How do I not take Communion?

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PhoenixOfGold

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I am a former Protestant about to sign up for RCIA with full plans of converting to the Catholic Church. I have only been to one Mass in my life and Communion was a very awkward and embarrassing situation. I know I’m not supposed to take the Eucharist yet, so I didn’t. But when it was time to take Communion, they took everyone row by row and led them to take it, and I seriously think I was the only one in the entire Church who didn’t stand up with the rest of them. It was very awkward being the only person sitting down and having to squeeze my legs in to allow everyone past. Is there some procedure I should be doing here that I’m not getting, or did I handle it right? Should I just stay seated and let people pass, or get up and let everyone pass and then sit back down, or what?

This is also my first post here on the forums, although I’ve been around here as a non-user for quite some time. So thanks!
 
Hi Phoenix,

Welcome to the Forum. 🙂

I am sorry that your last experience caused awkwardness for you.

This is what I have done when I have not gone up for Communion. I have found that this works out best after some trial and error.

I get up and stand up with the rest of my row and go all of the way down to the left end of the pew and let everyone pass me by. Then I sit back down and wait for everyone to come back to the pew. Then, I get back up and stand back up at the right end of the pew so that they can pass me by at that end and get back to their seats. This way, no one has to climb over me to be seated again, or has to worry about stepping on anyone’s feet, etc.
 
oldgraymare2 said:
Hi Phoenix,

Welcome to the Forum. 🙂

I am sorry that your last experience caused awkwardness for you.

This is what I have done when I have not gone up for Communion. I have found that this works out best after some trial and error.

I get up and stand up with the rest of my row and go all of the way down to the left end of the pew and let everyone pass me by. Then I sit back down and wait for everyone to come back to the pew. Then, I get back up and stand back up at the right end of the pew so that they can pass me by at that end and get back to their seats. This way, no one has to climb over me to be seated again, or has to worry about stepping on anyone’s feet, etc.
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This is a great way to handle it. For ~ 20 years I simply moved sideways (slightly) to allow folks to pass by IF I were seated toward the center. This is a much better solution. Most of the time I just sat all the way to the end so that I only had to get up to allow everyone back in the pew. It worked very well.

To the OP, yes at first it was sort of awkward, etc, but that’s a personal issue. At least it was for me. After a while you’ll see that no one is judging you or seeing it as an issue. I would say that all of those at Mass are glad to see you there. I got over it quickly and realized this and especially when there were some folks who approached me after Mass where we had prayers for us in RCIA. They would simply tell me how wonderful it is that I am there and “God bless you!”, etc. etc. There are many more converts there at Mass than you realize and we’ve all been in that situation. I’ve experienced it the other way around after Confirmation last year. I only assume the gentlman was not Catholic but I smiled and said hi to him on the way by. He lit up with a smile. I did that as I didn’t want him to feel unwelcome even in the slightest.

Don’t let this be a stumbling point for you. I hope our suggestions help you and btw, welcome to the forum and also …Welcome Home and God bless you on your journey!! 👍
 
If I am seated where the reception line begins, I usually stand up and move to the side to allow everyone else to pass to the line. I then return to my kneeling position.

It certainly helps to be seated at the end of the pew (opposite the receiving line). That way you only have to stand once.

I know it may feel awkward, but you’ll get the hang of it. No one will be judging you, either.

I am a cradle Catholic and every time I am unable to receive (ie: unconfessed mortal sin, did not fast for the 1 hour prior to receiving, etc.) I remain kneeling.

You’re doing the right thing, OP. Welcome to our beautiful faith! 👍

Peace.

+JMJ+
 
PhoenixofGold,

Be mindful that our Lord Jesus Christ s right there with you while you are sitting in the pew. And, you can make a spiritual communion.

Peace!

Dorothy
 
I don’t know where you are from but in the UK it is customary to go up to communion with everyone else but with your arms crossed across your chest in an X shape with your hands flat just below your shoulders and your head bowed. The priest then knows that you are not receiving communion and gives you a blessing instead.
 
PhoenixOfGold said:
I am a former Protestant about to sign up for RCIA with full plans of converting to the Catholic Church. I have only been to one Mass in my life and Communion was a very awkward and embarrassing situation. I know I’m not supposed to take the Eucharist yet, so I didn’t. But when it was time to take Communion, they took everyone row by row and led them to take it, and I seriously think I was the only one in the entire Church who didn’t stand up with the rest of them. It was very awkward being the only person sitting down and having to squeeze my legs in to allow everyone past. Is there some procedure I should be doing here that I’m not getting, or did I handle it right? Should I just stay seated and let people pass, or get up and let everyone pass and then sit back down, or what?

This is also my first post here on the forums, although I’ve been around here as a non-user for quite some time. So thanks!
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Whatever makes it easier I would think. Stand up if a lot of people or stay seated if it’s only a few. You make a spiritual communion as it usually says in the missal (on the inside cover).

My Jesus,
I believe that You
are present in the Most Holy Sacrament.
I love You above all things,
and I desire to receive You into my soul.
Since I cannot at this moment
receive You sacramentally,
come at least spiritually into my heart. I embrace You as if You were already there and unite myself wholly to You. Never permit me to be separated from You.
Amen.

Everyone receives a blessing at the end of the Mass.
 
Fiona_Margaret said:
I don’t know where you are from but in the UK it is customary to go up to communion with everyone else but with your arms crossed across your chest in an X shape with your hands flat just below your shoulders and your head bowed. The priest then knows that you are not receiving communion and gives you a blessing instead.
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Phoenix, Congratulations and please be assured of my prayers. In the Diocese of Charlotte, NC it is also cutomary for everone to go up to communion with those not receiving comunion crossing their arms on their chest in a X shape. The Priest or Extraordinary Minister than knows not to give that person the Eucharist but will make the sign of the cross on their forehead. Best wishes on your journey.
 
Know that you’re not alone in not going up for communion. It might seem like you’re the only one, but there usually are many - honestly, I don’t even notice really how many do or don’t go up (doesn’t much matter to me, really.) And, most Catholics I know, do not judge someone for not going up - they understand there’s some reason, whatever it might be. So, feel free to stay in your pew; very few, if any, notice.
 
Yes, it’s really no big deal, even though it may feel uncomfortable; Catholivs who aren’t prepared to receive will also stay in the pews; be sure to make your spiritual communion 👍
 
I am in the same position as you, OP, and I always go up for a blessing. Our priest says a lovely blessing and makes the sign of the cross above my head (I am short :)).

It is a bit strange when you have been used to taking Communion for years in your childhood church, but it’s not for ever. And I still feel part of it all.
 
Fiona_Margaret said:
I don’t know where you are from but in the UK it is customary to go up to communion with everyone else but with your arms crossed across your chest in an X shape with your hands flat just below your shoulders and your head bowed. The priest then knows that you are not receiving communion and gives you a blessing instead.
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Just make sure that you’re in the priest’s line!🙂
 
I hate being a pew blocker, someone who sits at the end or beginning of a pew, but its to get up out of the way of those going up for communion. Lately I have been getting up with the rest of my pew mates and simply leaving.
 
The custom of going forward with arms crossed for a blessing was introduced, no doubt, by some well-meaning priest as a way for non-Catholics to not feel left out at Communion during a funeral or wedding, but it is not a part of our liturgical tradition. It is very popular, and has even been encouraged by some priests and bishops, but the Church discourages the practice. Since everyone receives a blessing at the end of Mass, it is not appropriate that the priest should give blessings at the time when people are coming forward to receive the Holy Eucharist.
 
OP:

Do not worry, it is not as awkward as one might think. Whenever I have to pass over someone who is not receiving it actually makes me appreciate that person’s respect for the Eucharist. I do not sit in judgement, and rarely do I even give it a passing thought. But if I do think about it, I think about someone who respects the sacrament enough to understand the gravity of it. Catholic or not, I think more of that person than many "c"atholics who just get in line and robotically and almost reluctantly receive our Lord.
 
Cavaille-Coll said:
The custom of going forward with arms crossed for a blessing was introduced, no doubt, by some well-meaning priest as a way for non-Catholics to not feel left out at Communion during a funeral or wedding, but it is not a part of our liturgical tradition. It is very popular, and has even been encouraged by some priests and bishops, but the Church discourages the practice. Since everyone receives a blessing at the end of Mass, it is not appropriate that the priest should give blessings at the time when people are coming forward to receive the Holy Eucharist.
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‘The Church discourages the practice’.

Depends where you live. In the UK, as mentioned in a previous post, quite the reverse. It is actively encouraged, and has been since the Swanwick Conference in the 1970’s.

Not only that, the custom has survived not one but two Papal visits.

I’m inclined to think it would have been corrected by now if Rome has a problem with it.
 
Cavaille-Coll said:
The custom of going forward with arms crossed for a blessing was introduced, no doubt, by some well-meaning priest as a way for non-Catholics to not feel left out at Communion during a funeral or wedding, but it is not a part of our liturgical tradition. It is very popular, and has even been encouraged by some priests and bishops, but the Church discourages the practice. Since everyone receives a blessing at the end of Mass, it is not appropriate that the priest should give blessings at the time when people are coming forward to receive the Holy Eucharist.
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What Paperwright says above - blessings at communion are encouraged in many territories! Indeed, I would go further and say to people “When in Rome, do what the Romans do” And the Bishop of Rome allows blessings too. So it is not appropriate for you to tell our Bishops (and Pope) what you think is appropraite if they have pronounced otherwise.
 
getysbg said:
Just make sure that you’re in the priest’s line!🙂
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Or a Deacon’s line! They can bless you as well. I never did this and would never encourage anyone to do it. Staying seated or kneeling and an Act of Spiritual Communion is the most appropriate. I personally think its ok for children who are preparing for First Holy Communion.

Is there any where in the GIRM that comments on this one way or another? Just curious.
 
I highly recommend not going up for a blessing. On my way into full communion I stayed in the pew and have seen others do so as well. It can be a great witness to the truth of the Real Presence that not everyone just automatically wanders up to receive communion. Those few people (no doubt there ought to be many more) who stay, kneel, and pray show forth that communion is not about “belonging” or “fellowship” but about receiving the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.

As far as whether or not Rome has spoken on the issue of blessings, I’d like to see one side or the other produce a document to back up their assertion that either the Church discourages or encourages the practice, quod gratis asseritur, gratis negatur.
 
jmj777 said:
If I am seated where the reception line begins, I usually stand up and move to the side to allow everyone else to pass to the line. I then return to my kneeling position.

It certainly helps to be seated at the end of the pew (opposite the receiving line). That way you only have to stand once.

I know it may feel awkward, but you’ll get the hang of it. No one will be judging you, either.

+JMJ+
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I have been going for almost 2 years (in RCIA) and this is what i do as well. it took a while but i finally figured out where to sit whereby i only have to stand up and let everyone out, then i can kneel and pray while communion completes.

i was worried about being the only one in the pew as well, but no one is paying attention to whether or not you take communion.
 
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