How do I stay faithful in times like this?

[ninfeabella]

I hope that this doesnt come off bad or anything, it is honestly something I have been struggling with for some time and I’m about to break because of it, it feels.

I’m a girl in highschool. Always have been the “quiet, nice, and smart” girl. I would love to talk to people, but I’m really shy and it’s hard for me to initiate/keep up a conversation. I also just have a fear the people I talk to I annoy or just irritate. I want to get a close group of friends and be more talkative, but it simply doesn’t work for me.

I also feel like I trust people too much. This one girl I tried being friends with always claimed she never got my texts, but she magically got them whenever I replied with homework help she asked for. That just made me feel taken advantage of, even though I see her being nice to many people, and just wanted to be her friend.

Also, the other people I’m friend with seem to never try to make contact with me out of school. Sometimes I will talk with them for a little but the conversation dies off.

On top of feeling disliked by people at school, I’m extremely stressed, I’ve had hive for some unknown reason for almost 2 weeks, and I’m just not happy with how quiet I am.

In the end I know God has a plan for me, but I feel like none of my prayers are being heard. It just feels like I will be spending the rest of my time on Earth alone, minus my family, of course. I am extremely thankful for them, but I’m tired of being shy or just being used. I never know what people think about me, and if I should continue trying to be their friend or not.

I’m just having a tough time relying on God and not worrying so much right now. I don’t know what I should do, because nothing seems like it’s going right. I just want to be a good Christian and a good friend.

 

[Marie1234]

To me, you seem like a very sweet girl and anyone would be lucky to have you as a friend.:yup:

When I was younger, I was a little shy. But I grew out of it as I got into adolescence, so I know how it can be to be thy shy, smart, sweet girl. Now I’m actually quite outgoing and maybe too outspoken at times.

It could be a phase for you like it was for me. Try to get just one friend whom you trust and really like and spend time with him/ her at first. Don’t try too hard to befriend someone, just let it happen naturally. Eventually you may become more outspoken and others will notice. Don’t worry about annoying people. People generally like really talkative people. Being outgoing is kind of a magnetic quality. Just make sure what you’re saying isn’t rude or offensive and you shouldn’t be irritating anyone.

Hang in there. High school can be rough. Maybe try to join some clubs or teams and meet friends through there. Perhaps a church group?

And I just sent you a friend request I’m here if you ever need to talk or get some advice!

God Bless you sweetie!

 

[sacred_words]

Oh, boy. I understand how that feels in spades. I definitely know how upsetting it is to have people come around when they want something, then ignore you the rest of the time. I figure if they only want you around so you can basically do their homework for them, then they’re not really people you wanna talk to anyway.

Maybe you could try your luck at finding some friends outside of school? Just an idea i thought i’d throw out there. If nothing else, the door’s open here. PM me, i’m happy to lend an ear.

 

[Lancer]

You are OK…you just need knowledge and assurance of who you really are in God’s eyes…and then seek his will in your life. Its not magic…simply knowledge…through the graces of the Holy Spirit…and here is a really great book to help you (below).

One of my daughters is/was like you…now she works for a resort hotel and she loves her interaction with all the guests…especially all the international guests…and she gets incredible compliments from them all. Another key for her…her spiritual life…she really increased her knowledge of her Catholic faith…the “what and why”…teachings of the Church…reading the bible as prayer and meditation…and Catechism classes. Also, her Church friends have really become her social family, friends and network…the fellowship and ability to be open and secure with them really was key…but most importantly…number one…a faithful daily prayer life…a vibrant mother-daughter relationship with the Blessed Virgin Mary…in/through praying rosary several times a week…and the key…Mass and Holy Communion every Sunday…a very real relationship with Our Lord Jesus.

Hope this is somewhat helpful…all for your consideration.

Pax Christi

***The Temperament God Gave You: The Classic Key to Knowing Yourself, Getting Along with Others, and Growing Closer to the Lord ***[Paperback]
Art Bennett (Author), Laraine Bennett (Author)

Art Bennett is a licensed marriage and family therapist with twenty years’ experience in the field. He currently serves as president of Catholic Charities in the Diocese of Arlington, and he writes a monthly column for the National Catholic Register. Art’s wife, Laraine, is a freelance writer whose articles appear in Catholic journals.
​

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Book Description
Publication Date: June 15, 2005
Unlock the secret of your personality and learn how to be a better spouse, parent, friend, & Christian!

All of us are born with distinct personality traits. Some of us live for crowds and parties; others seek solitude and time for quiet reflection. Some of us are naturally pushy, while others are content just to get along. We don’t pick and choose these traits; they’re just part of the way we’re made.

For in the womb God doesn’t merely mold our body; He also gives us the temperament that, all our days, colors our understanding, guides our choices, and serves as the foundation of our moral and spiritual life.

Ancient philosophers identified four basic temperaments, and over the centuries, countless wise souls have used these four to understand human nature. Now comes The Temperament God Gave You, the first Catholic book on the subject in 70 years. Here veteran Catholic counselor Art Bennett and his wife Laraine provide an accessible synthesis of classical wisdom, modern counseling science, and Catholic spirituality: a rich understanding of the temperaments and what they mean for you and for your family.

Drawing on decades of study, prayer, and practical experience, Art and Laraine show you how to identify your own temperament and use it to become what God is calling you to be: a loving spouse, an effective parent, and a good friend. Best of all, they give you a Catholic understanding of the four temperaments that will bring you closer to God and help you discover the path to holiness that’s right for you.

Peace. Happiness. Holiness.

You’ll find yourself growing in each of these qualities as you come to understand–and learn to use as you should–the temperament God gave you.

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[dedo]

I have always been quiet as well.

What worked for me when I was in high school was to join group sports even though I was not a natural athlete.

Many people who don’t fit in other sports enjoy martial arts. They can be a big confidence booster, and also are a way to meet people.

Also, guys tend to be fascinated with girls who can kick some ____.

Good luck.

 

[FaithInTheSon]

I know this is gonna sound preachy and if I was a high schooler I would have believed it but it wouldn’t really HIT me. God’s will is always done but it is done especially gracefully when you pray for it to be done. Remember that most Christians out there are not in a state of true belief and a fellow Christian can even lead you astray.

If the girl takes advantage of you do you want to be her friend?
If the people, who are sinners themselves, judge you…do you care what their judgment of you is? I promise God does not.
If they will not accept you for who you are and need you to change to “fit in”…do you really want to fit in?

I know how bad it feels like you need friends in school… The way society models how a high schooler should be only makes it 10x worse. The truth is you don’t need friends if they judge you every time you turn around. You are better without them.

I know it’s easy for me to just say that to you but believe me I know what it is like to live without that many real friends coming my way. It was a major part of my test in life. In the end you will be stronger for it and realize that you didn’t really want to be friends with them anyways.

Remember that most of the teens in a high school are influenced by demons these days. Anyone who says different is fooling themselves. If anyone gets mad at me for saying this I don’t care you should do unto others as you would have others do unto you; I wish someone would have done a better job warning me. The Lord will see every time you resist and you cannot imagine how well he rewards those who resist. Just try not to go crazy in the meantime and remember that this life is temporary.
The demons are very real and their influence is subtle… except for the dumb ones that lack strategy and just manifest lol those ones use cheap scare tactics as a last ditch effort. They are here to test you. You were given dominion over them through the Christ who is ALWAYS with you and decides how far the demons can go so do not be afraid it is not like the movies. If they do their job right you never know they were there. Their goal is to inspire FEAR, HATE, AND PRIDE.

You talk of fears…remember to only fear the Lord. The judgment of those around you is nowhere near a valid judgment so do not allow it to affect you. I know that is easier said than done.

If a blind man leads another blind man into a pit they both fall in. Our Lord taught us that. Most of the teachers and students around you are completely blind trust only in the lord question everything they tell you. If God didn’t say it it is totally up for debate.

 

[Linusthe2nd]

I hope that this doesnt come off bad or anything, it is honestly something I have been struggling with for some time and I’m about to break because of it, it feels.

I’m a girl in highschool. Always have been the “quiet, nice, and smart” girl. I would love to talk to people, but I’m really shy and it’s hard for me to initiate/keep up a conversation. I also just have a fear the people I talk to I annoy or just irritate. I want to get a close group of friends and be more talkative, but it simply doesn’t work for me.

I also feel like I trust people too much. This one girl I tried being friends with always claimed she never got my texts, but she magically got them whenever I replied with homework help she asked for. That just made me feel taken advantage of, even though I see her being nice to many people, and just wanted to be her friend.

Also, the other people I’m friend with seem to never try to make contact with me out of school. Sometimes I will talk with them for a little but the conversation dies off.

On top of feeling disliked by people at school, I’m extremely stressed, I’ve had hive for some unknown reason for almost 2 weeks, and I’m just not happy with how quiet I am.

In the end I know God has a plan for me, but I feel like none of my prayers are being heard. It just feels like I will be spending the rest of my time on Earth alone, minus my family, of course. I am extremely thankful for them, but I’m tired of being shy or just being used. I never know what people think about me, and if I should continue trying to be their friend or not.

I’m just having a tough time relying on God and not worrying so much right now. I don’t know what I should do, because nothing seems like it’s going right. I just want to be a good Christian and a good friend.

You will make friends, just be patient. In the meantime get close to God, he can fill up that vacant place.

 

[1_with_God]

God loves a silent soul! As St. Francis said…“My God, My All”. You are never alone, your guardian angel is with you always, Jesus is as close as a whispered prayer.

As has been stated by others: joining a group is a good place to start. Have a positive attitude and good things will happen. Trust in Lord and let His will be done.

 

[bunnykisses88]

I hope that this doesnt come off bad or anything, it is honestly something I have been struggling with for some time and I’m about to break because of it, it feels.

I’m a girl in highschool. Always have been the “quiet, nice, and smart” girl. I would love to talk to people, but I’m really shy and it’s hard for me to initiate/keep up a conversation. I also just have a fear the people I talk to I annoy or just irritate. I want to get a close group of friends and be more talkative, but it simply doesn’t work for me.

I also feel like I trust people too much. This one girl I tried being friends with always claimed she never got my texts, but she magically got them whenever I replied with homework help she asked for. That just made me feel taken advantage of, even though I see her being nice to many people, and just wanted to be her friend.

Also, the other people I’m friend with seem to never try to make contact with me out of school. Sometimes I will talk with them for a little but the conversation dies off.

On top of feeling disliked by people at school, I’m extremely stressed, I’ve had hive for some unknown reason for almost 2 weeks, and I’m just not happy with how quiet I am.

In the end I know God has a plan for me, but I feel like none of my prayers are being heard. It just feels like I will be spending the rest of my time on Earth alone, minus my family, of course. I am extremely thankful for them, but I’m tired of being shy or just being used. I never know what people think about me, and if I should continue trying to be their friend or not.

I’m just having a tough time relying on God and not worrying so much right now. I don’t know what I should do, because nothing seems like it’s going right. I just want to be a good Christian and a good friend.

you sound like me OP. hmm I still have trouble conversing with others sorry… and I always just had one good friend to talk to. I always stayed in orchestra. being with people made me happy even though I still wound up all quiet and to myself…
God blessed me with a bf after high school and I’ve been happy to not be so lonely. We are married now and I’m a happy wife.
so I can say that good things are coming down the road so just be the best you can be and try not to stress.
I know that is hard! I’m always stressed out because I worry too much…but every time my worries were for naught. everything will be fine just pray and take it day by day.
being quiet isn’t so bad sometimes… you can hear things others miss.
my hubby is more quiet than I am but together we can talk for hours.
you’ll find someone or some friends to connect with just stay open and be yourself.

 

[bunnykisses88]

You are OK…you just need knowledge and assurance of who you really are in God’s eyes…and then seek his will in your life. Its not magic…simply knowledge…through the graces of the Holy Spirit…and here is a really great book to help you (below).

One of my daughters is/was like you…now she works for a resort hotel and she loves her interaction with all the guests…especially all the international guests…and she gets incredible compliments from them all. Another key for her…her spiritual life…she really increased her knowledge of her Catholic faith…the “what and why”…teachings of the Church…reading the bible as prayer and meditation…and Catechism classes. Also, her Church friends have really become her social family, friends and network…the fellowship and ability to be open and secure with them really was key…but most importantly…number one…a faithful daily prayer life…a vibrant mother-daughter relationship with the Blessed Virgin Mary…in/through praying rosary several times a week…and the key…Mass and Holy Communion every Sunday…a very real relationship with Our Lord Jesus.

Hope this is somewhat helpful…all for your consideration.

Pax Christi

​

amazon.com/Temperament-God-Gave-You-Yourself/dp/1933184027

I’m going to look into this myself, thanks!

 

[ninfeabella]

you sound like me OP. hmm I still have trouble conversing with others sorry… and I always just had one good friend to talk to. I always stayed in orchestra. being with people made me happy even though I still wound up all quiet and to myself…
God blessed me with a bf after high school and I’ve been happy to not be so lonely. We are married now and I’m a happy wife.
so I can say that good things are coming down the road so just be the best you can be and try not to stress.
I know that is hard! I’m always stressed out because I worry too much…but every time my worries were for naught. everything will be fine just pray and take it day by day.
being quiet isn’t so bad sometimes… you can hear things others miss.
my hubby is more quiet than I am but together we can talk for hours.
you’ll find someone or some friends to connect with just stay open and be yourself.

Just looked back on this thread; I’ve been feeling down again.

I’m actually in orchestra as well

My band and orchestra friends are the ones I can count on most it seems. The others are nice but they seem like backstabbers to me.

I’m learning to accept that I can’t and probably won’t ever have tons of friends, and being at my school doesn’t exactly help.

I think the hardest part for me to grasp is how people can be so rude and dislike others who do nothing to them. I’m a pretty skeptical person, but I always assume people are going to treat me the way I treat them, and especially at a school like mine, that just doesn’t happen.

I’m praying I’ll end up with a few more friends than I have right now and that I will understand God has a plan for me soon.

I just wish my school had more faithful people. I’m scared for my generation to grow up…

Sick of people being rude

Thank you everyone for posting It means a lot to me, I’ll always have this to look back on when I get sad again