How do I improve my self esteem?

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on_the_hill said:
A person with low self-esteem is likely to mope about and let the inertia of self-pity and inactivity lead to wasted days.
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Low self-esteem isn’t the same as depression which isn’t the same as moping around feeling sorry for oneself which isn’t the same as habitually wasting time. People can be active and accomplished and still suffer from low self-esteem. People can be inactive and lack goals without feeling sorry for themselves or feeling particularly depressed. Those can and do occur together in some people, but they are all different things.
 
Yes, and as I mentioned in a previous post, there’s no shortage of highly accomplished people who have had problems with low self-esteem.
 
I haven’t read everything the others have said so apologies if this has been said.

Beware of what society calls self esteem as it is often what is really pride or false humility. And if you place too much value on what society teaches you will be led into sin and/or spend a long time trying to unlearn it. So make sure that humility features highly in anything you learn about yourself even if it appears to go against what you hear about self esteem. You must chose between Christianity and society, they are poles apart. Instead look into the dignity of the person, this God gave to us and cannot be taken away (or perhaps I say should not). Pope John Paul II (or St John Paul II which ever name you prefer) wrote a bit on this so you may wish to google it.
 
on_the_hill said:
Fake it 'till you make it.

Seriously. Keep it a secret. Get up in the morning and act as if you are the most highly esteemed person you know. No one has to know that you’re not. Pretend you are. Put on the role of high self-esteem. You might never overcome your low self-esteem, but you can fool everyone and build a good life for yourself anyway. Keep it packed away for when you’re alone at night and you can pray for the strength to make it through the next day.

Take it from me, someone who has suffered low self-confidence my whole life. If I can beat low self-confidence, you can beat low self-esteem.
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I don’t want to sound as if I thought this is a bad idea. It won’t solve problems with self-esteem, exactly but I do believe what you’re suggesting is actually a help and not a “cover-up.” It is not hypocritical to act more confident than you are!

Let’s be honest: the OP probably has no idea how many of the people around her that seem self-confident are really just putting on self-confidence. Questioning our own decision-making is normal and doing it more than is good for us is probably typical. Most other people aren’t as self-confident as they look! “Faking it” isn’t deception. It is deciding to act at ease because that is how we put ourselves and others at ease. It is something that can be learned, it is very common and it is OK!!
 
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Please don’t get caught up in the idea that self esteem is some modern concept that we Catholics can do without. I suffer from depression and trust me, it’s not some virtue or a sign of humility. I don’t know if you do as well but in any case self esteem is important.
 
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