How do I object to a Catholic Wedding

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ndkos

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I am hesitant to reveal the details on this site, but suffice to say I know someone who should never be married in a Catholic Church. I have informed this person, but they refuse and the wedding is going ahead.

What do I do? I do not even know the parish which the wedding will take place, and by the time I find out, it may be too late.
 
If there is an impediment to the couple contracting a valid marriage (eg. previous marriage that has not been annulled, person is a professed religious or ordained priest under vows of celibacy, man is impotent, couple refuses to have kids at all, coercion), then the priest should absolutely know. If you can’t contact the priest because your friend won’t tell you, all you can do it make one last effort to inform them and encourage them heartily to do the right thing. I would think there is a way to find out who the priest is who is overseeing the wedding, though.

If the people are just not great Catholics, if they want to use birth control, if they are child molesters, if they robbed a bank, the guy’s not a Pope Francis fan, or if they prefer holding hands at the Our Father, then those are not reasons to intervene on the marriage proceeding.
 
Pray with me,

Lord, grant me the strength to change the times I must,
the courage to accept the things I can not,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
Code: 
                  -St. Francis of Assisi
O my Jesus, I trust in you.
Code: 
                  -St. Faustina
Jesus told St. Faustina that one act of trust in Him was more precious, more pleasing than hours and hours of prayer.

Trust that God and the Church know what’s going on.
 
If the people are just not great Catholics, if they want to use birth control, if they are child molesters, if they robbed a bank, the guy’s not a Pope Francis fan, or if they prefer holding hands at the Our Father, then those are not reasons to intervene on the marriage proceeding.

LOL, Windmill! 😃

But yes; I agree. If it’s serious, then you need to try to contact the priest (or, if you don’t know the parish but you do know the diocese, contact them). If you try your best but you end up not being able to, don’t beat yourself up. God knows you tried.👍
 
Windmill said:
If there is an impediment to the couple contracting a valid marriage (eg. previous marriage that has not been annulled, person is a professed religious or ordained priest under vows of celibacy, man is impotent, couple refuses to have kids at all, coercion), then the priest should absolutely know. If you can’t contact the priest because your friend won’t tell you, all you can do it make one last effort to inform them and encourage them heartily to do the right thing. I would think there is a way to find out who the priest is who is overseeing the wedding, though.

If the people are just not great Catholics, if they want to use birth control, if they are child molesters, if they robbed a bank, the guy’s not a Pope Francis fan, or if they prefer holding hands at the Our Father, then those are not reasons to intervene on the marriage proceeding.
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Yes. Unless there is a real impediment, it’s no one else’s business besides the couple and the priest performing the ceremony. Apparently the priest believes they are okay to marry, and that’s really the determining factor.
 
ndkos said:
I am hesitant to reveal the details on this site, but suffice to say I know someone who should never be married in a Catholic Church. I have informed this person, but they refuse and the wedding is going ahead.

What do I do? I do not even know the parish which the wedding will take place, and by the time I find out, it may be too late.
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You don’t know where the wedding is, but you presume to know the intimate details baring this marriage?

I think you should mind your own business.
 
Hoosier_Daddy said:
You don’t know where the wedding is, but you presume to know the intimate details baring this marriage?

I think you should mind your own business.
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You don’t think that the priest should know if one of the people he is about to marry already has a spouse? There was a reason that parishes used to publish banns and encourage people to come forward.
 
ndkos said:
I am hesitant to reveal the details on this site, but suffice to say I know someone who should never be married in a Catholic Church. I have informed this person, but they refuse and the wedding is going ahead.

What do I do? I do not even know the parish which the wedding will take place, and by the time I find out, it may be too late.
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Try to find out what parish the wedding will be held at and, if you find out, call the parish to make an appt. to talk to the priest about your serious concern. Speaking from personal experience, regretably, sometimes no matter how much you try to warn a person of the huge mistake they are about to make the person may have their mind made up.

Do your best but if the wedding still goes through, know in your heart that you did your best and God knows that. Don’t beat yourself up. Trust in God’s love for you that you did your best.

I will keep you in my prayers.
 
Burt_Macklin said:
You don’t think that the priest should know if one of the people he is about to marry already has a spouse? There was a reason that parishes used to publish banns and encourage people to come forward.
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The OP knows that the people married didn’t receive an annulment? The know that the priest has been lied to but they don’t know who the priest is or where the wedding is?

Nope.

Look, I don’t care if the guy was a homosexual engaged in sodomy and the bride to be was on Girls Gone Wild videos, the fact is that the OP has obvious limited intimate knowledge over what has been discussed in marriage prep. The sheer fact that the OP has no idea where or who is marrying them shows a lack of knowledge of intimate details as well as a lack of knowledge of family members and friends. The OPs motive is not the well being of the Church’s sacraments.
 
Burt_Macklin said:
You don’t think that the priest should know if one of the people he is about to marry already has a spouse? There was a reason that parishes used to publish banns and encourage people to come forward.
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This is a good point.

I know of one case where a couple is invalidly married. We did not realize this would be the case until after the wedding occurred because the couple assured us that they were going through the proper channels. I don’t know if this is because the priest didn’t do his job or if they were not entirely truthful (I suspect a bit of both)…

There are situations where a person could know, for certain, that someone cannot be validly married, without being super involved in their lives presently.
 
Those who can contract a valid marriage in the Church without dispensation have a right to do it. When Catholics marry, they have the obligation to marry in the Church. If their diocese gives them a dispensation to marry a non-Catholic who is free to marry, it is no one else’s business.

I agree with the posters who say that you should consider the investigation of the freedom of the couple to marry to be the responsibility of the priest marrying them. If you have not been told by the couple that they are willfully deceiving him, stay out of it.

I would not get involved unless this involved de facto polygamy, such as already being married without a decree of nullity but not disclosing it to the priest because the marriage was not in the Catholic Church. If that is what you mean, then yes, the couple has lied to the priest and you ought to try to let him know. If God did not supply you with any way to do that, then you do not have a responsibility to do the impossible. Pray for them and let it go.
 
Hoosier_Daddy said:
The OP knows that the people married didn’t receive an annulment? The know that the priest has been lied to but they don’t know who the priest is or where the wedding is?

The sheer fact that the OP has no idea where or who is marrying them shows a lack of knowledge of intimate details as well as a lack of knowledge of family members and friends. The OPs motive is not the well being of the Church’s sacraments.
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That’s what I was thinking too.

Unless you were married and divorced from one of them in the past, I question your knowledge of their lives and since you don’t even know where they will be married, you are not even close with them.
 
Hoosier_Daddy said:
You don’t know where the wedding is, but you presume to know the intimate details baring this marriage?

I think you should mind your own business.
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The OP is presumably not a mind reader. If the party you know always travels to visit their fiancé and has not introduced you, they may still air their future business to everyone who works within ten cubicles of them. It would not be at all uncommon to be told intimate details by someone you know who is marrying a Catholic you do not know in another state. For instance, couples in graduate school or starting their first professional position after college have long-distance relationships prior to marriage on a fairly frequent basis.

Let us say this colleague says, “Yes, I was married in my Lutheran church a few years ago, but we got divorced within six months. Bob doesn’t want to wait for the hassle and expense of the Church finding what we already know, so we didn’t tell the priest about it. The priest never has to know and it isn’t going to hurt anybody.” That is a lot of intimate details about a couple you barely know.
 
ndkos said:
I am hesitant to reveal the details on this site, but suffice to say I know someone who should never be married in a Catholic Church. I have informed this person, but they refuse and the wedding is going ahead.

What do I do? I do not even know the parish which the wedding will take place, and by the time I find out, it may be too late.
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Not your problem; do nothing. Well, you could pray for them.
 
EasterJoy said:
The OP is presumably not a mind reader. If the party you know always travels to visit their fiancé and has not introduced you, they may still air their future business to everyone who works within ten cubicles of them. It would not be at all uncommon to be told intimate details by someone you know who is marrying a Catholic you do not know in another state. For instance, couples in graduate school or starting their first professional position after college have long-distance relationships prior to marriage on a fairly frequent basis.

Let us say this colleague says, “Yes, I was married in my Lutheran church a few years ago, but we got divorced within six months. Bob doesn’t want to wait for the hassle and expense of the Church finding what we already know, so we didn’t tell the priest about it. The priest never has to know and it isn’t going to hurt anybody.” That is a lot of intimate details about a couple you barely know.
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Pay attention to the OP. They did not give the reason why. And they said NEVER get married in the Catholic Church. Not, didn’t get an annulment yet. I don’t know why but for some reason I get the feeling that this is a sexuality issue.

Perhaps the OP can clarify the reason they think they know, until then, if they cannot even articulate the reason anonymously on the internet then I doubt there is any real substance here that warrants destroying a wedding day.

You know, I had a past. I had plenty of scored lovers when I got married. I am sure glad one of them didn’t decide to air their perceived objections.

But IF the OP has absolute knowledge. And IF the OP has no way of finding the wedding. Or if the OP does not even know the family or friends names enough to call them up to find out. I suppose the OP could call the Bishop and notify him of the problem. But that sure is a lot of ifs and the OP should probably examine his/herself a little closer. Introspection without emotion should be encouraged.
 
Hoosier_Daddy said:
The OP knows that the people married didn’t receive an annulment? The know that the priest has been lied to but they don’t know who the priest is or where the wedding is?

Nope.
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The OP would presumably know if he received an annulment. And if his wife were attempting to remarry in the church that is something the priest would need to know.
 
Burt_Macklin said:
The OP would presumably know if he received an annulment. And if his wife were attempting to remarry in the church that is something the priest would need to know.
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Normally, yes. But not always. There are rare instances where this may not be the case.

However, I don’t get the sense that is what this concern is about at all. I think there is some character trait of the bride or groom that the OP believes is an impediment to marriage. However, unless it rises to the canonical standard of impediment, it really is none of the OP’s business.

I think he/she should stay out of it.
 
Yeah, I agree that something sounds off.
If it were a cut and dried thing regarding serious impediment the OP would not have to ask. It would just happen.
 
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