How do I get to know my girlfriend better?

[johnnyt3000]

I have a hard time having a really good conversation with my girlfriend because I don’t know what to talk about, im 17 and she is 16. I really like this girl, I don’t want to have any awkward moments that I can help. What are good things we can talk about? How do I get know her better? July 19th was our first date.

 

[Irishmom2]

I am confused how she is your girlfriend if your first date was only on the 19th and you have trouble talking to her… does she know she is your girlfriend and if so, how?

Ask her about herself. Go on another date to a bookstore and ask what kind of things she likes to read. Go into the music section and discuss your taste in music. Music is a great thing and can become a thing you both share if you like the same kinds of things, or even if you don’t. Buy her a snack, talk about what you both like as your favorite things to eat.

Enjoy the silence and don’t feel that every moment needs constant chatter.

 

[Lamentation]

Ask her if she’s accepted Jesus Christ as her Lord and Savior.

If that doesn’t break the ice a bit, I dunno what will.

 

[Warandpeace]

Going out in groups can be a good way to get to know one another without too much pressure. Can also do active dates or movie dates, neither of those has time too much face time where you need to come up with lots of topics. Ask her what she likes to do

 

[Xantippe]

I have a hard time having a really good conversation with my girlfriend because I don’t know what to talk about, im 17 and she is 16. I really like this girl, I don’t want to have any awkward moments that I can help. What are good things we can talk about? How do I get know her better? July 19th was our first date.

Normally, “girlfriend” doesn’t refer to somebody you’ve been seeing for a week and that you have trouble finding subjects to talk about with. That seems a little rushed. Dial it down a little?

But as to your question, how about doing doing both recreational stuff together (traditional date stuff) and just doing plain, normal everyday activities with her. So, if she has a sibling who is having a birthday, you could help with the birthday prep. Or if she runs, you could run with her. Or if she volunteers somewhere, see if you can, too. Or if you both need to study for a test, study together. Do normal activities, not just staring-into-each-others-eyes stuff–99% of life consists of non-date activities, after all.

It may be that you two genuinely don’t have enough in common. Either way, you’ll find out quickly if you spend quality time together.

In any case, make sure that your physical relationship is appropriate.

 

[Cricket2]

Start with being a good listener. Also, just ask her things about her life, what she likes, her favorite food, how she feels about crime, marriage, politics…anything that relates to both of your lives. And be there when she is in need, not just when things are nice and easy.

Be her friend and everything else will follow in time. Don’t be in a rush, and as far as awkward moments; well there are going to be those no matter what. Don’t fear them so much that you get stuck never talking. Use them as a time to grow and change on her and your part. Be ready to admit when you are wrong, be willing to forgive and be willing to let her go if you must. Never be abusive, mean, trite or ugly with her. And never take on the attitude that she is your property. You are young and there is lots of time to know many people, so be open and honest about yourself too.

 

[AnneElizabeth]

I have a hard time having a really good conversation with my girlfriend because I don’t know what to talk about, im 17 and she is 16. I really like this girl, I don’t want to have any awkward moments that I can help. What are good things we can talk about? How do I get know her better? July 19th was our first date.

Talk about things you like. Ask her if she likes those things too. Ask her what she likes. Ask her if she’s seen any movies lately that she really enjoyed, or if she’s read any good books lately, or ask her what she likes doing in her spare time. You said you really like her… I’m wondering why… How well do you really know her? Dont be afraid of finding out the real person and this not working out possibly.

What things about her interest you? From there, ask away, remembering to share things about yourself too, or just have conversation about the latest news or events (friends, school, upcoming things like college or profession.). Its good to start sharing what you are interested in because she can always chime in on her opinions from there. Men are traditionally the leaders. Usually a lady will oblige in conversation.

Don’t worry too much about awkward silences. Yes, you want to impress her and that’s sweet and good, but you will impress her with the way you care about her, that is, her real true self… And you can do that by being interested in the way she is, who she is.

Take time to really get to know a person. Be respectful too. You get to know a person both by having many conversations and by spending time with them.

 

[AnneElizabeth]

… Oh, And if there is anything you know she likes, then bring up those topics. That should help break any uncomfortable silences. Remember too… She might be at a loss too as to what to talk about, so just smile kindly and relax…enjoy the time together!

Best wishes to you and have fun!

 

[white_sheep]

I’ve been married for 7 years and still don’t know what to talk to her about. She doesn’t have that problem.

I’ve always thought we had better conversations on the phone.