How Do I Handle This??

[Back2Basics]

I have a problem… I walked away from the Church for a LONG time… and I pretty much know what I need to do to re-enter a state of Grace… my problem is staying there. I’ve been with a man for the past five-and-a-half years, and when we first got together, I wasn’t involved…at all… with the Church. He moved in with me almost immediately (mostly because of family issues he was having, and his having nowhere else to go) and we haven’t been separated since. Over the past year, since he and I got legally married (not in the Church though I’d love to rectify that), I’ve been drawn more and more to wanting to return to the Church, and doing the things I know I need to do to return to and remain in Grace.
My biggest problem is this… I know he’d never understand completely losing our sex life until that can be rectified. I heard the tone in his voice when he brought up the possibility. He’s okay with some of the things we [were doing inside of that act going away, but losing the sex life, on his end, is an absolute no-go.
What can or should I do? [/COLOR]

Is this even the right place for this thread?

 

[ProdglArchitect]

So long as it is the first marriage for both of you, it should be a simple as speaking with a priest and having your marriage validated in the church. It should be a pretty easy and painless process. If it’s not, then it could be substantially more difficult, and you’ll still need to speak to a priest about it.

As for him not being ok with losing the sex life, this isn’t really about him, it’s about your return to Christ. Focus on that.

 

[Back2Basics]

So long as it is the first marriage for both of you, it should be a simple as speaking with a priest and having your marriage validated in the church. It should be a pretty easy and painless process. If it’s not, then it could be substantially more difficult, and you’ll still need to speak to a priest about it.

As for him not being ok with losing the sex life, this isn’t really about him, it’s about your return to Christ. Focus on that.

As for that second piece of advice… thank you. I’m certainly trying.

I already knew it could be difficult. It’d be my first marriage in a church, but he’ll need an annulment, most likely. He was married in a church of some variety, not that he can even remember what kind… I’ll definitely be making an appointment with the Pastor at Church here by the end of this week or next.
There are a lot of other things I need to discuss with a priest, too.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

I have a problem… I walked away from the Church for a LONG time… and I pretty much know what I need to do to re-enter a state of Grace… my problem is staying there. I’ve been with a man for the past five-and-a-half years, and when we first got together, I wasn’t involved…at all… with the Church. He moved in with me almost immediately (mostly because of family issues he was having, and his having nowhere else to go) and we haven’t been separated since. Over the past year, since he and I got legally married (not in the Church though I’d love to rectify that), I’ve been drawn more and more to wanting to return to the Church, and doing the things I know I need to do to return to and remain in Grace.
My biggest problem is this… I know he’d never understand completely losing our sex life until that can be rectified. I heard the tone in his voice when he brought up the possibility. He’s okay with some of the things we [were doing inside of that act going away, but losing the sex life, on his end, is an absolute no-go.
**What can or should I do?

First off, NEVER use color on your posts! It makes them very hard to read.

Second, I see that your husband has had a previous marriage. I don’t think you said whether he is a Catholic? Not that it matters re the annulment process - he’d have to apply for the annulment in any case.

You need to go and see your pastor ASAP. He can direct you through the next steps.

Welcome to CAF, and

[SIGN]Welcome Home![/SIGN]

 

[russet1]

I honestly could not read the whole post. It hurt my eyes.
But from what I gather I think you need to speak to a priest about your marriage. I think the solution could be very simple for you!

 

[Back2Basics]

Lesson learned. No more orange. Sorry!

He’s baptized Christian, but not Catholic. But he has seemed, off and on, open to the idea of conversion, as long as it’s not “being shoved down his throat.” It’s a start.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

Lesson learned. No more orange. Sorry!

He’s baptized Christian, but not Catholic. But he has seemed, off and on, open to the idea of conversion, as long as it’s not “being shoved down his throat.” It’s a start.

A very good start!

Just go and see your priest and lay out the whole situation, and ask for his guidance. May God bless you.

 

[abon12]

You know what you should do, and that is abstain until you are married.

Now the hard part is actually doing it.

You can do it. Pray.