How do I know I’m not brainwashing myself?

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I have prayed a daily rosary and an emergency novena every day. I am not in a state of mortal sin and have read the scriptures now too. What am I doing wrong? I take advantage of sacraments and yet still I’m stranded.
 
Btw: this is a great demonstration of humility right there!
 
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I’m like broken that I can’t figure this out I realize I can’t figure this out through human means believe me I have tried. Am I just so broken there’s no hope?
 
Thank you for the time you are spending helping me. I don’t know why anyone gives a second glance to me here and you all welcome me with open hearts and minds even when my questions are difficult!
 
Reading only Scriptures is not enough, because it requires training and previous knowledge of Tradition.

You should read great saints and doctors. There are hundreds, with many styles. One of them surely will “speak your language”.
 
Off the top of your head did any struggle with the fact there’s no evidence of God and had a hard time accepting theology or philosophy as the only way to arrive at the conclusion?
 
I was helped when I was hopeless and I loved it.

Thank God. He is the One helping us : )
 
As a matter of fact I do have evidence of God. But I was only able to see it after I have submitted to the Church’s teaching.

Is the alleged lack of evidence the main trouble?
 
There was a time when I struggled to believe in God and even decided to call myself an atheist. It has taken me about five years to get to the level of faith I am at now. I still doubt once in a while but not as much as I used to.
I have learned that it takes time to build faith. Not days or weeks not even years. But to get to a level where you don’t ever have to question God. Where you have the courage to walk up to the blind and say see or tell the lame to walk and trust that God will do it. That kind of faith can take a lifetime.
 
Yes 😦 I really am either blinded to God or an idiot because everyone else seems to be able to believe and my mind goes proof proof proof! Isn’t it said damned and evil are the generation seeking signs, that one brought me major despair.
 
I wish that someone like Padre Pio was around who I could send my guardian angel to and have proof but such is the struggle of faith I have to resign myself to the fact that it’s Gods will and not mine.
 
I guess we all are proof demanding people. Still, while you don’t research certain topics, have faith and hope. In addition, have charity (treat the teachings with utmost respect) as well.

Anyway, what kind of proof do you need to see the evidences? Logical? Material? Other?
 
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I don’t think you are. You may not see a difference, but unless you are faking it very well I think I see a difference in your posts.
 
Material I guess I mean it’s hard cause there’s no much unknown. People discrediting Fatima as a shared hallucination, there aren’t forensic analysis papers of the Eucharistic miracles just briefs, the shroud as seen in another thread is being heavily debated, Aquinas proofs make sense but I have a hard time with philosophy seeming to be the only way to prove God. I guess it’s really me needing to accept there’s things metaphysics can explain that other disciplines of science can’t? Or maybe I need God in my heart and I’m desolate. I know that’s not a clear answer but I don’t know how to answer it. I read a story about someone sending Padre Pio their angel with a message and he responded before the person told him. If a mystic sent me a letter saying hey stop being stupid that would be pretty proving but that’s like a big no no hahha.
 
I truly hope God can replace my stone heart, mind, and eyes with ones of flesh. :confused:
 
I think you are close, but as you said you want material evidence and are reluctant to fully jump in without it. I also think your atheist friends try to undermine progress when you do make it. While I understand your desire for material evidence I don’t think you’ll be getting it.

I certainly consider Aquinas enough proof that there is something else out there.

I have recommended these to you before but I’d get the Godless delusion by Patrick Madrid and I think it’s why be Catholic or Why we’re Catholic. Either may be good but it’s the one by Tim Staples that I think would be better.
 
So, you say the philosophical proofs make sense but they are not enough, right? Are you fond of mathematics and/or geometry?

Regarding material proof, what you want is evidence of when God interacts with us, is it correct? Besides your very existence at this moment, you want to see miracles or proof of Bible stories, is it?

I’ve been there, mate.
 
I know and I have to accept if it’s not in Gods will it’s not in Gods will. I don’t know why I think he would care enough about me specifically to violate the laws of nature. I’ll continue reading and striving hard! I wish so badly that I could accept Aquinas. He’s way smarter than I am!
 
I just want one indesputable bit of evidence which won’t happen cause it’s not meant to. Some people get visions or other miracles and yet I seem damned to have to believe on faith alone. Which I know is good and right and blessed is he who believes without seeing, and the Aquinas basically has that quote that mentions how to those who are skeptical no sign will be enough and it fills me with dread. I want what ultimately it sounds like I can never have. I’m sorry this isn’t how you imagined spending your night I am sure!
 
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