How Do I Help A Priest With a Purity Issue?

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PANTACRATOR

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After three months of carrying this around I have decided to turn here for some help. My parish priest subscribed to my u tube channel of Catholic apologetics, videos etc. When he “Subscribed” he didn’t realize it linked back to his u tube videos that he “favorited”. Sadly, it revealed his favorites were male strippers and male pornography.
I was aghast, and I am not sure he is aware that his favorites were visible to everyone he subscribes to.But I noticed our relationship has really cooled. He is now abrupt with me, doesn’t look me in the eye, and it is awkward receiving the Eucharist from him. I have not been able to go to him for confession and avoid his confessional.
I have not told another person, even my wife, for fear of detraction and hope that this is not detraction even posting this.
My question is this. If my priest has a porn addiction, is there anything I should do about it? Should I confront him? Should I tell the Pastor over him, the bishop? Or just pray as I have been that the Lord gives him victory over his same sex attraction.
I know that despite his sin, I still receive the sacraments validly from him, that is not my issue. It is how to help him.
Thanks for the help
God bless
 
You might want to consider making a post about your situation on the Courage Online website at: groups.yahoo.com/group/CourageOnline/
To make your post, you’d have to at least temporarily join the site as a member. There are about 1,600 members of this online community from all over the world (mostly U.S. laity, but including some priests/religious). Many of these men deal with same-sex attraction issues but are committed to the Courage principle of living chaste lives. The discussions on the site cover a wide range of topics and you may get some good feedback on how to lovingly deal with this particular issue.
 
Firstly, it is so heartening to see that you have great sympathy for your priest. We are all subject to temptation and often need help. However, I do not think it is prudent to confront him directly. What would perhaps be more helpful is to try to befriend him and try to include him socially, and also to try to overcome your own aversion and repugnance, by firstly understanding that we are all repentant sinners, and also by offering your dificulties for the conversion of sinners and of the holy souls in Purgatory.
You can try gifting him a book probably still printed by TAN of the DIGNITY AND DUTIES OF THE PRIEST; OR, SELVA by St Alphonsus De Liguori which provides practical pointers on priestly chastity and self control. If you are unable to obtain the book I have typed a word copy of it which I could gladly mail to you.
Finally what you have written is not detraction and you have wisely kept his identity confidential and God will bless your efforts.

Also understand that what is at risk here is his eternal salvation which is much more important and difficult which makes it important to pray for him. As St Alphonsus puts it priests are far more vulnerable because of their continual association with religion, which makes repentance and amendment so difficult he writes ’'In his book on the " Last Things," Denis the Carthusian relates that a servant of God, conducted in spirit to purgatory, saw there many seculars that were suffering for sins against purity, but very few priests. Having asked the reason, he was told that scarcely any unchaste priest repents sincerely of this sin, and that, therefore, almost all such priests are damned."

God bless
Derrick
 
thanks for the advice. I will look for the TAN book.
God bless you both
 
PANTACRATOR said:
thanks for the advice. I will look for the TAN book.
God bless you both
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I highly recommend Duties and Dignity of the Priest. Every priest should read that book to save his soul. My copy was printed many years ago. If anyone has it, it will be Tan Publishers.
 
This must have been really awkward for both of you. For the morality experts out there: there was likely grave matter involved, so how does a parishioner go about finding out if the priest went to confession or not, because now the OP knows about what has happened (he is not making accusations/allegations).

Actually, I think that if a priest is in mortal sin, it doesn’t affect the Sacraments he administers, but still he is recieving Holy Communion at each Mass.

May God bless you, PANTACRATOR and the priest. I’ve said it before, but lust is a terrible thing, its almost the opposite to love.
 
You know something you really should not know (no matter that he made it possible).

Look him in the eye; do not avoid his confessional. Treat him as ye would have to treat you if you had confessed the same sin. He knows you know.

People expected St. Francis to preach to a priest who was known all over town to be living with a woman. But he kissed his hands and said: all I need to know about you is that these hands bring me Jesus. Hand kissing is a little awkward in our times, but find a way that is culturally acceptable to “kiss his hands.”

Make eye contact, even if he evades it.
 
I thought youtube regulated content on their site? I was not aware that they allowed pornography to be posted there? Has this changed?
 
Sure said:
I thought youtube regulated content on their site? I was not aware that they allowed pornography to be posted there? Has this changed?
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I think youtube regulates their site, but it requires complaints by other users to be made on the offending videos. And from what I’ve heard, most of youtube’s regulation has to do with copyright issues.
 
Sure said:
I thought youtube regulated content on their site? I was not aware that they allowed pornography to be posted there? Has this changed?
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I did not view the videos for obvious reasons but if they weren’t graphically pornographic the title’s alone were, and I didn’t dare click on them.
 
mercygate said:
You know something you really should not know (no matter that he made it possible).

Look him in the eye; do not avoid his confessional. Treat him as ye would have to treat you if you had confessed the same sin. He knows you know.

People expected St. Francis to preach to a priest who was known all over town to be living with a woman. But he kissed his hands and said: all I need to know about you is that these hands bring me Jesus. Hand kissing is a little awkward in our times, but find a way that is culturally acceptable to “kiss his hands.”

Make eye contact, even if he evades it.
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I totally agree with St Francis approach and have meditated on those thoughts in order to deal with this.
I feel that forcing eye contact would be challenging him in a sense as if to say “I know what you were looking at last night” It is so painful I am sure for him I dont want him to get the impression I am in anyway trying to do that to him.

I may just end up saying and doing nothing but praying. The suggestion of anonymously giving him the TAN booklet is a good one but again, will he think I sent it ?
This is so complicated.
 
Bring it up during confession, LOL

Nah.

Well…man to man, ask him if you could have a word with him sometime. And then discuss it with him.

Tell him that your intentions aren’t to showcase him to the public, but be firm that you want progress to be made and that he has to take initiative to stopping this immoral lifestyle on the internet.
 
There is another possibility that has not yet been considered here, I think.

This pastor may be inexperienced in how these websites work, may have been researching something to help a parishioner with a problem, and may have slected these as favorites accidentally. Is this probable? I don’t know, as I seldom visit utube and have never selected any content as a favorite and don’t know how to do so (unless I have also done so accidentally). But when I was brand new to the internet I did bookmark almost every site I ever visited until I learned how to use this feature efficiently. Most of them I never visited again. (how often did I need to know the weather in Quito, Ecuador?) I think it may not be improbable for someone to do something similar with utube.

Is this possible? Well, as long as we can not say it is imposible I think we should not rule it out absolutely.
 
Helping a parishioner with a problem by favouriting videos of male strippers? Yea great to pass around to others! :rolleyes:
 
JFonseka said:
Helping a parishioner with a problem by favouriting videos of male strippers? Yea great to pass around to others! :rolleyes:
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It’s happened here on CAF a few times that someone accidentally stays logged on on their computer and someone else with malicious intent hijacks their account to post things that make 'em seem terrible.

Could it be possible that something similar has happened in this case?
 
LilyM said:
It’s happened here on CAF a few times that someone accidentally stays logged on on their computer and someone else with malicious intent hijacks their account to post things that make 'em seem terrible.

Could it be possible that something similar has happened in this case?
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“But I noticed our relationship has really cooled. He is now abrupt with me, doesn’t look me in the eye”

It is possible though that someone accessed his account.
 
Report him to the Bishop…if he had stolen a parishoner’s car or from the church bakset, wouldn’t you report him?
Why are you giving him such a break when it comes to sin of homosexuality?
 
PANTACRATOR said:
I totally agree with St Francis approach and have meditated on those thoughts in order to deal with this.
I feel that forcing eye contact would be challenging him in a sense as if to say “I know what you were looking at last night” It is so painful I am sure for him I dont want him to get the impression I am in anyway trying to do that to him.
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I don’t mean ‘forcing’ eye contact. What I meant was not avoiding it. He knows you know. You may not have enough evidence to take him to court (and he hasn’t done anything illegal, although it IS intrinsically sinful and against his condition of life). This does not even parallel how a priest would handle a penitent. When somebody confesses this, a priest knows that the person is trying to get past it. You do not know one way or the other, but must hope that he IS past it, or attempting to get past it.

Your mildness and gentleness in not evading eye contact could be the best thing that ever happened to him.

I don’t know how youtube works. Has he (can he) pull whatever it is that you found linked there?

I may just end up saying and doing nothing but praying. The suggestion of anonymously giving him the TAN booklet is a good one but again, will he think I sent it ?
This is so complicated.
 
JFonseka said:
Helping a parishioner with a problem by favouriting videos of male strippers? Yea great to pass around to others! :rolleyes:
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If you had read my post you would have noted that I showed from my own experience how a person inexperienced with how websites work could bookmark things or perform similar actions without fully understanding what he was doing. I don’t know know if this is the case with this priest, and unless and until the OP discusses this matter with his priest, and unless and until the OP reports back on this to us afterward, none of the rest of us knows either.
 
Leopard said:
If you had read my post you would have noted that I showed from my own experience how a person inexperienced with how websites work could bookmark things or perform similar actions without fully understanding what he was doing. I don’t know know if this is the case with this priest, and unless and until the OP discusses this matter with his priest, and unless and until the OP reports back on this to us afterward, none of the rest of us knows either.
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Why? Why? Why? would anyone bookmark something or favourite something that is sinful? Especially when dealing with something sexual.

Would you bookmark a playboy magazine? Of course one would ask what you were doing reading it in the first place. Similarly here, what was he doing look at a stripper video, regardless of whether it was males in or not. And then favouriting it.

Highly suspicious. I of course acknowledge there is a possibility, a good reason, that I haven’t thought of. But from what the OP has said, it certainly isn’t helping the priest.
 
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