How do I phrase this during confession?

[cleofet]

I will be going to confession on Saturday about this, and I would like to know how I should phrase it when I tell my sin to the priest. It is something that is not only embarrasing, but since it deals with a sin that is sexual in nature, I don’t want to scandalize or offend the priest when I am telling him it. Basically, what happened is that my wife and I were engaged in foreplay. She was stimulating me, and I had an orgasm. I didn’t start this activity with the intention of having one, but I did. It wasn’t accidental, either. I could have stopped her before it happened, but I didn’t. How can I tell the priest what happened without scandalizing him? Is there a euphamism for this occurence that I could use?

How about “I did not complete the marriage act with my spouse the proper way”, I believe this tells the Priest what he needs to know. I think this sin happens much more the most people want to say.

 

[whatevergirl]

Well, if he isn’t just having a laugh at everybody’s expense, and he is merely sharing his info… I can only imagine him being prepared and willing to get feedback. Isn’t that what this is for? Honest truth seeking? Or are we just passing the sugar bowl around?

BTW… I think it is a sin or a fault (or something like that) to talk about ones concrete sins (to publicly confess). Does anyone know anything about that?

Hmm…I’m not sure the latter would be a sin…but sharing other’s sins would fall under gossip. Talking about your own sins to gain advice…wouldn’t be. Just my 2 cents…but not entirely sure.

I think in Islam, it’s sinful to share one’s sins openly…

 

[whatevergirl]

what does ‘passing the sugar bowl around’ mean? (candy coating or something?)
I don’t think I have heard that expression.

 

[tomch]

Hope you don’t mind if I piggyback another question to this -

If the OP determines that he needs to go to confession, and the only time to go is Saturday at 4:30… yet he wants to go to daily Mass tomorrow at noon, does he need to skip Daily Mass so as not to partake unworthily? In other words, the next time he can go to Mass in Saturday night AFTER confession, right?

I’m a new Catholic, and this is one of those “confusing areas” for me. On one hand, I think the Lord would want me at Daily Mass, and yet, on the other hand, I don’t want to eat / drink judgment to my soul!

Thanks!

 

[Canadian]

Hmm…I’m not sure the latter would be a sin…but sharing other’s sins would fall under gossip. Talking about your own sins to gain advice…wouldn’t be. Just my 2 cents…but not entirely sure.

I think in Islam, it’s sinful to share one’s sins openly…

Geeezzzzz and now you tell me I’m preaching Islam… Ok… whatever girl (pun unavoidable).

 

[whatevergirl]

Geeezzzzz and now you tell me I’m preaching Islam… Ok… whatever girl (pun unavoidable).

it is a truth in Islam…just saying. I have Muslim friends, and they have often thought that confessing our sins (as Catholics) to even a priest is sinful…they think it should be between God and the person.

so…yes you are preaching Islam, apparently. lol

 

[Canadian]

what does ‘passing the sugar bowl around’ mean? (candy coating or something?)
I don’t think I have heard that expression.

by –Passing the sugar bowl around- I mean are we just BSing each other in order to have warm and fuzzy Care-Bear type conversations … (hey… you asked for the explanation…) lol

 

[whatevergirl]

Hope you don’t mind if I piggyback another question to this -

If the OP determines that he needs to go to confession, and the only time to go is Saturday at 4:30… yet he wants to go to daily Mass tomorrow at noon, does he need to skip Daily Mass so as not to partake unworthily? In other words, the next time he can go to Mass in Saturday night AFTER confession, right?

I’m a new Catholic, and this is one of those “confusing areas” for me. On one hand, I think the Lord would want me at Daily Mass, and yet, on the other hand, I don’t want to eat / drink judgment to my soul!

Thanks!

Welcome to the faith! You could a) find another parish with a more convenient confessional time OR b) go to mass but do not take the Eucharist (this is only of course if you have mortal sin on your soul that you are aware of) Venial sins do not need to be confessed to a priest in order to receive Communion. I go about once a month, to confess venial sins…but this is more to keep my conscience clean…sharp. So…if you have mortal sin on your soul…then, you would need to go to Confession to be absolved…and then you can partake of the Eucharist. Hope this helps.

 

[whatevergirl]

by –Passing the sugar bowl around- I mean are we just BSing each other in order to have warm and fuzzy Care-Bear type conversations … (hey… you asked for the explanation…) lol

ah–ok…I see. Care Bears…aw. I remember them. lol

Ok…g’night for now, Canadian.

 

[baltobetsy]

If the OP determines that he needs to go to confession, and the only time to go is Saturday at 4:30… yet he wants to go to daily Mass tomorrow at noon, does he need to skip Daily Mass so as not to partake unworthily? In other words, the next time he can go to Mass in Saturday night AFTER confession, right?

I’m a new Catholic, and this is one of those “confusing areas” for me. On one hand, I think the Lord would want me at Daily Mass, and yet, on the other hand, I don’t want to eat / drink judgment to my soul!

Hi and welcome!

You seem to be under the impression that you must receive Holy Communion every time you attend Mass. While most people do receive at every Mass, it is quite acceptable not to. Catholics in irregular marriages, in a state of mortal sin, or who have not fasted from food and drink for one hour should not receive Communion, but are certainly welcome (and on Sundays, required) to attend Mass.

So, please attend daily Mass; just stay in your seat when Communion time comes if you are not prepared to receive.

Betsy

 

[Mirror_Mirror]

Let me take that back.

Maybe not “half” - but I see things there that are not sins.

Please do me a favor and go back to the list and tell me what you do not think is a sin? I am genuinely interested.

 

[Mirror_Mirror]

Since there was no intention on either of you’s part to consumate outside your wifes vagina I dont see where there is a sin. I dont think premature ejacualtion is a sin. i

If you look at what the OP posted it says:

awest1:

I didn’t start this activity with the intention of having one, but I did. It wasn’t accidental, either. I could have stopped her before it happened, but I didn’t.

Therefore having said this, that he could have stopped it, that makes this a sinful act. Dare I say a mortal sin that needs to be confessed. And as it has been mentioned several times you can say “impure acts” or “orgasm outside of my wife” but I am pretty sure that the priest has heard much worse than what you are going to confess.

 

[CatholicNick]

Half of these aren’t even sins, let alone “mortal” ones.

Let me take that back.

Maybe not “half” - but I see things there that are not sins.

Everything on the list I quoted IS a Mortal sin/grave matter.

Now, if you were referring to the link I posted to the extremely good examination of conscience, literally half of it are not Mortal Sins…the latter half of that link are Venial Sins/Imperfections.

If you could tell me though, which on the list of Mortal sins breaking the 6th Commandment I quoted are not Mortal sins?

 

[PaixGioiaAmor]

Crossdressing?

Keep in mind that it doesn’t say “crossdressing for the purpose of sexual gratification.” It just says “crossdressing.”

Being weird and countercultural isn’t sin.

 

[LilyM]

Crossdressing?

Keep in mind that it doesn’t say “crossdressing for the purpose of sexual gratification.” It just says “crossdressing.”

Being weird and countercultural isn’t sin.

“A woman must not wear men’s clothing, nor a man wear women’s clothing, for the LORD your God detests anyone who does this.” (Deuteronomy 22:5)

‘Detests’ is a pretty strong word, don’t you think? And it doesn’t say anything about it having to be for sexual gratification to be sinful either.

 

[Digitonomy]

“A woman must not wear men’s clothing, nor a man wear women’s clothing, for the LORD your God detests anyone who does this.” (Deuteronomy 22:5)

‘Detests’ is a pretty strong word, don’t you think? And it doesn’t say anything about it having to be for sexual gratification to be sinful either.

I don’t know that we are still bound by Deuteronomy 22. The same chapter forbids the wearing of fabric containing both wool and linen (11), advises stonings as a good way to purge evil (21,24), and appears to condone what we would today classify as rape (28).

 

[LilyM]

I don’t know that we are still bound by Deuteronomy 22. The same chapter forbids the wearing of fabric containing both wool and linen (11), advises stonings as a good way to purge evil (21,24), and appears to condone what we would today classify as rape (28).

We’re still bound by the Ten Commandments, Chapter 5 of Deuteronomy. Why not at least some provisions of other chapters???

 

[Digitonomy]

We’re still bound by the Ten Commandments, Chapter 5 of Deuteronomy. Why not at least some provisions of other chapters???

This is a sticky question for which I’m not well-versed. However, I think one approach to this issue is to see whether the OT law in question is in some way reiterated in the NT. Definitely, in the case of the 10 Commandments. I’m not so sure about cross-dressing.

 

[bear06]

Crossdressing?

Keep in mind that it doesn’t say “crossdressing for the purpose of sexual gratification.” It just says “crossdressing.”

Being weird and countercultural isn’t sin.

Uh, that’s one not many, a few, etc. Lily covered that one. We aren’t supposed to engage in acts that deny our essence.

 

[LilyM]

This is a sticky question for which I’m not well-versed. However, I think one approach to this issue is to see whether the OT law in question is in some way reiterated in the NT. Definitely, in the case of the 10 Commandments. I’m not so sure about cross-dressing.

Christ reiterates the OT verse ‘He (God) created them male and female’. That in itself tells us to respect gender differences.