How do I know if I love people for the right reason or selfish reasons?

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Nelka

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I don’t mean family but other people, if I show someone love, kindness and compassion how do I know I am doing it for the true reason, maybe I get something from it, how would I know?

Would it solely come down to whether I brag about what I have done versus keeping it to myself?

Or is it if I show love for someone for who they are without any love in return?

Thanks.
 
Our Lord taught us to love our neighbours as ourselves. I take this to mean care for them as we would care for ourselves, empathise to that degree and when we do we are behaving in a loving way and for no return other than the sense of well being that we may feel.
It may be that human beings are not capable of truly altruistic behaviour but we may be able to approximate it.
 
If you would still be kind and polite, even if they could do nothing for you, you’re on the right track.
 
@Nelka caritas or love is commanded by Our Lord and God guarantees such good works don’t go without reward.
Nelka said:
if I show someone love, kindness and compassion how do I know I am doing it for the true reason
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Placing the question is already a good indication of honest earning for doing God’s will.
Nelka said:
Would it solely come down to whether I brag about what I have done versus keeping it to myself?
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Well, bragging (or vainglory) don’t mean that the work of charity wasn’t valid (selfless intention). It means you are questioning if you’re feeling tempted against humility and modesty (not wanting to show off). It can happen in a conversation that you’ll say:“I’ve been volunteering for a charity”, or “I’ve tried hard to do my best towards a certain person” there’s nothing necessarily wrong about saying it, if for example you might feel that’s vital during a job interview or for credibility if it’s strictly necessary or in a context of honesty where truth allows to build trust. (so you can separate the second act from the first).

Another thing completely would be doing a “good work” with objective intentions of social gains by way of recognition. Mt6.
Nelka said:
Or is it if I show love for someone for who they are without any love in return?
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Works of love are good, if you get loved in return all the better (such is friendship as a fruit of peace). If you don’t get loved in return, there can be added merit - a lot in case of loving our enemies.
 
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First, love is not an emotion, it is a decision. I help out a homeless man out of love for Christ and to give him some self respect, that he is valued. Loving our neighbor is a command from God, and we should be joyful about it, even if that joy is just inside.

I suppose there is a little selfishness in all love, if you are expecting anything in return now or in eternity. That’s about all I can say in general,

If you’re thinking about love in a personal relationship, the perfect love is all about loving the other person without regard to yourself - that is “perfect” “ideal” love
 
I think if you’re having these subconscious doubts,offer them up to God and keep being the friend you are.
 
You don’t know for sure. Love is a gamble with your heart. And sometimes with your life.
 
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