How Do I Just Shut It All Out, And Soften My Heart?

[Crown_of_Stars]

There is such a darkness within me. In truth, I absolutely cannot stand the way the world is right now. “Rights” for the wrong things being flaunted, celebrated, namely abortion, gay this, gay that…
Sex all over everything…EVERYthing. Sexual perversions being shoved at you, disgustingness, nastiness, violence, political cliques, gossip, hype, social media…just all of it. ALL of it! Really, I just can’t stand it any longer. I just want to shut it all out. Obviously, being stuck having to live in this day in time, there is no way to just get completely away from it all…I just can’t find peace. I purposely read as little in the news lately as possible, because I just know what it will all entail, and most of it is just garbage. Every news headline for longer than lately (and is becoming more and more so) is certain to have “Abortion” or “Transgender” in its title. The world is glorifying in wrong, wicked things, and are as absorbed in themselves as they could possibly be. The world is obsessed with themselves and sexual pleasures and deviations. The more corrupt you are, the more you are celebrated and elevated to the status of “heroism” and “legend,” someone to be “looked up to”, and I just don’t get it. Good seems to be in a very select minority, while the bad flourishes and gets endless praise and defense. Do they honestly and truly NOT know the difference between right and wrong, or simply don’t care, or both? It’s self-love and self-gratification. I feel the only way I will ever find peace, trapped in this horridly vile Age, is to just try my hardest to shut it out and have nothing to do with it. I get so upset over the least little mention of any of it. I can’t even SEE the word “Abortion” anymore without feeling as though I could just scream! I feel the only way to get away from it is to just try to concentrate more on my own life, and the state of my own soul. I’ve thought about this more and more deeply lately, and truly do fear being separated from God for eternity…and I don’t want that. I feel my hatred for these awful people might prevent my own salvation…and I’ve thought and tried to live the way Jesus taught “Love one another”, but I just can’t seem to do it. It worries me. I am just not capable of loving anyone who can be so vile. I see absolutely no good in them at all. I realize I may need to just give it time, strengthen my prayer life, and try to do all I can to ask for a softer heart. That’s what it is. My heart has been totally hardened and made stone cold against anyone who can support abortion so casually. Anyone who can love themselves and their physical pleasures over an innocent, tiny human being who has been created by God and given a soul. I feel as though I’m losing my mind over it all, and the only way to soften is to just try to stay away from knowing anything that is going on anymore. I don’t need to know about every little thing that’s taking place anymore. It’s just everywhere. Evil, evil, evil. I’m considering talking about this to a priest, possibly not my own even, just a priest, any priest will do. I know I’m not alone. There must be plenty of others who feel this way. Why does it bother me so deeply? Why do I get so deeply upset, when I can just shut my eyes, shake my head, take it as par for the course, and turn away? Why does it affect me so deeply? I truly get screamingly mad and feel as though I could just slap their faces hard. This is how hard I am. And I truly love God, Jesus, Mary…I truly want to spend eternity with them, yet I fear I may be robbed of this if I continue in my hardness. I just can’t seem to soften. I am filled with such anger, rage, and indignity at the injustices of it all. I just wish the world would end. From all that has happened, and is happening, how can God Himself stand it any longer? Sorry for all of this. I just needed to get it out.

Kathryn

 

[7_Sorrows]

I have been asking myself the same question lately.
The world is in a very dark place right now. There is the daily news of terrorist attacks and death tolls. It is election year and we hear the candidates disparaging one another. How do we tune it out?

I feel like I live in a constant state of dread and fear.

The best answer might just be focusing on our private lives and keeping our eyes on Jesus. And prayer.

 

[Isca]

I believe that everyone has redeeming features, even those whose actions cause you such distress. We are all children of God. We are taught not to judge others, and it’s true that we never know what is in someone’s heart - even people we think we know well in our own lives.

When we read about people in the news whose actions seem wrong, much of it is hyped-up for the story and there’s still a human being at the beginning and the end of that story. Many people have sad, difficult and complicated lives, despite their apparent ‘celebrity status’.

We should just pray for them, and work on our own shortcomings - which is all we can do, in the end.

 

[3_Dog_Night]

One of the things I have done is to cut the cable. I do not watch television. A second thing I have done is to cut out social media. Catholic Answers is one of the few forums in which I follow and participate. Facebook is a distraction and a time waster. A third thing I have done is to remember how I have been forgiven by my Lord. Before repentance and conversion (and ongoing repentance and conversion), my own life was just as worthy of God’s Judgment and Condemnation. Perhaps I am/was guilty of different sins than the ones you describe in your post, but I was guilty of serious sin nonetheless. It is by his Grace through faith that I am saved, as are we all. I have been washed cleaned in the waters of baptism. And but for the grace of God go I. I could just as easily be living a godless life as those you describe. The evil surrounding me is a great reminder of the need for prayer. Each of these people - public figures as well as private individuals - are in great need of my prayers and your prayers. I can pray for their healing. I can pray for their conversion. I can pray that God’s will be done in their lives and in this world. Finally and thankfully, I am not God. These people do not answer to me; God is their Creator and Judge (Savior if they would but turn to him in belief and repentance). I find much peace in knowing that I am not God.

 

[robertmidwest]

Are you active in any social organizations? Is is good to be concerned for all of these things like abortion, defending marriage etc. but you need to find balance in your life. Remember Jesus even retreated and rested. It is okay for you to step back for awhile.

God does command up to love our enemies, they are the children of God too. We don’t have think of them 24/7 though. Find some time in a healthy distraction.

 

[As_for_my_House]

I have had times when I think that I just can’t bear another attack from the barrage of sick,inhumane, degradation that seems to be the zeitgeist of today’s world. Yes, I can turn off the TV, turn my head away from the signs and billboards that promote greed and lust, not look at those poor sad people dressed like hookers or demons.

There was a time when I had hoped that social media would provide an way to connect to people share profound thoughts and deep insights but it seems that it is actually become one of the greatest opportunities for people to display narcissistic behavior and it also allows them to give a very false idealized representation of themselves.
Do I really want to see every developmental stage of a toddler that I have never held cuddled or talked to? vacations? pets? restaurant plates?

My solution, limit all media. I’m no slave to technology either-just got a cell phone a year ago. Find some like minded people and develop real relationships with them. Volunteer to help the young and the elderly. The young need good role models and the elderly need companionship. Pray and be charitable to all these sad lost people.
And remember you are not alone. Peace.

 

[fred_conty]

There is such a darkness within me. In truth, I absolutely cannot stand the way the world is right now. “Rights” for the wrong things being flaunted, celebrated, namely abortion, gay this, gay that…
Sex all over everything…EVERYthing. Sexual perversions being shoved at you, disgustingness, nastiness, violence, political cliques, gossip, hype, social media…just all of it. ALL of it! Really, I just can’t stand it any longer. I just want to shut it all out. Obviously, being stuck having to live in this day in time, there is no way to just get completely away from it all…I just can’t find peace. I purposely read as little in the news lately as possible, because I just know what it will all entail, and most of it is just garbage. Every news headline for longer than lately (and is becoming more and more so) is certain to have “Abortion” or “Transgender” in its title. The world is glorifying in wrong, wicked things, and are as absorbed in themselves as they could possibly be. The world is obsessed with themselves and sexual pleasures and deviations. The more corrupt you are, the more you are celebrated and elevated to the status of “heroism” and “legend,” someone to be “looked up to”, and I just don’t get it. Good seems to be in a very select minority, while the bad flourishes and gets endless praise and defense. Do they honestly and truly NOT know the difference between right and wrong, or simply don’t care, or both? It’s self-love and self-gratification. I feel the only way I will ever find peace, trapped in this horridly vile Age, is to just try my hardest to shut it out and have nothing to do with it. I get so upset over the least little mention of any of it. I can’t even SEE the word “Abortion” anymore without feeling as though I could just scream! I feel the only way to get away from it is to just try to concentrate more on my own life, and the state of my own soul. I’ve thought about this more and more deeply lately, and truly do fear being separated from God for eternity…and I don’t want that. I feel my hatred for these awful people might prevent my own salvation…and I’ve thought and tried to live the way Jesus taught “Love one another”, but I just can’t seem to do it. It worries me. I am just not capable of loving anyone who can be so vile. I see absolutely no good in them at all. I realize I may need to just give it time, strengthen my prayer life, and try to do all I can to ask for a softer heart. That’s what it is. My heart has been totally hardened and made stone cold against anyone who can support abortion so casually. Anyone who can love themselves and their physical pleasures over an innocent, tiny human being who has been created by God and given a soul. I feel as though I’m losing my mind over it all, and the only way to soften is to just try to stay away from knowing anything that is going on anymore. I don’t need to know about every little thing that’s taking place anymore. It’s just everywhere. Evil, evil, evil. I’m considering talking about this to a priest, possibly not my own even, just a priest, any priest will do. I know I’m not alone. There must be plenty of others who feel this way. Why does it bother me so deeply? Why do I get so deeply upset, when I can just shut my eyes, shake my head, take it as par for the course, and turn away? Why does it affect me so deeply? I truly get screamingly mad and feel as though I could just slap their faces hard. This is how hard I am. And I truly love God, Jesus, Mary…I truly want to spend eternity with them, yet I fear I may be robbed of this if I continue in my hardness. I just can’t seem to soften. I am filled with such anger, rage, and indignity at the injustices of it all. I just wish the world would end. From all that has happened, and is happening, how can God Himself stand it any longer? Sorry for all of this. I just needed to get it out.

Kathryn

Try to have some fun and enjoy the good and healthy things. This not only relaxes the mind but is good for the body as well. Tension has a good deal to do with ill health.

Get a hobby when you can enjoy and take pleasure in. It gets your mind off of things for a while. Or read a good book that you can get lost in.

It is good to forget all but the wonderful things God gave us so we can rebuild ourselves from time to time and have the energy and outlook we need.

 

[Beryllos]

Kathryn (Crown of Stars), I think you are getting frustrated because you are fixing your attention on the big problems that you have little or no power to solve. For you and me, some things are impossible, but for not for God. Let us pray that the Holy Spirit may assist and guide others toward lives of faith and virtue. Let us pray that we ourselves may grow in faith, hope, and love.

… Jesus taught “Love one another”…

Start small. Take baby steps. Love those around you, your family, friends, co-workers, and neighbors. In this Jubilee Year of Mercy, consider the mercy that Jesus showed to sinners. He looked at them with love. Can we do the same? Let’s try.

Mercy does not mean tolerance, and it is not all about forgiveness. Fundamentally, mercy means providing for the needs of others, and let’s focus for the moment on their spiritual needs. What can you and I do to help bring someone closer to God? We can’t do it all, but we can cooperate in God’s plan and do our little bit.

Philippians 4:4-9 New American Bible (Revised Edition)

Rejoice in the Lord always. I shall say it again: rejoice! Your kindness should be known to all. The Lord is near. Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Keep on doing what you have learned and received and heard and seen in me. Then the God of peace will be with you.

Peace be with you!

 

[3DOCTORS]

I feel your pain. One thing that’s come to me recently, though, is that even in the midst of some of these battles we have to get away from it awhile and recharge our batteries. Leave it all at the foot of the Cross, and do something that replenishes our soul and our mind and emotions. Don’t feel guilty about that. Whether it’s a walk in nature or a fun time with friends or playing a musical instrument, doing some artwork, whatever. I realized I was beginning to feel “survivor’s guilt” if I let myself enjoy anything when there is so much suffering and evil going on. Then I realized even soldiers need R&R to keep going.

 

[LoveMercyGrace]

your struggle many others struggle, and my struggle. so many good posts here replying to yours!

I often read thecloisteredheart.org blog. She, the author, has been writing this for very long time. It is about living in the world with a cloistered heart… she has much to read, drawn from Scripture and writings of the saints.

Less of the world more of the saints and Holy Scripture

 

[guanophore]

There is such a darkness within me…just all of it. ALL of it! Really, I just can’t stand it any longer. I just want to shut it all out.

There is a lot of good feedback on this thread, and I support all of it. I especially think think what 3 Dog Night has said may be the most applicable. Things/people around us that are disturbing are that way because they reflect things in ourselves we dont’ like and don’t want to face. When we are provoked to such a degree, we need to look within, and see ourselves in the mirror. This is the only way we can truly be able to say “there,but for the grace of God, go I”. The fact is we will not be able to shut out the darkness within ourselves. It goes with us everywhere. The only solution is to bring the light of Christ into every dark corner.

The sense of being overwhelmed by it all, and feeling intolerant, is the Holy Spirit calling your to Holiness, to the deeper journey into Christ, that you might have His Mind and His Heart, for he looked upon the chaos that men have created, and still loved the world enough to die so that redeption could happen.

Obviously, being stuck having to live in this day in time, there is no way to just get completely away from it all…I just can’t find peace.

Our day and age is no better or worse, just different. Some people used to retreat into monasteries to escape, but there has always been wickedness and evil in the world. St. Paul enjoins us to live 'in the world, but not of it" and this is our challenge. Our minds must be seated with Christ in heaven, our hearts ruled by His Kingdome while we sojourn through a vale of tears.

 The world is glorifying in wrong, wicked things, and are as absorbed in themselves as they could possibly be. The world is obsessed with themselves and sexual pleasures and deviations. The more corrupt you are, the more you are celebrated and elevated to the status of “heroism” and “legend,” someone to be “looked up to”, and I just don’t get it.

This is the state of fallen man, into which we may all be sucked if we walk without grace. We are to live instead as a sign of contradiction, and one of those fruits is to manifest the peace and joy of Christ in the midst of suffering. This comes by growing in our relationship with Him, not trying to stamp out the evil around us. When a person enters a dark room, shouting and having intolerance to the darkness does not bring illumination. The best way to do that is to turn on the light. We are to live as lights in the world, shining in the darkness. The lamp on the table from which all can benefit.

Good seems to be in a very select minority, while the bad flourishes and gets endless praise and defense. Do they honestly and truly NOT know the difference between right and wrong, or simply don’t care, or both? It’s self-love and self-gratification.

I think it is both. Some sin in ignorance, and some sin in rebellion, but the results are the same. You are right that the Way is steep and narrow, and few find it.

 I feel the only way I will ever find peace, trapped in this horridly vile Age, is to just try my hardest to shut it out and have nothing to do with it. I get so upset over the least little mention of any of it.

This is an intolerance within yourself that can be healed. Shutting out the darkness does not work.

 

[guanophore]

I can’t even SEE the word “Abortion” anymore without feeling as though I could just scream! I feel the only way to get away from it is to just try to concentrate more on my own life, and the state of my own soul. I’ve thought about this more and more deeply lately, and truly do fear being separated from God for eternity…and I don’t want that. I feel my hatred for these awful people might prevent my own salvation…and I’ve thought and tried to live the way Jesus taught “Love one another”, but I just can’t seem to do it. It worries me. I am just not capable of loving anyone who can be so vile. I see absolutely no good in them at all. I realize I may need to just give it time, strengthen my prayer life, and try to do all I can to ask for a softer heart. That’s what it is. My heart has been totally hardened and made stone cold against anyone who can support abortion so casually. Anyone who can love themselves and their physical pleasures over an innocent, tiny human being who has been created by God and given a soul.

No doubt it is a supreme challenge for us to love our enemies. But our attitude needs to be that of Christ from the Cross, who said “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do”. It is not for us to judge the state of their hearts. You might, as has been suggested, be abel to develop compassion if you are able to serve these people in some way. Perhaps even to support the Right to Life, helping offer an alternative to abortion. People that get and support abortion are victims too. Everyone is damaged by this horrible practice. They need compassion and healing.

I feel as though I’m losing my mind over it all, and the only way to soften is to just try to stay away from knowing anything that is going on anymore. I don’t need to know about every little thing that’s taking place anymore. It’s just everywhere. Evil, evil, evil. I’m considering talking about this to a priest, possibly not my own even, just a priest, any priest will do. I know I’m not alone. There must be plenty of others who feel this way. Why does it bother me so deeply? Why do I get so deeply upset, when I can just shut my eyes, shake my head, take it as par for the course, and turn away? Why does it affect me so deeply? I truly get screamingly mad and feel as though I could just slap their faces hard. This is how hard I am. And I truly love God, Jesus, Mary…I truly want to spend eternity with them, yet I fear I may be robbed of this if I continue in my hardness. I just can’t seem to soften. I am filled with such anger, rage, and indignity at the injustices of it all. I just wish the world would end. From all that has happened, and is happening, how can God Himself stand it any longer? Sorry for all of this. I just needed to get it out.

You are not alone, certainly, and to be able to feel the pain and anger of injustice is to be brought closer to the heart of God. I think it is so intense because it is time for you to take action in some way. You are being called to minister to the “lepers” of our day and age, to immerse yourself in loving service to them, so that you can be perfected in love. It is not an easy calling.

 

[Crown_of_Stars]

Thankyou, everyone, for your thoughts, kind words, and advice. I’ve read them all through more than once, and again just tonight. I will take all of them to heart. They all make perfect sense to me, and it does always help just to read that others feel the same way, that there is just such darkness. I take comfort in knowing Jesus’s own words. That nothing will destroy His Church, and Her gates will prevail. Good will win over, in the true end. I have a statue of Mary that I look at every day on my dresser. She is standing on a rock, crushing the head of the serpent with Her heel…and I love the looks of that!