How do I get rid of animonsity towards those who are more fortunate?

[milde]

I am truly in a funk, because hard work is supposed to pay off - and I finished my degree but I have not gotten any kind of “pay off” yet.

Now that’s funny. You absolutely will NOT find people giving you money because you finished a degree somewhere. All you’ve done is make it to the starting line. A degree is not a “pay off”. Consider whether or not you are being realistic about your expectations.

There are plenty of 20-something who show up after graduation asking for their “pay off” now that they are out of school. It sure doesn’t work that you. You have to provide value to others before you can begin to make money. Your degree was all about value for yourself.

 

[hasikelee]

Now that’s funny. You absolutely will NOT find people giving you money because you finished a degree somewhere. All you’ve done is make it to the starting line. A degree is not a “pay off”. Consider whether or not you are being realistic about your expectations.

There are plenty of 20-something who show up after graduation asking for their “pay off” now that they are out of school. It sure doesn’t work that you. You have to provide value to others before you can begin to make money. Your degree was all about value for yourself.

I totally agree…and OP, be careful about how loudly you toot that degree horn. Unless it’s a specific degree for your desired job oppurtunity, it might be hurting you. Especially if you don’t have a foundation of job experience and skills.

I’ve found in my hiring experience that the new graduate applications are the ones I want to toss into the bin. Naive, in serious debt, big attitudes, unable to apply knowledge, no wisdom, etc. Try to show in your resume that you are balanced and have a degree to supplement, rather than a degree with parttime work stuffed around it.

 

[milde]

I’ve found in my hiring experience that the new graduate applications are the ones I want to toss into the bin. Naive, in serious debt, big attitudes, unable to apply knowledge, no wisdom, etc. Try to show in your resume that you are balanced and have a degree to supplement, rather than a degree with parttime work stuffed around it.

Amen! And be interested and enthusiastic about what you can do to help a potential employer accomplish their goals, not yours. Your goals will be accomplished by becoming employed in a job that fits your career desires. Your goals are not fulfilled by something an employer does specifically for you.

 

[homewardangel]

Oh my gosh!!!:doh2:

I totally agree…and OP, be careful about how loudly you toot that degree horn.

When there were replies to the OP what was said over and over again was “I went to school” and “I went to school”, but now these replies are downplaying the importance of a degree to the OP. This sounds like a little bit of a double standard going on. Its good for everyone else to carry on about their degree and how they worked hard - but only those select few???

Try to show in your resume that you are balanced and have a degree to supplement, rather than a degree with parttime work stuffed around it.

For the record…I have more than 20 years of full time work experience. Since I have been out of high school I have always worked 40 hours a week - I have never worked part time. That includes the years that I was going to school at night when I was a single parent taking care of my kids by myself.

You can’t pray for money. Maybe you can, but I think that would be incorrect. The hard work I refer to does not involve going to church or confession. Keep in mind it also takes more than hard work. There are many “victims” who insist they work hard but can’t get ahead in life. You absolutely must combine hard work with wise choices.

Did you completely miss the point that I made about working and going school and caring for my home and family??? Try reading the entire post, not just the parts that you feel would be fun to preach to someone about. Honestly, I only put in the part about going to church and praying because any time that problems arise in life so many people say the answer is to pray, go to the sacraments - so I wanted to say up front that I am doing those spiritual things…and I am also working very hard. I would venture to say that I have worked harder than most people out there…thanks for making me feel like a whiney worthless whimp This thread has been like talking to horrible people. This is by far the worst thread that I have had on this forum - hasikelee and milde I hope you guys feel very proud of yourselves and very safe in your spot in life…because you have been able to make me feel very bad about myself.

There are many “victims” who insist they work hard but can’t get ahead in life. You absolutely must combine hard work with wise choices.

Are you calling me one of those “victims”? Thank you for your wonderful words of support. I can not believe that when I open up and try to show some empathy and understanding to the OP I get a lecture on combining hard work with wise choices…
Terry

 

[milde]

Its good for everyone else to carry on about their degree and how they worked hard - but only those select few???

Carrying on is just fine. Expecting “the payoff” is certainly not. It has nothing to do with being a select few. No clue where you got that one from.

 

[Califman831]

Have you read imitation of Christ?

leaderu.com/cyber/books/imitation/imitation.html

 

[hasikelee]

Oh my gosh!!!:doh2:

When there were replies to the OP what was said over and over again was “I went to school” and “I went to school”, but now these replies are downplaying the importance of a degree to the OP. This sounds like a little bit of a double standard going on. Its good for everyone else to carry on about their degree and how they worked hard - but only those select few???

For the record…I have more than 20 years of full time work experience. Since I have been out of high school I have always worked 40 hours a week - I have never worked part time. That includes the years that I was going to school at night when I was a single parent taking care of my kids by myself.

Terry

Terry, my chosen professions require degrees and I am pursuing several, including biolody and psychology for medicine and political science and public administration for law, respectively. I don’t think I tout them as much I recognize I must get them for my goals in life.

Other than a profession that requires a degree, I still haven’t found a real benefit from four years of institutionalized learning. Perhaps all the schools I’ve visited and the few I’ve taken classes at are simply mediocre. I’ve experienced classes at top tier down to community college schools, however, and all of them stunk to high heaven. At least the CC was cheap, so it seemed worth the money.

I’m not sure about other fields because my experience doesn’t go that far, but in business, marketing and retail, I see degrees hinder more often than they help, and someone who has just graduated with little or no work experience gets an instant “no” from me.

Also, with all due respect, except for perhaps accounting and financing degrees, there is nothing in secondary school that teaches wisdom, common sense, how to manage income, how to balance a check book, how to use credit cards/loans/debt properly, how to interact positively with peers, coworkers and superiors and essentially how to live a successful and fulfilling life. School is about dodging psycho teachers, stuffing your head full of knowledge that you should have learned in highschool and trying to manuever around all the other people in the same place as you, trying to get that “grade.”

Now, I must say I agree with you on one thing. I am sensing a bit of the just world tendency on this thread. I think we should all remember that bad things do happen to good people. Remember that the last centuries had their eras of very rich people holding to the theory that if you just tried hard enough, you would be successful and if you weren’t successful, you were somehow lazy or not working. That is not the case for everyone.

 

[zografou]

Know that you are more fortunate than many!

Do you have a home? Think of the milions who are homeless!
Do you have a job and an income? Think of the millions who are unemployed and peniless!
Do you have food to ear? Think of the millions who are starving!
Do you think yourself less fortunate? Think of those whose lives are filled with suffering and misery far exceeding your worst day!

Be thankful for all you have and all you have not!

Peace be unto you!

 

[milde]

I hope you guys feel very proud of yourselves and very safe in your spot in life…because you have been able to make me feel very bad about myself.

Are you calling me one of those “victims”? Thank you for your wonderful words of support. I can not believe that when I open up and try to show some empathy and understanding to the OP I get a lecture on combining hard work with wise choices…
Terry

Terry, I’m obviously not trying to make you feel bad about yourself or express that I feel safe in life. Not at all. What I am telling you is accurate and truthful. You should accept the opportunities you have in life and go after them enthusiastically. Complaining that no one is giving a “payoff” for your degree is simply a waste of time. No one ever will. You don’t trade a college degree in for a paycheck.

Your hard work and diligence does not appear to be the problem. I’m simply trying to point you in the correct direction in regards to your expectations. You have every right to ignore my advice if you feel it is not valuable. That’s quite alright.

 

[homewardangel]

Again thank you, because I did not feel enough like **** today. I truly appreciate you going the extra mile to let me know how smart you are and how wrong I am.

Terry, I’m obviously not trying to make you feel bad about yourself or express that I feel safe in life. Not at all. What I am telling you is accurate and truthful. You should accept the opportunities you have in life and go after them enthusiastically. Complaining that no one is giving a “payoff” for your degree is simply a waste of time. No one ever will. You don’t trade a college degree in for a paycheck.

I never meant that you were actually aware that you were making me feel bad or that the driving force behind your comments were to keep yourself feeling safe - that is the irony of my statement. You don’t have a clue. You are unaware of the hurt your comments cause - as you are unaware of the fact that you take comfort in telling yourself that the unwise choices of others are what causes our pain - because in your mindset you have no fear that you could ever be in our situation because you know better - and we obviously are doing things wrong otherwise we wouldn’t be struggling.

For the record, when I said pay off that meant more than just money. Pay off in life can mean many different things - a good working environment, friends, security- conversation with a sensitive caring intelligent person. What a blessing that would be!

As it so happens, I was required by my boss to go back to school - and he has since passed away from cancer. But I guess my degree is its own reward…but that does not feed my kids.

I did not choose to go back to school and I was not complaining. I was trying to show empathy to the OP who seemed to be struggling I wanted to let them know that they are not alone. I hate people like you. You make my life miserable and make me feel inadequate. Then if I express that I don’t appreciate your attitudes or comments you just brush it off as I am the bad person because people like you are always perfect and do no wrong. I would be willing to bet that you don’t know half of what I have been through. I would never express my full concerns or fears to you because of the simple fact that I don’t want to complain - because complaining is seen as a weakness to many people.

This just makes me ask God even more - Why? Why doesn’t God just give me the help that I need, so I don’t have to reach out to these stinking forums and be involved in these soul draining comments from insensitive, unsympathetic, unrealistic people. But then I suppose I bring this all on myself because.

Terri

 

[milde]

It’s quite possible I am not being very sensitive, but I am being very realistic. Let me say this as sympathetically as possible: I was once a poor college student with no clue about how the real world works. College professors I knew literally told me corporations paid big bucks for people who understood x, y, z. Reality smacked me right in the face. It’s a bit unfair for you to tell me that I’m not worried about being in the same position as you. I’m not in that position today because I did worry about it. Very much. Now that I’m older and realize my degree means far less to others than I once imagined, life is much easier. I don’t have unrealistic expectations about my degree.

 

[hasikelee]

What?

 

[Godlovestrength]

No one gets poor because they are poor or rich because they are rich. Rich and poor come from your choices and actions. Those that realize this tend to be happy and enthusiastic about life.

I am sorry but Icannot agree with this statement because there are those who for some reason or other just cannot get to where money can be gained. Think of those who have been brought up not thinking of moneybut more of the spirit. They think more in the line of the saints where Jesus own words say happy are those who are poor now ( Matt 6: 23 ) or so .

Jesus again " why put your money in the place where it can rot etc. I for one have tried to make much money and to save it, at times making thousands per week and yet I have little in the bank. The reason is that I would love to hold it which is my flesh speaking but the spirit is so much stronger and it says save in heaven by helping the poor.
Message … I wish to save in Heaven… my real bank.

God bless

 

[Godlovestrength]

It’s quite possible I am not being very sensitive, but I am being very realistic. Let me say this as sympathetically as possible: I was once a poor college student with no clue about how the real world works. College professors I knew literally told me corporations paid big bucks for people who understood x, y, z. Reality smacked me right in the face. It’s a bit unfair for you to tell me that I’m not worried about being in the same position as you. I’m not in that position today because I did worry about it. Very much. Now that I’m older and realize my degree means far less to others than I once imagined, life is much easier. I don’t have unrealistic expectations about my degree.

I don’t think that your thoughts are unrealistic in what you have said.
I have two degree and you know God needs neither … , truth is He doesn’t need any of my ability, no He needs my availability. And only my availability. It is from my being available that if He wishes then He might choose to use in some small way my ability, but not for the sake of my ability. No rather that His love and glory may be seen or create the wish He desires.

Godbless

 

[milde]

I am sorry but Icannot agree with this statement because there are those who for some reason or other just cannot get to where money can be gained. Think of those who have been brought up not thinking of moneybut more of the spirit. They think more in the line of the saints where Jesus own words say happy are those who are poor now ( Matt 6: 23 ) or so .

There’s nothing wrong with that until you have children who get hungry or sick. Or until you get hungry or sick. At that point one needs to grow up and learn how to provide for themselves. How nice it would be to go through life not having to ever do anything for anyone else and still have others provide for your material needs in life. I really despise people who think that is an ethical and moral way to live.