How do I get my mind off of this?

[YehoiakhinEx232]

I’m having a real hard time right now, I was praying the stations of the Cross and I couldn’t focus, I just couldn’t get my mind off of this, it kept coming back. Until November, I was hanging around this online forum and had made some good friends then one day, my “fellow Catholics” were discussing a certain Catholic dogma, (which I am quite reluctant to mention here) and were treating it with great contempt and irreverence and I felt very deeply betrayed by them. I was really angry and I ended up leaving, my plan was that I would return in August and go on the Traditional Catholic sub-forum and hang-out there from than on, and maybe some time in the future, return armed with an undeniable case for the said doctrine above.

Then just recently, I discovered that the Traditional Catholic sub-forum has been shut down, and at the same time, someone posted a thread asking about the said dogma on the main Catholic sub-forum, and I just imagined them leading that soul astray. I’m struggling to get my mind off this whole thing, and I just can’t stop thinking about how these people betrayed me, how they didn’t care about my soul or the souls of others. The problem is, when I left, I didn’t leave quietly, I told them off before leaving and I was really angry about it, now I realize that, that was a huge mistake as it probably led them to believe that I was just having an angry outburst and it was not something they should be concerned with. I want to let them know that I wasn’t just having an angry outburst, I want them to know that they did wrong and that they are wrong about rejecting that dogma, I don’t want revenge, (which is why I’m posting this) and I have been praying for them, but I want them to know, even if they don’t accept anything that I’m saying.

Now I have a problem, no matter what I do now, I’ll either be tempted to do it out of vengeance or else, worry that I’m doing it out of vengeance. Even me taking this break is done out of spite, you see, originally I was planning to break just for Advent, and then someone approached me after my outburst and told me I should stay away for either 6 or 8 months, I forget which, and then I, in spite told her I would be away for 9 months instead. If I go back on that site, and hang around elsewhere, I’ll be concerned that either they’ll see me and think that I’m being spiteful over the whole thing and think I’m giving them the silent treatment or else, I’ll be tempted to hope that they see me hanging around somewhere else and feel bad I’m not with them. If I do go back onto that sub-forum, I need to again, let them know that they’re wrong, that I wasn’t just having a bad temper but that they did something wrong and that I do not approve of it, even if they refuse to change, but if I do that, I need to do it right way, without the anger I have right now.

What should I do? How do I get out of this?

 

[drac16]

Honestly, I think time is your best weapon in this situation. People tend to stop caring about petty squabbles over time. Make sure that you’re asking the Lord, every day, to make you into an instrument to deliver the truth to that forum, yet to do so in a way that’s sober minded. I personally think you need to take more time off and let your anger dissipate (by itself). When the mind is full of anger, you end up going overboard much more often.

You can’t allow anger to ruin what these people need to hear from you. Your heart may be in the right place, but you would only do a disservice if you lashed out at these people again. If you did that, they’re less likely to listen to you about that catholic dogma you brought up.

 

[FrancisPio]

Wow, that’s one long post. I wish you had summarized it a bit. Also, I have yet to understand at all what dogma you were angry about and what caused the dispute. As a result it’s hard to help you…
What I do get is that you were having trouble with an internet forum? If so, I recommend meeting people in the real world, doing other Catholic activities. We all post here and I love the conversations but there is so much more we all can do to live our faith.

 

[PJH_74]

What should I do? How do I get out of this?

Having responded to your other post and seeing this one, you seem to be a pretty black and white person and this seems to be causing you pain and guilt. I don’t know what this dogma is, but some aren’t as important to faith. Certainly attacking someone out of hurt and anger will not let you make a persuasive argument.

You are not directly responsible for their salvation, only your own. The best you can do is speak up in a way that invites conversation. They have free will to not agree with you, but it is not a representation of your own self worth. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, know that who you are doesn’t depend on anyone else, everything moves forward, and our pasts only define us as long as we want them to.

 

[guanophore]

I felt very deeply betrayed by them.

It seems that a good first step is to forgive them, and pray for them.

I’m struggling to get my mind off the whole thing, and I just can’t stop thinking about how these people betrayed me, how they didn’t care about my soul or the souls of others.

It seems that you wanted something from these people you did not get, so are disappointed in them. You had unrealistic expectations. It is likely the Holy Spirit is not letting this get off your mind because you need to forgive, pray for them, and adjust your expectations so they are more realistic.

The problem is, when I left, I didn’t leave quietly, I told them off before leaving and I was really angry about,

if it is possible for you to apologize and make amends, now would be a good time.

I want them to know that they did wrong and that they are wrong about rejecting that dogma

Then you are still expecting others to change in order to meet your standards and expectations, rather than you accepting them just as they are.

 

[Reuben_J]

It is just a forum, dude. Chill.

God bless you.

 

[YehoiakhinEx232]

I lived in a horrible state of sin and was drowning in this world of untruth and meaninglessness before my reversion to the True Faith. So I cling to this black and white view very tightly because I desperately want that freedom of living in the truth, and I don’t ever want to go back to that state before my reversion.

The world is such a bad place right now, and I just want to be a Saint and do something to stop all this evil. I know it’s all in God’s hands and the little things are enough, but I just can’t shake the guilt I feel over my mistakes and failures and things I didn’t do.

 

[GratefulFred]

We are called to speak the Truth in the Spirit of Love.

Keep in mind that there were important people who heard Jesus speak and rejected Him and His teachings.

Keep in mind Jesus’ commission to His Apostles in Matthew Chapter 10: 12 As you enter a house, wish it peace. 13 If the house is worthy, let your peace come upon it; if not, let your peace return to you. 14 Whoever will not receive you or listen to your words—go outside that house or town and shake the dust from your feet. 15 Amen, I say to you, it will be more tolerable for the land of Sodom and Gomorrah on the day of judgment than for that town.

We can and should put our thoughts on the table for others to consider. If we are rejected, we can still pray that some day, in some way, they will come to see and accept the Truth.

 

[PJH_74]

I lived in a horrible state of sin and was drowning in this world of untruth and meaninglessness before my reversion to the True Faith. So I cling this black and white view very tightly because I desperately want that freedom of living in the truth and I don’t ever want to go back to that state before my reversion.

I can more than support you finding meaning in your faith, but there is more beyond that. Legalism can kill you emotionally and/or your faith. You’ve got to find a way to center yourself on your faith and live life through it.

The world is such a bad place right now, and I just want to be a Saint and do something to stop all this evil. I know it’s all in God’s hands and the little things are enough, but I just can’t shake the guilt I feel over my mistakes and failures and things I didn’t do.

Turn off cable news or whatever (these people make a profit on fear and drama) The world has always had its evil but there is always good and I happen to believe the good is much better than the evil. The worst things people have ever done is to act as a group out of fear or disdain for something. The Holocaust did not happen because some goose stepping freaks made it happen, it’s all the people that turned their eyes away. They let it happen because they let fear put their hopes with a disgusting man and his regime.

The point is that evil is not one or a few guys blowing something up, these are horrible events but those perpetrating them know a few violent acts will give them such an emotional response. That emotional response often leads demonization of a group and disproportionate responses continuing the cycle.

 

[Mary888]

When you care too much about what people say and people don’t seem to care about your case at all take it as a sign from that this is the world. We are not redeemed through each other but by Him.
If you truly want to shock them, my guess - burn your pride and burn them with love and honesty. Tell them that you care about them, you respect them and it hurts you that they do not see things the same way. Tell them maybe again why that dogma helped you so much and then if nothing happens forgive them and pray for their happiness.
It really looks like you are suffering here from disappointment in these people not betrayal. It is the Church who they betray not you because it is not your dogma. But I feel you, it hurts they would not think twice for your sake when they ask you to do the same in return and be convinced of their ideas.
It is Lent we must forgive and let the world go if we see the world is between God and us.
God bless you.