How do I respond to the announcement of a marriage of which I cannot approve?

[jean77]

A close family member has recently become engaged after a divorce. There is no annulment. Soon I will be expected to respond to the news. What is an appropriate response to this sensitive issue? This is a very emotionally charged issue in my family since I told her I would not be able to watch her child while she dated. I would like to minimize the drama while still holding true to my values as a Catholic. For me it is not a reason to rejoice or for congratulations. However, I do not know that it is the time for me to try and teach the truth. What can I say?

 

[Michelle_Arnold]

For me it is not a reason to rejoice or for congratulations. However, I do not know that it is the time for me to try and teach the truth. What can I say?

“I love you.”

This can be put in a letter in which you let this relative know that you have received her announcement and offer to her your love and prayers. If it seems necessary to do so to avoid “drama,” you can refrain from mentioning to her the content of your prayers for her (e.g., repentance, conversion, regularization of her marriage). Presumably this relative is mature enough not to expect more from someone who has already made clear her disapproval of the remarriage without an annulment, but if she challenges you on why you do not congratulate her, you may say quietly, “You know I cannot approve.”