How do I improve my self esteem?

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Hi guys. I want to improve my self esteem. My low self esteem affects how I view myself, how I compare myself to others, why I don’t even bother to date like I used to, and how much energy I have. I already go to therapy, I see my priest regularly, and I attend a 12 step program which addresses my eating disorder.

Are there saints I can pray to help with low self esteem? Or do you have any other advice on how to improve self esteem? Thanks guys. Love you all
 
I wish I could help, I’ve always had this problem myself.

Maybe Sts Dymphna and Philomena could help?
 
Might I suggest the Rosary of the Blessed Mother of God? I have overcome many trials through the graces granted to me by praying the Rosary- it’s almost miraculous! 😂
You can also consider placing yourself deliberately in situations where you feel most uncomfortable. That way, you can grow and by pushing the boundaries of your comfort zone, increase in self esteem.
 
Humility.

You are as God created. You are unique. You belong to God.
 
Service. A lot of time we accomplish a great deal more then we though we could when we are motivated to do it for others.
 
Instead of working on self-esteem, I think the key is to work on the self itself. It is the world that is always talking about self-esteem, and “feeling good about one’s self” when it is Jesus Christ who is always telling us to die to one’s self completely. Usually those with great self esteem are people who are full of themselves; so for a Christian the journey is one of tearing down the old self in order to empty ourselves completely in order for God to give us a new self, that is, He gives us Himself so that the soul can reflect the beauty and goodness of God.

Here is a video that will help you take steps to move forward:

 
I think there’s a difference between being full of ego and having self esteem. God wants us to feel good about ourselves. That’s why Christ calls us children of God.

God does not want us to have an inordinate sense of self. But having self esteem is important. Thinking poorly of oneself isn’t what God wants.
 
Brother, Peace be with you.
An old priest used to tell everyone: “Don’t worry; you’re inadequate.” Self esteem is largely over-rated. Is it not better to die to one’s self - that is the old man within us dying and the new man coming to life dedicated to Christ?
If we live in Christ and remain humble we find inner love as a grace from God. Unlike some people we all know who love themselves so much that they become idols unto themselves. Do you want to be that guy?
As an aside, you may be suffering from depression. Ask a trustworthy doctor to check you out.
Praying for you,
A fellow sinner.
 
If you are working the 12 steps, you might try “Make Miracles in Forty Days” by Melody Beattie, the author of “Co-Dependent No More.” I found it at my local library, so you might, too.

I can’t explain exactly what you do–you have to read the book by starting at the start and just taking it in yourself–but in a nutshell it is about letting go of control and coming to God with the self and life you really have and the way you really feel about it and (if you want to) finding someone who will help you do that by listening to you instead of trying to fix you. She doesn’t make big claims or try to explain why this works, but I read the book and did what she said (which is not skipping around in the book trying to bring everything into your head but just going from start to finish and hearing her out) and it did have an amazingly positive effect. It doesn’t take much time a day, so consider giving it a try.
 
Practice, practice, practice.

Practice praying, for yourself, others, and self understanding.
Practice learning about your self worth and how very much God loves you.
Practice doing. Put yourself out there in doing service to others and in situations that intimidate you but are tolerable.
 
This is not a Catholic suggestion but pertains to everybody.

I wholeheartedly recommend Dr. David Burns’ original book “Feeling Good”. You should be able to find it in a used bookstore for a couple dollars. It is very practical and there is nothing “new age” about it, nor does it contain anything that goes against the Church, at least not in the edition I used back in the 1980s.

It contains a number of written exercises. I did an exercise every day for about a year , every time I was feeling bad I would just do an exercise and I ended up with a 3 inch thick binder of pages of my exercises. It changed my thinking and my life in a major, major way.


The other thing I do to this day is underline my name when I sign it. I heard this was another written exercise that a doctor recommended for people to become more assertive and build self-esteem. He would have people fill whole pages with their name and underline it each time. I didn’t go that far but when I sign a check or something I underline it. It really helped.

The third thing and more Catholic thing I remember is when a priest told me in the confessional, “God doesn’t make junk”.
I would feel better about that if it hadn’t been the last confession I went to for 18 years (long story and had nothing to do with the priest or with that particular confession) but I have never forgotten what he said. I don’t even know who the priest was, some guy they got in to help with the holiday confessions.
 
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Perhaps if there is something about yourself you can improve on, like your appearance or fitness level, try working on that. Maybe take up something new or become really good at something you already like doing. Having something to be proud of is really good for one’s self-esteem.
 
I hate to throw another “program” at you, as everyone responds differently to these things, but I will suggest Jordan Peterson. Just look up any of his videos on youtube, or his recent book. Might help.
 
Yeah. But I still have more to lose. I am proud of myself for coming this far. Ive accomplished a lot. I just feel I should feel better than I do about these things
 
Kids often have trouble with self esteem when they have not learned how to deal with failure, because they have not been allowed to fail.

Used to be that kids “tried out” for sports teams. Some kids did not make the team, they either decided that particular sport was not their thing or they practiced and honed their skills and made the team next year.

Today, kids “sign up” for a sport. The organization forms as many teams as needed so everyone plays. Everyone gets a trophy.

When you have grown up in that sort of a world, of course there are many adults with no self esteem!

Get out there and try. If you fail, heck, WHEN you fail, take note of why and work on improving or changing your approach.
 
I am trying new things outside of my comfort zone. My therapist is really good at helping me be more assertive

I do feel better. I just still feel bad
 
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I spent all my childhood obese and finally got to a healthy BMI at 15. When you’ve been the bigger person in the room for so long, it can take a while for it to register that you’re no longer fat and the odd one out. It took me so long to take compliments to heart and I didn’t know how to deal with new found positive attention from the opposite sex.

Still, I have found that I only really started living after I got to a normal weight. I’m sure you’ll get that new lease on life when you finally get there too.
 
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