertilizer around a rose bush…but if the rose bush is dead, what is the use of the fence or the manure? :confused:

You MUST find joy, for “the Joy of the Lord is your strength” (Nehemiah 8:10). It is with joy that you fight off temptation and sin.
 
QUOTE from Catholicgirl201,
“learn to not be bothered by people saying evil things about God and religion?”
UNQUOTE

I’m not sure if you are saying, “I lose control with them when this happens,” or
“I don’t like it when they say unbecoming things about God.”

The latter is ok.

The former, gain control by prayer which brings grace which enlightens the mind and strengthens the will. A form of prayer is penance which denies our freedom in some way for the love of God. And this gets us into the practise of saying “no” to ourselves, and then that practise flows over into saying “no” in moments of temptation.

Go over your day at bedtime, to pick out one thing that could have been done
better that day, or one thing that needs to be corrected. Then resolve how you will handle this situation the next time it arises.

Just something to think about.
 
catholicgirl201 said:
Hi Everyone,
I confessed all the evil thoughts that I had seen on the internet but could not get out of my head. The priest told me that I need to gain more self control. I did not think to ask him how should I do this so I am asking you all how do I gain more self control and learn to not be bothered by people saying evil things about God and religion?

Thank you!
Click to expand...
if you dont think theres truth in what they say, then it shouldnt bother you.
 
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