How do i keep him satified?

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jellie89 said:
He is not a virgin. And I would say he’s catholic in name only. He doesn’t go to mass, and he’s not confirmed. He says he’s religious and close to God; idk what to think. Only God knows their true relationship. I try not to judge. God also only knows what our future holds
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ack said:
On another thread, you mentioned that he watches porn. Maybe you should advise him to stop watching porn, so he won’t feel as tempted when he’s around you. Watching porn makes it much harder to resist temptation.

Then you might not need to avoid time alone as much.
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OK, based on this new information I need to modify some of my advice.

First, his lax Catholicism could pose problems in a marriage, especially when it comes to being unified in doing things the Catholic way on things such as Mass attendance, raising the kids, and birth control, etc.

Second, don’t be duped by the “do not judge” new-age theobabble that has infected parts of the Church, including many posters on this website. YOU are responsible for the choices YOU MAKE. YOU are responsible for avoiding the red flags that YOU SEE. Telling a person that their actions do not match their words is NOT JUDGMENT; if anything, it is PRUDENCE and SELF-PROTECTION on YOUR part. And the red flags I see that portend trouble and heartache are the porn (I don’t know how regularly he views it or if it has reached the addiction stage), the unequal virginity status, and the non-practice of Catholicism. Consider these points. I wouldn’t want you to be back here in a couple of years joining other posters about their husband’s non-faith, porn, and heartache about you were a virgin and he wasn’t. (And if you do a search here, you will find posts on these subjects).

May I offer a suggestion: why not dump him for a practicing Catholic male who is a virgin?
 
BamaRider said:
Nooooooooo, but I wish.
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Yeah, I can imaging the threads you would be posting then:

“Finally met Norseman82. Told him ‘OK, I’ll let you date my daughter. But first you gotta let me take that ZX-6R to the track’”.
 
“Finally met Norseman82. Told him ‘OK, I’ll let you date my daughter. But first you gotta let me take that ZX-6R to the track’”.
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So you gotta a ZX?
 
  1. Marry your boyfriend.
  2. Make him an honest man.
  3. Satisfy him completely.
  4. repeat step 3.
 
The OP was asking how to keep him satisfied.

My answer was in keeping with the sanctity of sexual relations, only within marriage.
 
Magickman said:
The OP was asking how to keep him satisfied.

My answer was in keeping with the sanctity of sexual relations, only within marriage.
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ok. whew, i thought you were encouraging them to marry, because i think that’s not the automatic answer to these issues. :o thx for clarifying.
 
BamaRider said:
So you gotta a ZX?
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Yes. Better mileage than my Escape - that’s how I “stick it” to Hugo and OPEC. Check out the Cathoilic Motorcycle Riders threads - I posted a picture there.

Have you checked out the St. Michael’s Riders?
 
Dear jellie89

I have just been reading some of your former posts about this guy, and back then you wrote that he doesn’t think that anything is wrong with either pre marital sex or porn. Is this still the case, or have he changed his mind?

The reason why I ask you this question is because you are describing an attitude that can be interpreted in two different ways. Either he is frustrated because he want to stay away from sin (and trying his best not to hurt you) :cool:, but find it difficult with the activities you are now doing, or he is frustrated because he wants to have sex, while you don’t allow him that pleasure:mad:. You need to be very careful.

If he has truly changed his mind since your last post, it possible he is truly serious about trying to stay pure. However if that is the case, his past will properly make everything much more difficult. He will not only have to struggle with the usual male hormones, but also with a lot of ingrained habits. Hopefully that is true in your case; I think that would be awesome for the both of you. But if he hasn’t changed his mind on the already mentioned issues, then I fear it is very likely that you are in a lot of trouble.

Mind you, I am not in a position to judge him or anybody else when it comes to having a sexual past or problems with getting rid of sexual impurity. I too comes with a baggage of sexual sin, and still finds myself struggling with the problem of sexual purity (even thou I must say, it is getting better and better). So I am not saying he is a bad person, only that you need to be careful.

Anyway no matter what, my advice is basically the same. You need to stop passionate kissing, cuddling, etc. If he is serious about trying to stay away from sin (and trying his best not to hurt you), staying totally pure will be a great help to him and your relationship. However if his motives are less than honourable, staying totally pure will also make him show his true colours. So either way, I think it will help.

God bless you
TL
 
It’s over.

Not because of the sex thing. I ended it because we were getting anywhere, and falling back into old patterns, and he wasn’t doing anything to stop it. I couldn’t wait any longer for him to decide if he really wanted us.

Now I don’t even know what to feel. I know we weren’t going anywhere. I know it had to be done. But it’s still hard…
 
My advice:
The sun will rise tomorrow.

Just move on, really. That’s all you can do. Try to forget about him, then look for other guys.

Most importantly, stay a virgin until marriage. It’s rare to see people your age virgins, so keep up the good work!

Find other boyfriends who will respect your wishes, and go from there.
 
You did the right thing.
jellie89 said:
It’s over.

Not because of the sex thing. I ended it because we were getting anywhere, and falling back into old patterns, and he wasn’t doing anything to stop it. I couldn’t wait any longer for him to decide if he really wanted us.

Now I don’t even know what to feel. I know we weren’t going anywhere. I know it had to be done. But it’s still hard…
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jellie89 said:
It’s over.

Not because of the sex thing. I ended it because we were getting anywhere, and falling back into old patterns, and he wasn’t doing anything to stop it. I couldn’t wait any longer for him to decide if he really wanted us.

Now I don’t even know what to feel. I know we weren’t going anywhere. I know it had to be done. But it’s still hard…
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**Awwwww, you must be hurting right now:(.

Breakups are tough, even if you know it’s the right thing to do.:bighanky:

We’ll still be here for you if you need to vent, chat, or cry or whatever.

Pray for God to show you the way. Pay for Him to make it clear what you are supposed to be doing with your life. And eat ice cream, that always helps:D
**
 
jellie89 said:
It’s over.

Not because of the sex thing. I ended it because we were getting anywhere, and falling back into old patterns, and he wasn’t doing anything to stop it. I couldn’t wait any longer for him to decide if he really wanted us.

Now I don’t even know what to feel. I know we weren’t going anywhere. I know it had to be done. But it’s still hard…
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aw, jellie…I’m sorry. I know you’re hurting…but in the long run, it’s best. If he wishes to be with you, for you, he will learn to cope with his frustrations. I think that at least for now, it seemed like he isn’t willing to make a change, and in a way, I got the sense that he was trying to push this issue in a subtle way. I’ll pray for you…that you heal from this. I personally feel you did the right thing.
 
Dear jellie89
jellie89 said:
It’s over.

Not because of the sex thing. I ended it because we were getting anywhere, and falling back into old patterns, and he wasn’t doing anything to stop it. I couldn’t wait any longer for him to decide if he really wanted us.

Now I don’t even know what to feel. I know we weren’t going anywhere. I know it had to be done. But it’s still hard…
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That must be difficult, but ir sound like it might be the best move on your part. Will pray for both of you.

God bless you
TL
 
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