How do I know if my father's threat is for real?

[cristyd]

We are waiting for the result of my father’s biopsy to find out if he has cancer or just a benign tumor. My father is a pessimistic person and he already started to tell me that he will die soon and that my mother will be alone, etc. He also told me a few days ago that if the result is cancer he will take 30 sleeping pills and finish it. Now my father is the type who exaggerates and invents things, and I usually don’t believe half of the things he tells me but a suicide threat is a suicide threat. I don’t know if what he said was just in the heat of the moment or if I should be scared that he said that to me. If the result is bad how can I help him and keep him from doing something like this?

 

[Michelle_Arnold]

Any threat of suicide should be taken absolutely seriously and not treated as idle. If your father has stated his intention and his plan, then that is more than enough for you to consult with his doctor for appropriate assistance. Among other things, ask his doctor for a referral to a social worker who specializes in elder care. If your father later protests that he “didn’t mean it,” then say respectfully but firmly, “I’m sorry, Dad, but I had to take what you said seriously.”

It is possible that your father is just engaging in a particularly cruel and selfish form of emotional manipulation, but even if he is, the way to deal with it is to take him seriously. If he doesn’t get the emotional “payoff” he’s looking for, and instead causes more difficulties for himself than he imagined, he may have the motivation to stop making this kind of threat.

You and your family are in our prayers. God bless.