How do I stop looking at porn?

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akiharu

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So this is a bit embarrassing to write, but I’ve been trying for years now. No matter what I do I always end up looking at porn or masturbating again. Sometimes I manage to not do it for 1-2 months, but it always happens again. I always think that this time I’ll manage to resist and I always go to confession as soon as possible after it, but as I said, I always do it again, it’s like I can’t help it and I always regret it immensly immediately afterwards. Usually after confession I have at least 1 week where I don’t feel tempted to do it, but then the temptation always returns and even if I manage to resist it at the moment I eventually fall for it.

Is it a mortal sin? Does anyone have any tips on how I can stop? I’d of course be happy for prayers
 
Are you single out in a relationship? Do you live alone?

So I’ll let the others come in on the more spiritual aspects, but here’s my advice. Consider moving the computer to a shared area where it’s possible someone might see what you’re browsing.

Also, consider restricting your computer from those sites. I recommend using a DNS that attempts to filter out those sites. A DNS is a system that converts website names (catholic.com) to network addresses (104.24.19.26). If a site doesn’t exist in the DNS then you can’t visit the site (more or less). Setup is not too difficult and requires no software. Perhaps you can search for one.

For your phone, check if your cell company offers parental controls.

Hope that helps.
 
Simple solutions I have heard include putting up a religious picture or prayer near where you are tempted to access it. Perhaps setting your computer or a phone background to an image of Mary might help.

Although I have never suffered from porn addiction, I do know what it’s like to deal with compulsive behavior. One thing that was helpful for me was learning that by the time I gave in, my brain was already priming me to give in. To avoid that, I had to put lots of “stops” in that prevented me from going on autopilot (so, common area, image designed to get you to think, blockers, an accountability partner) AND I had to work on and avoid known triggers. “HALT” is a big one in addiction literature (being hungry, angry, lonely, or tired makes you more prone to give in when tempted.) Finding healthier coping behaviors (exercise, prayer, calling a friend) will help too.

I hope this is helpful!! One good thing is that as you practice chastity you will become stronger.
 
Praying to the Holy Spirit to give you guidance, direction, strength, fortitude & wisdom to overcome your temptations.
 
akiharu said:
So this is a bit embarrassing to write, but I’ve been trying for years now. No matter what I do I always end up looking at porn or masturbating again. Sometimes I manage to not do it for 1-2 months, but it always happens again. I always think that this time I’ll manage to resist and I always go to confession as soon as possible after it, but as I said, I always do it again, it’s like I can’t help it and I always regret it immensly immediately afterwards. Usually after confession I have at least 1 week where I don’t feel tempted to do it, but then the temptation always returns and even if I manage to resist it at the moment I eventually fall for it.

Is it a mortal sin? Does anyone have any tips on how I can stop? I’d of course be happy for prayers
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In addition to what the other posters mentioned (moving the computer to a common area, and lots of prayer), you could download the Covenant Eyes software that Catholic Answers advertises. It shows a third party user all of the websites you visit.
 
Do you only go to confession when you slip up?
If yes, try going more often, as regularly as possible.
 
Along with all of the previous posts, along with frequent Confession, praying the rosary daily, and I mean DAILY! Is an extreme help. The scapular also helps as well.
The hardest part is getting your mind off the near occasions of sin, aka getting baited into pornography. Go for a run, get your mind off your human desires.
 
akiharu said:
So this is a bit embarrassing to write, but I’ve been trying for years now. No matter what I do I always end up looking at porn or masturbating again. Sometimes I manage to not do it for 1-2 months, but it always happens again. I always think that this time I’ll manage to resist and I always go to confession as soon as possible after it, but as I said, I always do it again, it’s like I can’t help it and I always regret it immensly immediately afterwards. Usually after confession I have at least 1 week where I don’t feel tempted to do it, but then the temptation always returns and even if I manage to resist it at the moment I eventually fall for it.

Is it a mortal sin? Does anyone have any tips on how I can stop? I’d of course be happy for prayers
Click to expand...
Seek a spiritual director that you have to be accountable to. Your problem is that serious and I do not say that judgmentally because I had the same problem’s only a few years ago except I was not Catholic yet. It starts in your mind. Fight of impure thoughts. DO NOT dwell on them. When you do not want to have those thoughts in your mind, you do not get turned on and desire to masturbate. That is the only real way I can tell you how I stopped. Hanging a picture of Mary up did not work for me. Neither did remembering women are not objects for my pleasure but human beings. I know that is true but it is hard to sympathize when we have that desire in us. It is now barely starting to kick in that women should not be treated that way even if they are allowing it, but it took years to get to this point. And I am still not completely there lol. I decided to stop dwelling on impure thoughts. The first few weeks at least I use to literally shake my head everytime I got a impure thought as if someone hit me upside the head and I was shaking the pain away or something. I must have looked comical but now I do not even have to do that. It gets easier with time to fight off impure thought. When you do not want to get aroused, you do not dwell on them. YOU dwell on them because you want to. When you no longer want to, you will stop.

It starts in the mind. Keep a clean mind. Do not watch TV that you know will show women dressed immodestly. Only watch DVDs that are clean or at least where you know the bad parts are. Can you get rid of your computer if you have to? But seek out a spiritual director asap. Get some help if you still cannot do this alone. God bless.
 
pensmama87 said:
Although I have never suffered from porn addiction, I do know what it’s like to deal with compulsive behavior. One thing that was helpful for me was learning that by the time I gave in, my brain was already priming me to give in. To avoid that, I had to put lots of “stops” in that prevented me from going on autopilot (so, common area, image designed to get you to think, blockers, an accountability partner)
Click to expand...
Hey I think I remember reading this out of a psychology book a number of years ago. I believe these are called Pattern Breaks. They’re really useful actually, especially if you tend to be a more hands on kind of person.
pensmama87 said:
AND I had to work on and avoid known triggers. “HALT” is a big one in addiction literature (being hungry, angry, lonely, or tired makes you more prone to give in when tempted.)
Click to expand...
Hmm, I did not know this. Interesting.
 
Having the humility to post on here about your problem is a great start!

I was being spiritually attacked by very disgusting pornographic images in my mind for a while and nothing seemed to make them go away until I was anointed by a priest. It was amazing! They just stopped and haven’t come back!

There is a group on here for those with similar problems that you can join and get more support and ideas as well.

The main thing is to never become discouraged. Discouragement always comes from Satan. Just keep getting back up and finish the race.

Jesus is only to happy to receive you time and time again and is pleased to see that you are humble enough to continue to struggle and not give up!

Praying for your recovery:

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary,
that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection,
implored your help, or sought your intercession,
was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence,
I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother.
To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful.
O Mother of the Word Incarnate,
despise not my petitions,
but in your mercy, hear and answer me.
Amen.
 
Matt Fradd at Catholic Answers has some good information to obtain help.

mlz
 
Praying for you

Our Father who art in heaven
Hallowed be thy name
Thy kingdom come
Thy will be done
On earth as it is in heaven
Give us this day our daily bread
Forgive us our trespasses
As we forgive those who trespass against us
Lead us not into temptation
But deliver us from evil
Amen

Hail Mary full of Grace
The Lord is with you
blessed art thou amongst women
Blessed is the fruit of your womb, Jesus
Holy Mary mother of God
Pray for us sinners
Now and in the hour of our death amen
 
First, cut off the source of external filth entering your head. Focus on cutting Porn completely out, even if other habits cannot be kicked.

Porn is one of the most silent and dangerous “drugs” in our world today. Graphic sexual imagery can change your brain chemistry, and their can even be withdrawal symptoms when cutting it out. Exercise and other healthy activities can help by boosting mood and providing an alternative. If you experience excessive stress, anxiety or other symptoms, speak with a doctor or therapist.
 
akiharu said:
So this is a bit embarrassing to write, but I’ve been trying for years now. No matter what I do I always end up looking at porn or masturbating again. Sometimes I manage to not do it for 1-2 months, but it always happens again. I always think that this time I’ll manage to resist and I always go to confession as soon as possible after it, but as I said, I always do it again, it’s like I can’t help it and I always regret it immensly immediately afterwards. Usually after confession I have at least 1 week where I don’t feel tempted to do it, but then the temptation always returns and even if I manage to resist it at the moment I eventually fall for it.

Is it a mortal sin? Does anyone have any tips on how I can stop? I’d of course be happy for prayers
Click to expand...
Just stop.
That sounds sarcastic but it isn’t. Unplug, pray when you feel the urge. Exercise your will man!
 
A rather smart priest I know suggested the following about any sort of impurity-type sins.
  1. As soon as the thought pops into your head, say “Jesus, Mary, Joseph and St. Maria Goretti, help me! Precious Blood of Jesus, wash over me.”
  2. Stand up, and walk away. Immediately. Doesn’t matter where you were in the first place or where you go (though the local strip club is probably a bad idea 😛 ). Physically move away from where you were.
  3. Impurity-type sins have to do with pleasure, pleasure which is appropriate and good in some situations (marital sex) but not in others. So, deliberately substitute another pleasure for it, one that doesn’t involve sin. Think about your favorite sport. Pick up an interesting book. Fill out a football bracket. Whatever. 😛 If you enjoy it and it’s not sinful, imagine it or do it!
  4. In general, eliminate sources for this sort of thing in your life. Use blocking/filtering software. Don’t go to places where you can reasonably expect to be troubled by it. (See above: strip clubs=bad idea.)
  5. Every morning and night, say 3 Hail Marys for the grace of chastity.
  6. Frequent the sacraments. Go to Confession every two weeks, at least: if the Popes can do it that often, it won’t hurt you either. It helps you stay accountable, especially if you go to the same confessor routinely.
  7. Get used to denying yourself small things. Nothing major, and nothing that will cause you injury! Think making the last 30 seconds of your shower really cold; seasoning a bite or two of food in a way you don’t like and eating it that way; choosing something you’d like to order at a restaurant and ordering something else instead; fasting for an afternoon; that sort of thing. Offer these things up for chastity, but also know that in doing them, you’re increasing your self-control over your mind and body, which is a very good thing when dealing with porn and impurity in general.
  8. Lastly, stay generally busy. Don’t sit at home behind the screen for hours at a time. Get out. Make friends. Take a class. Work a bit of overtime. Learn to cook/weld/repair plumbing/bowl/sing/run a half-marathon/whatever appeals to you. Those are all valuable skills of one sort or another, they get you out of the house (and away from the computer screen), and once you get home, you’re far more likely to eat dinner, read/watch the game/whatever, and then go to bed. You simply won’t have as much time to get into trouble, plus you’ll have another interesting skill set, which is always a plus.
 
Great answers throughout this thread. I can add one that hasn’t been mentioned. OP, you didn’t say what your relationship status is but I recommend that, depending on the circumstances, you consider telling your wife/girlfriend.

When I was struggling with this many years ago, I told my wife (then-fiance). It was brutally hard to do and it was difficult for her to come to grips with, but having her know about it added an immense amount of accountability for me and played a big role in me leaving it behind forever.

It can be defeated! Keep going to confession. That’s the #1 key thing.
 
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