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Peter_J
Guest
Hi anonymous1995. I don’t know what your intentions are in starting this thread, but what you posted is just weird (and I’ve read a lot of weird posts).
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BroIgnatius
Guest
OP, keep in mind the mortal sin worldly-minded people with petty axes to grind and commit the mortal sin of rash judgment, even to the point of encouraging you to not use services that can help you. In their evil to get at us, they care nothing for you. We have helped 100,000s of people. Look for yourself and judge for yourself.
By the way, we are a defacto association of the faithful under canon law, completely loyal to the Church, vetted by canon lawyers who said that we are fully within canon law, and by canon law are not required to have official approval to exist. In fact, no organization starts out with approval anyway. But, this is the nature of rash judgment. These people no nothing of canon law, they only want to hurt us, and in doing so hurt you.
All this is explained on our website, with the proof of it.
Enough said. Ignore the attacks, they do not come from God, but from the other guy.
By the way, we are a defacto association of the faithful under canon law, completely loyal to the Church, vetted by canon lawyers who said that we are fully within canon law, and by canon law are not required to have official approval to exist. In fact, no organization starts out with approval anyway. But, this is the nature of rash judgment. These people no nothing of canon law, they only want to hurt us, and in doing so hurt you.
All this is explained on our website, with the proof of it.
Enough said. Ignore the attacks, they do not come from God, but from the other guy.
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anonymous1995
Guest
A friend whom I knew many years before but later on lost contact mentioned, based on his impression on my junior high school behaviours, that I am narcissistic (by being a bookworm and long-winded Whatsapp messages in talking about my daily routine) and perfectionist (which I agree) and these two factors contribute to homosexuality. So I want to know if I really were gay/having SSA/homosexual…
A psychologist friend who knows me, however, said that I am not narcissistic…
I am seeing a priest for regular spiritual direction. I did tell him about all these (including when and how I learnt to masturbate by accident) except the part that I’ve watched gay porn before…
Tis_Bearself
Patron
Being a narcissist and perfectionist does not mean a person is gay, any more than getting momentarily aroused by looking at some gay porn does.
The way you know if you are gay is, you find yourself sexually attracted to people of the same gender as yourself, and with little or no sexual attraction to people of the opposite gender from yourself. That’s the only way you know. You don’t find out by taking little paper tests, having your friend analyze your personality traits, or viewing porn.
The way you know if you are gay is, you find yourself sexually attracted to people of the same gender as yourself, and with little or no sexual attraction to people of the opposite gender from yourself. That’s the only way you know. You don’t find out by taking little paper tests, having your friend analyze your personality traits, or viewing porn.
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Peter_J
Guest
I don’t know you well enough to say anything about you confidently, but your OP does have overtones of both narcissism and perfectionism.
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TK421
Guest
I have no idea what you are talking about or what spirit stirred you to say such a thing.
@OP:
You are trying to do what is right. God is with you. I recommend finding a trustworthy spiritual advisor in the Church to direct you further. It is not safe or profitable to find counsel here.
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egretps
Guest
Get off the porn.
The longer you watch it the more likely you will delve deeper into it and probably get a little more than aroused and curious. Also, Dr. Judith Reisman has stated that ALL Porn is essentially Homosexual porn. Funny thing is comedian Ron White said so in a routine once and although I was shocked, it turns out later I heard Dr. Reisman speak during an interview and sure 'nuf, tis so. I would also highly recommend Joseph Sciambra’s YouTube videos and his blog, he also has a Facebook page.
Porn also is a gateway for demonic activity. Fr. Ripperger speaks on this at times on his videos.
Practice Custody of the eyes. Not so hard to avoid, difficult but not impossible to remove from your ‘habits’. As Mr. Sciambra said, put something as simple as a holy card or other GOOD reminder taped to your pc monitor to encourage you.
You are more precious than the Crud Porn promises.
As a person who has been blessed with a devotion to St. Joseph, I highly recommend you making a novena to him to help you. He is very faithful and a true man’s man.
I will pray for you anon1995.
The longer you watch it the more likely you will delve deeper into it and probably get a little more than aroused and curious. Also, Dr. Judith Reisman has stated that ALL Porn is essentially Homosexual porn. Funny thing is comedian Ron White said so in a routine once and although I was shocked, it turns out later I heard Dr. Reisman speak during an interview and sure 'nuf, tis so. I would also highly recommend Joseph Sciambra’s YouTube videos and his blog, he also has a Facebook page.
Porn also is a gateway for demonic activity. Fr. Ripperger speaks on this at times on his videos.
Practice Custody of the eyes. Not so hard to avoid, difficult but not impossible to remove from your ‘habits’. As Mr. Sciambra said, put something as simple as a holy card or other GOOD reminder taped to your pc monitor to encourage you.
You are more precious than the Crud Porn promises.
As a person who has been blessed with a devotion to St. Joseph, I highly recommend you making a novena to him to help you. He is very faithful and a true man’s man.
I will pray for you anon1995.
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Deus_tecum
Guest
This occurred to me when I was in my 20s. A new friend around the same age was excited about getting a group of us guys together to visit a nearby strip club, which was not within my habits. I was somewhat fallen from the ways of God at that time, so I did go, but afterward, I asked him, “What is the point of a bunch of guys sitting around together getting aroused by women they are not even allowed to touch, and then leaving together in this state of arousal?” The same goes for guys watching porn movies together.
An older acquaintance wanted to bond more as friends after he retired and lost contact with the guys at his former work. He invites me over for a few beers, but then without even asking if I was interested in such things, he puts in a porno movie. This is with his wife in the room as well. To some people I guess this sort of thing is “normal”. I don’t want to be that kind of normal.
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anonymous1995
Guest
Thanks for your earnest prayer. I’m also deeply grateful to all those who have read or replied to this thread.
Pope Francis once said, ‘The Devil loves to give false promises to entice people into sins, but once sins are committed, Satan flees as if John the Apostle escaped from the Garden of Gesethmane undressed’. This is such an accurate description of my experience with sins!
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jtwp5
Guest
I know this thread is a couple months old. I haven’t been to confession in a few months and just went today. I have/had such a terrible porn addiction. Mainly all gay porn, I’ve tried going without masturbating but usually give in within 2 weeks. I think the longest I’ve went is 3…
I’m still confused about my sexual attraction, outside of porn I do not feel like I want a sexual relationship with another male. I think so many other things tie into this. Growing up I was the fat kid that was always made fun of, I’ve since gotten down to a somewhat normal weight. I feel extremely envious/jealous of other men and how they look. My self-esteem is very low.
I’ve read that experiences in childhood play a huge role into SSA. I recall that my grandpa was very abusive towards my grandma. I wonder if that left an imprint on me. I have a voice in my head “don’t think of women that way, it’s wrong”.
There are many things in my life I need to work out, I’m halfway through with college and have yet to make any lasting friendships. I’ll meet some people in class but never hang out afterwards. Also been living alone the last year which hasn’t helped with the porn addiction. All this loneliness has take a tole on me.
Anyways, I want a relationship with a woman and hope to get married and have kids one day. But my past give me pause on whether I should do this, or can do this. Romantically, I’m attracted to women. “Nice face, beautiful eyes, etc.” But sexually I’m not sure. I think I need to workout my self-esteem issues and break free from my porn addiction and get steady friendships before I even attempt this.
Well that was probably all over the place, trying to get everything swirling in my head on paper never works out the way I want it to.
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Viki63
Guest
Dear brother,
There is much good advice offered earlier on this thread. The best advice is give up porn. Tape a picture of Our Lady or Christ on the cross to your computer and ask for help when you’re tempted.
As mentioned, porn can rewire your brain and open the door to demonic activity.
When you are tempted, remember that all the saints and angels in heaven can see us and what we are doing – we are surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses. Do you really want Jesus and Mary watching you watch porn?
You’re met some people in class but never hang out – have you tried asking some of them if they want to go out for coffee/a coke or whatever? If someone says they’re too busy, ask someone else. It’s important to have healthy friendships.
Please stop watching porn,. It will warp your future relationships and make it less likely you will marry and have children.
Praying for you.
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Prodigal_Son
Guest
First off, I want to say something that runs counter to quite a few of the comments here. A man does not have to be attracted to actual men around him to be gay. I spent years ONLY experiencing same-sex attraction when I looked at pictures of men or porn (or – to be fair – if I were at the beach). I never experienced any sort of romantic feelings toward guys.
Then I sought psychotherapy, and I started being open about my experiences with various people in my life. Surprise, my attractions changed! But not in the sense that I was no longer attracted to men. In the sense that I was suddenly actually interested in relationships with men. Previously, my attractions were so REPRESSED that they only found their way into compulsive sexual activity like porn. But by unrepressing them, I realized that I really do want a richer emotional relationship with a man. I’m OK with that, and it certainly doesn’t mean I have to seek out a sexual relationship with a guy. But it does make me far less likely to do something like have a “one night stand” with a man.
To the OP, I think the advice you’ve gotten is a mixed bag. It’s pretty clear to me that (in our modern terminology) you are bisexual. You’re attracted to both sexes. Big deal. If you prefer another term, go for it. It doesn’t really matter all that much, since you’ve already been experiencing all these things.
I pray that God would help you navigate these waters faithfully.
Then I sought psychotherapy, and I started being open about my experiences with various people in my life. Surprise, my attractions changed! But not in the sense that I was no longer attracted to men. In the sense that I was suddenly actually interested in relationships with men. Previously, my attractions were so REPRESSED that they only found their way into compulsive sexual activity like porn. But by unrepressing them, I realized that I really do want a richer emotional relationship with a man. I’m OK with that, and it certainly doesn’t mean I have to seek out a sexual relationship with a guy. But it does make me far less likely to do something like have a “one night stand” with a man.
To the OP, I think the advice you’ve gotten is a mixed bag. It’s pretty clear to me that (in our modern terminology) you are bisexual. You’re attracted to both sexes. Big deal. If you prefer another term, go for it. It doesn’t really matter all that much, since you’ve already been experiencing all these things.
I pray that God would help you navigate these waters faithfully.
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Prodigal_Son
Guest
W.H. Auden said that homosexuality is built around envy. This sounds very common to me. I like my body, but I also experience a level of envy about the bodies of other guys. If the envy becomes sexualized, it becomes attraction.
I would tread carefully. It could be a good idea to get married, but it’s probably best to have some degree of sexual chemistry with a woman before you marry her. Especially considering your worries. And you need to tell her all about your attractions to men.
I’m attracted to guys, and I’m married to a woman. But I’m definitely attracted to her. It’s possible, and it can be great, but you definitely do not want to be USING her to have the life you want. That’s the key principle here.
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Peter_J
Guest
Thank you for sharing about that, Prodigal_Son. I will pray that it is helpful to jtwp5, anonymous, and anyone else here who needs it.
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animalis
Guest
To the OP, be mindful of giving thanks to God often throughout the day. Porn is a type of sin in which calls on the individual to do reparation. You may not have had a second conversion in which you sweetly cry out many tears for your sins. (cf. CCC 1429) There is an ascetic battle that awaits you if choose to continue on the journey to heaven.
The battle will be won decisively if you are particularly mindful of humility and gratitude.
Finally, keep in mind - Jesus “said to Peter: Go behind me, Satan, thou art a scandal unto me: because thou savourest not the things that are of God, but the things that are of men.” (Mt 16:23) You have the future opportunity to renew your love for the things of God. This is an important aspect. For as someone already mentioned, porn draws power from the devils upon you. So avoid it, tell Satan to leave in the proper modes, and savourest holy things. And while you do that expect no quick fixes. It can be discouraging but with the resolution to accept everything that God ordains and permits - you will indeed find the virtue of gratitude which will give you power in your kingly office. (cf. CCC 908-913)
" I accept" “I will obey” “I am not overtaken by the devil”
The battle will be won decisively if you are particularly mindful of humility and gratitude.
Finally, keep in mind - Jesus “said to Peter: Go behind me, Satan, thou art a scandal unto me: because thou savourest not the things that are of God, but the things that are of men.” (Mt 16:23) You have the future opportunity to renew your love for the things of God. This is an important aspect. For as someone already mentioned, porn draws power from the devils upon you. So avoid it, tell Satan to leave in the proper modes, and savourest holy things. And while you do that expect no quick fixes. It can be discouraging but with the resolution to accept everything that God ordains and permits - you will indeed find the virtue of gratitude which will give you power in your kingly office. (cf. CCC 908-913)
" I accept" “I will obey” “I am not overtaken by the devil”
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