How do I make friends in my new city (besides volunteering in my parish)?

[canadienne]

Recently moved. Have made a couple acquaintances at my parish, but, you know, I’m a human being, I need more friends than a few acquaintances that I might hopefully bump into at Mass a handful of times a month.

But I’m not interested in what the world is interested in.

What on earth happened to all the Catholic mid 20 to mid 30 year olds? I was looking on the meetup website, there’s lots of groups in my city, but I’m just not interested in book or sailing clubs, new-to-the-city pub crawls, etc. Unfortunately my diocese does not have very many opportunities for volunteering in Catholic things like pro-life organizations or anything really, besides parish activities.

And so I’m looking for ideas of where to volunteer where it could be kind of a ministry or something. I was thinking perhaps the humane society, because taking care of abused animals is a very Christian thing to do. I work in the medical field so I do not want to volunteer at a nursing home or hospital. Besides, the idea is to meet people my own age, and most people my age do not volunteer in nursing homes or hospitals.

Help! I’m so shy and am from a small town where I knew everybody and so never had the opportunity to learn how to make new friends. Except in grade five when this new girl moved into town, I made friends with her I guess. But that was like 20 years ago… I don’t know how to do this! I feel kind of pathetic now. sigh The joys of growing up in basically a village.

 

[Radish]

Make friends with your neighbors. I made treats for my neighbors and went out and said hello. Normally it is the other way around (neighbors visit the newbie) but it helps a bunch. If you have a dog go out for walks or heck just go out yourself. I’ve met a bunch of people that way.

 

[canadienne]

Make friends with your neighbors. I made treats for my neighbors and went out and said hello. Normally it is the other way around (neighbors visit the newbie) but it helps a bunch. If you have a dog go out for walks or heck just go out yourself. I’ve met a bunch of people that way.

How on earth do you make friends with people going for walks? I love going for walks and try to do so as many days of the week as I can, but I never meet people on them. I see people and will smile at them as I walk past out of politeness. But I don’t make friends with them. How do you do that???

Maybe I’m too shy for my own good…

 

[edwest2]

Recently moved. Have made a couple acquaintances at my parish, but, you know, I’m a human being, I need more friends than a few acquaintances that I might hopefully bump into at Mass a handful of times a month.

But I’m not interested in what the world is interested in.

What on earth happened to all the Catholic mid 20 to mid 30 year olds? I was looking on the meetup website, there’s lots of groups in my city, but I’m just not interested in book or sailing clubs, new-to-the-city pub crawls, etc. Unfortunately my diocese does not have very many opportunities for volunteering in Catholic things like pro-life organizations or anything really, besides parish activities.

And so I’m looking for ideas of where to volunteer where it could be kind of a ministry or something. I was thinking perhaps the humane society, because taking care of abused animals is a very Christian thing to do. I work in the medical field so I do not want to volunteer at a nursing home or hospital. Besides, the idea is to meet people my own age, and most people my age do not volunteer in nursing homes or hospitals.

Help! I’m so shy and am from a small town where I knew everybody and so never had the opportunity to learn how to make new friends. Except in grade five when this new girl moved into town, I made friends with her I guess. But that was like 20 years ago… I don’t know how to do this! I feel kind of pathetic now. sigh The joys of growing up in basically a village.

Hi,

I know how you feel, really. One of my lady friends grew up up on a farm in a small town. She was a Methodist bur recently converted to Catholic. She is warm, funny and intelligent. Check other Churches in your area to see if they have women’s groups or other ministry groups. I’m shy too. I think volunteering at an animal shelter is a good idea.

It sounds like you are in your mid-twenties. Since I don’t know where you are now, perhaps this list can help:

catholicyoungadults.com/cyagroups.html

Peace,
Ed

 

[Radish]

How on earth do you make friends with people going for walks? I love going for walks and try to do so as many days of the week as I can, but I never meet people on them. I see people and will smile at them as I walk past out of politeness. But I don’t make friends with them. How do you do that???

Maybe I’m too shy for my own good…

Different ways. If you walk by then say hello and smile. You may see them again - compliment their yard. Ask if you can pet their dog they are walking. Sometimes it leads to them asking questions about you. Where do you live, do you have kids, etc. Say good bye and move on after your small talk is over. I’m not going to lie it’s a slow process. I’m not exactly a social butterfly myself but going slow helps.

 

[momof3js]

Join something–Kiwanis, VFW Auxiliary, Beta Sigma Phi, Toastmasters, Rotary Int’l, etc. Service clubs in the US have had declining memberships for years and do good works. Most have a Christian background. You say you aren’t interested in book clubs or pub crawls–what are you interested in? I took classes in art, computers, sewing, and similar things. If you can’t say “I’m interested in x or y,” you need to figure that out first. Knowing yourself and your passions is the first thing. That can give you confidence and that attracts people.

 

[Radish]

Momo - those are great ideas as well. Sewing, knitting, cooking classes are good. There are classes and clubs for anyone.

 

[canadienne]

Join something–Kiwanis, VFW Auxiliary, Beta Sigma Phi, Toastmasters, Rotary Int’l, etc. Service clubs in the US have had declining memberships for years and do good works. Most have a Christian background. You say you aren’t interested in book clubs or pub crawls–what are you interested in? I took classes in art, computers, sewing, and similar things. If you can’t say “I’m interested in x or y,” you need to figure that out first. Knowing yourself and your passions is the first thing. That can give you confidence and that attracts people.

Never heard of some of those groups (I’m not American. As my username suggests, I’m Canadian. ) I am interested in a few arts, but they are more solitary things. I sew, I write. I used to love music but I haven’t been involved in that for hundreds of thousands of years. Maybe I’ll try to find a cooking class or something. I bet there’d be lots of young people trying to learn how to cook lol. (I’m serious!).

 

[jaimeleglise]

Maybe join a third order or start a chapter of SPSE.

 

[jaimeleglise]

Check out your local animal shelter.

 

[Linusthe2nd]

Recently moved. Have made a couple acquaintances at my parish, but, you know, I’m a human being, I need more friends than a few acquaintances that I might hopefully bump into at Mass a handful of times a month.

But I’m not interested in what the world is interested in.

What on earth happened to all the Catholic mid 20 to mid 30 year olds? I was looking on the meetup website, there’s lots of groups in my city, but I’m just not interested in book or sailing clubs, new-to-the-city pub crawls, etc. Unfortunately my diocese does not have very many opportunities for volunteering in Catholic things like pro-life organizations or anything really, besides parish activities.

And so I’m looking for ideas of where to volunteer where it could be kind of a ministry or something. I was thinking perhaps the humane society, because taking care of abused animals is a very Christian thing to do. I work in the medical field so I do not want to volunteer at a nursing home or hospital. Besides, the idea is to meet people my own age, and most people my age do not volunteer in nursing homes or hospitals.

Help! I’m so shy and am from a small town where I knew everybody and so never had the opportunity to learn how to make new friends. Except in grade five when this new girl moved into town, I made friends with her I guess. But that was like 20 years ago… I don’t know how to do this! I feel kind of pathetic now. sigh The joys of growing up in basically a village.

Volunteering at the parish or even in another parish is about all I can think of once you are out of school. What Diocease are you in, I bet I can find something. Subscribe to the Dioceasan paper, and read the parish bulletins and go to all the stuff you can find. Be out going. There are Catholic Singles dating services too.

You might try this, .catholicmatch.com/?referrer_code=msn;campaign_code=search.topic.catholic_singles_geo.ad6

You could also try a personal item in the news paper, " Interested in meeting serious Catholic Singles. "

Get to know some of the older gals at church. One of them may have a son, grand son, cousin, etc. they might like to introduce. I have a single nephew myself, 34 and never married. He is heavily involved in Church work.

Good Luck

Linus2nd

 

[canadienne]

Volunteering at the parish or even in another parish is about all I can think of once you are out of school. What Diocease are you in, I bet I can find something. Subscribe to the Dioceasan paper, and read the parish bulletins and go to all the stuff you can find. Be out going. There are Catholic Singles dating services too.

You might try this, .catholicmatch.com/?referrer_code=msn;campaign_code=search.topic.catholic_singles_geo.ad6

You could also try a personal item in the news paper, " Interested in meeting serious Catholic Singles. "

Get to know some of the older gals at church. One of them may have a son, grand son, cousin, etc. they might like to introduce. I have a single nephew myself, 34 and never married. He is heavily involved in Church work.

Good Luck

Linus2nd

Hold up. I’m not talking about finding a boyfriend, as I’m currently discerning a vocation to consecrated life. I’m just talking about finding regular friends…

 

[momof3js]

The organizations I listed are community service orgs. They meet weekly or monthly and have some involvement in the community. Look in your local paper for the events calendar. Most people never read that but it has tons of stuff. And you screw up your courage and go to a meeting you might enjoy. I take classes at the local fabric store and through the community college or community education. I love museums–many have seminars or programs. I’ve never been shy, but I have a shy friend and I know how hard it is for her. My main point is still that if you find something you enjoy, go do it and enjoy it, and friendship will follow. We are attracted to people who look like they are enjoying life. Don’t be scared to enjoy something! I believe in your ability to find your place (and the friends that come with it) and I will pray for you. A local convent has many events that reach out to the community. Have you been to any of those? One of my dearest friends is a Bernardine Franciscan–we met at a lector workshop.

 

[Linusthe2nd]

Hold up. I’m not talking about finding a boyfriend, as I’m currently discerning a vocation to consecrated life. I’m just talking about finding regular friends…

O.K. You could take some self improvement classes as has been suggested. Have you thought of getting involved in Crusillo? My Nephew and Sister-in Law have found that very helpful, spiritually and for making worth while friends.

Linus2nd