How do I get my family to mass every week

[Adamski]

I go to mass every week, follow all the church teachings, read the bible and pray daily, my wife and I had our marriage reconized in the church when I came back recently after 18 years away

But it is very hard to get my wife and kids to church every week.
She goes about once a month and my kids go 1-2 times a month she would be happy if no one went at and we went to a baptist church where she goes about once a month and my kids go once a month. The baptist church is not anti- catholic at all and they even advertise the local catholic church on thier web site as another viable Christian church if thier church doesn’t work for you

On a side note we left our church of 7 years we went to together about 3 years ago and one reason is they started teaching anti catholism from the pulpit.

How do I get my family to go to mass

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[EasterJoy]

That is tough, because they don’t acknowledge any difference between the Mass and a “service”.

 

[JackieMom]

Are the children minors? When you and your wife validated your marriage, she agreed not to stop you from raising your children Catholic. So, while you cannot make your wife attend Mass, you can make the children. Your wife should not do anything to undermine this. Simply tell them that they will be going with you, and go. Every week. If they have not had the proper sacraments, speak to your pariah priest about rectifying that. After Mass, if their complaining and behavior has not been too bad, take them out for a pizza lunch, ice cream, etc. Make the day special and give them a reward for respectful behavior.

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

You’ve made a sudden change in your life after 18 years away. The same change hasn’t occurred in your wife and children’s lives so that makes things hard.

I wonder if it might attract your children – and maybe your wife as well – if going to Mass also meant going out for breakfast/brunch after Mass? Make a whole morning of it. I don’t know how old your children are, but even if they’re not that attracted to going to Mass, perhaps they would be attracted to pancakes afterward. Having them at Mass regularly would give them the opportunity to get more involved in what is going on.

Have your children received their First Communons? Are they in religious education classes?

 

[RedFox0456]

First and foremost - I love to hear about people coming back to their faith! That part has warmed my heart. I can empathize with your situation, and wish I had a good solution for both you and me.

My wife was raised Presbyterian, and attended regularly. Unfortunately, her faith was shaken when her pastor had an affair and her youth minister was forced out of the church. When we were considering marriage, she had planned on doing RCIA, but has since abandoned that path. I am now trying to live my faith so she might regain an interest in hers, but so far I have been unsuccessful.

 

[Lancer]

First, realize that you are in “sales”…not “management” as Father Mitch Pacwa S.J. often says. In other words…live your faith fully with energy and a heart of peaceful certitude that God has your wife and children in His heart…He is not letting her or them “get away”…so don’t worry…but the timing and sequence is all to be left to his Divine/Permissible Will for them.

What he (The Holy Spirit) needs you to be is…his “silent” partner so to speak…he will do the speaking and inspire their conversion actions with his graces…your actions should be:… faithfully practicing you Catholic Faith (+take some active role in the Church…Usher, reader, member of Men;s Group, etc,) and intercessory prayers and sacrificial penances (small and varied, but consistent sacrifices for this intention)…all for their conversion. The Daily Rosary to the Holy Spirit’s “spirit-spouse”…the Blessed Virgin Mary…is a powerful reality for your prayer life.

“You shall obtain all you ask of me by the recitation of the Rosary.”
Our Lady to Blessed Alan de la Roche

“The Most Holy Virgin in these last times in which we live has given** a new efficacy to the recitation of the Rosary to such an extent that there is no problem, no matter how difficult it is, whether temporal or above all spiritual, in the personal life of each one of us, of our families…that cannot be solved by the Rosary**. There is no problem, I tell you, no matter how difficult it is, that we cannot resolve by the prayer of the Holy Rosary.”

Sister Lucia dos Santos, Fatima seer
tfpstudentaction.org/get-involved/campus-rosary-crusade/quotes-of-our-lady-popes-and-saints.html

Second, my only “physical action” suggestion is for you to try to get your wife to agree that the children should be in Church every week…Sunday…either hers or yours…you are both answerable to God for that…they (children) don’t get to decide on Sunday Mass or church services…or shouldn’t in my opinion. This to me is an immediate and necessary agreement you and your wife must reach…and anything in the family life that is prayerful…blessings at meals…Father’s blessings on his children…Scripture reading…Morning/Evening prayers…would help to make their faith alive and even more meaningful…let them take ownership to some degree for their spiritual life…relationship with Our Lord Jesus.

Lastly, here is a wonderful “saint in the process of beatification” to intercede for you.

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_VQTwzalrjQA/S_gOLnGGrdI/AAAAAAAABUs/udhIIpS0Skw/s400/elisabeth+laseur.php

Elisabeth Leseur was a Frenchwoman who lived from 1866-1914. She was** a devout Catholic who was married to an atheist.** Her husband and his atheistic friends would tease and criticize Elisabeth for her faith. She decided that she would not antagonize them, but rather, kept her faith inside and released it into a journal. She offered up all of the sufferings that she endured, both from the torment of her husband with whom she was deeply in love, and from her many physical sufferings that resulted in her death from breast cancer, in a pact with God. The gist of the pact was that her sufferings would bring about a change in her husband so that he would return to Catholicism and become a priest upon her death. Her husband,** Felix, read her diary after she died, and he did indeed, convert and become a priest. **Elisabeth Leseur’s cause for canonization continues to be investigated today.

Elisabeth Leseur Quotes from My Spirit Rejoices

“My present trial seems to me a somewhat painful one, and I have the humiliation of knowing how badly I bore it at first. I now want to accept and to carry this little cross joyfully, to carry it silently, with a smile in my heart and on my lips, in union with the Cross of Christ. My God, blessed be Thou; accept from me each day the embarrassment, inconvenience, and pain this misery causes me. May it become a prayer and an act of reparation."

“Silence is sometimes an act of energy, and smiling, too.”

For your consideration.
Pax Christi

 

[Adamski]

It has been a long road, considering 3 years ago my wife thought Catholics weren’t Christian and honestly I didn’t know any under 70 who acted like one.

She now goes to mass, stopped believing in once saved always saved, and thinks Catholics are some of the best Christians. So I just am praying that she takes the next step.

It has been really hard. And what convinced me to come back to the catholic church was I took the entire new treatment with a baptist, Lutheran, Methodist, and Catholic bible study verse by verse and the Catholic church was the only one that answered every line and didn’t skip over any like the Protestant churches

 

[Anglewannabe]

Personally, I don’t think church attendance should be rewarded. Especially not for your wife who is a grown adult. Sounds kind of patronizing to me. And, if your kids are small, a reward for good behaviour in church is OK, but not for simply going Mass is an obligation and should not be seen as something to get a material prize out of.

Now, as for getting the family to mass. That is a real hard one because you have really changed the dynamics of your marriage and your wife did not see that coming. The best is to be a shining example

Angie

 

[Mrs_Sally]

I go to mass every week, follow all the church teachings, read the bible and pray daily, my wife and I had our marriage reconized in the church when I came back recently after 18 years away

Welcome back home! Is your wife also Catholic even though she isn’t practicing?

But it is very hard to get my wife and kids to church every week.

Were you going to church anywhere while you were away from the faith? If not, your family dynamic is going to need time to adjust.

She goes about once a month and my kids go 1-2 times a month she would be happy if no one went at and we went to a baptist church where she goes about once a month and my kids go once a month. The baptist church is not anti- catholic at all and they even advertise the local catholic church on thier web site as another viable Christian church if thier church doesn’t work for you.

On a side note we left our church of 7 years we went to together about 3 years ago and one reason is they started teaching anti catholism from the pulpit.

OK, so for 8 years you didn’t go the church at all, then you begain going to a non-denominational church for 7 years, then nothing again until you return to the Catholic Church? Is that right?

How do I get my family to go to mass

​

How old are your children? Have they been baptised? Should they be in sacramental prep classes?

You have a responsibility to raise your children in the Catholic faith. That means they go to Mass every week and receive the sacraments at the appropriate times. You can ask your wife to accompany you, but you cannot compel her.

I recommend that you look at the Mass schedule for your parish and your family schedule and figure out which Mass time will be the easiest for you to manage getting the children to Mass on your own.

It may be the Saturday evening Mass when everyone is already up and dresssed. It may work better to go first thing Sunday morning before all the distractions start (friends, sports, TV, etc.)

I don’t think bribes are a good idea, but there is nothing wrong with making Mass the highlight of good family time - a carry-out dinner after Saturday Mass, pancake breakfast on Sunday morning, or whatever helps make the time a nice family event instead of a struggle.

Since your wife isn’t super involved in the Baptist church you won’t necessarily have to worry about coordinating two Sunday commitments each week, but don’t be suprised if she wants to sign the kids up for summer Bible schools or other programs. Many Catholic parishes have summer children’s programs also. Ask about that when you look into CCD/RE classes.

Finally, I strongly recommend that you attend your territorial parish. Your children will be more likely to know other children there and see their friends from school. That will make things easier for you in getting them to church and CCD. Also, as you become friendly with those families, you can draw your wife into the social aspects of parish life which may encourage her conversion also.

 

[EasterJoy]

Personally, I don’t think church attendance should be rewarded. Especially not for your wife who is a grown adult. Sounds kind of patronizing to me. And, if your kids are small, a reward for good behaviour in church is OK, but not for simply going Mass is an obligation and should not be seen as something to get a material prize out of.

Now, as for getting the family to mass. That is a real hard one because you have really changed the dynamics of your marriage and your wife did not see that coming. The best is to be a shining example

Angie

It is not out of place to make Mass part of an enjoyable family ritual that includes a festive meal or some other special time together, that kind of thing. That is the normal way that Mass is “rewarded” in pious families, I think. (It is meant to be sustenance and not a penance, after all!)