How do I tell my father that I can't attend his wedding?

[wanner47]

Some rather sad hilarity for the day…

My father has spent the entire morning digging up links and articles from non-Catholic and anti-Catholic sites against the Church’s stance on divorce, remarriage and annulments, and e-mailing them to me and my family members.

One of the quotes he sent me was this (no source, so I have no idea where he got it from:

The Roman Catholic Church’s practice of annulment is not Biblical. It is founded on an unbiblical concept, that of the sacraments conferring grace. It is essentially an “escape” from what the Bible defines as a marriage. It ignores what the Bible does say about marriage, divorce, and adultery. Essentially, the Catholic practice of marriage annulment is an unbiblical way to escape from a doctrine that is itself unbiblical.

So, Catholic annulments are an “escape” from what the Bible teaches about remariage… and the Bible teaches that remarriage after divorce is adultery. So basically, if my dad believes the claptrap he’s been sending me, he should also believe that his upcoming marriage means he’ll be living in adultery.

Oddly, he chose to ignore that point.

 

[estesbob]

Some rather sad hilarity for the day…

My father has spent the entire morning digging up links and articles from non-Catholic and anti-Catholic sites against the Church’s stance on divorce, remarriage and annulments, and e-mailing them to me and my family members.

One of the quotes he sent me was this (no source, so I have no idea where he got it from:

So, Catholic annulments are an “escape” from what the Bible teaches about remariage… and the Bible teaches that remarriage after divorce is adultery. So basically, if my dad believes the claptrap he’s been sending me, he should also believe that his upcoming marriage means he’ll be living in adultery.

Oddly, he chose to ignore that point.

At this point one has to wonder whether he is trying to prove to you that his marriage will be valid or is trying to prove it to himself.

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

It would be funny if it weren’t so sad, you are right.

Another hug for the day…:grouphug:

 

[wanner47]

My dad called the police and reported that we were abusing our daughter. The police seemed to have a good idea that the complaint shouldn’t be taken seriously, but they were obligated to come and check things out anyway. Obviously, they took a quick look around and determined that we weren’t abusing or neglecting our daughter.

Sadly, this is not the first time he’s done this.

So for the foreseeable future, he’s not welcome in our home, or welcome to any contact with our daughter until he chooses to apologize for his actions.

This makes me so sad, but I can’t accept his petty revenge tactics anymore. If he chooses to act that way, then he’s made the choice not to see his granddaughter.

 

[Duffyo7]

My dad called the police and reported that we were abusing our daughter. The police seemed to have a good idea that the complaint shouldn’t be taken seriously, but they were obligated to come and check things out anyway. Obviously, they took a quick look around and determined that we weren’t abusing or neglecting our daughter.

Sadly, this is not the first time he’s done this.

So for the foreseeable future, he’s not welcome in our home, or welcome to any contact with our daughter until he chooses to apologize for his actions.

This makes me so sad, but I can’t accept his petty revenge tactics anymore. If he chooses to act that way, then he’s made the choice not to see his granddaughter.

Praying. Sounds like you are definitely between a rock and a hard place. I would not let him see her either.

 

[catholicsem]

You certainly have my prayers. I applaud your strength and courage throughout this whole situation. You are an amazing woman for keeping faith and I envy your fortitude.

 

[dessert]

My dad called the police and reported that we were abusing our daughter. The police seemed to have a good idea that the complaint shouldn’t be taken seriously, but they were obligated to come and check things out anyway. Obviously, they took a quick look around and determined that we weren’t abusing or neglecting our daughter.

Sadly, this is not the first time he’s done this.

So for the foreseeable future, he’s not welcome in our home, or welcome to any contact with our daughter until he chooses to apologize for his actions.

This makes me so sad, but I can’t accept his petty revenge tactics anymore. If he chooses to act that way, then he’s made the choice not to see his granddaughter.

Honey I think your dad is losing it sense of rationality reality.
I have gone through the same thing with my dad diff matters, we think it flipped him into a dementia sort of state, I had to go to my dad’s doc and there was not much we could do but wait him out.
Pray for you now Love D.

 

[Seatuck]

I’m sitting here feeling so sorry for your father. I just can’t help it!

You are judging him and his wife to be. Let me explain…

I have just converted to the Catholic Church (Easter 2007) I have been married 3 times. The last time was to a divorced Catholic man. (Hence the reason I became interested in the Catholic faith).

When I was considering joining the Catholic Church, I went and talked to our priest. We talked in detail for several hours.

My husband did not need an annulment! (Although he was married in the Catholic Church, and he was a Baptised Catholic, his wife was not! She made some commitments that she failed to follow through with) I did not need an annulment! (I had been raised in a Christian church AOG and had never been baptised).

Our marriage will be blessed this year by our priest!

Your father should have you as his support. Why would he ever want to change his ways to be more like someone who shuns him?

My heart tells me that you could possibly be jealous of this new woman. Especially since you don’t really know her.

Did you attend the wedding of your Mother and her husband?

Remember the most important thing… Don’t judge, lest ye be judged! Honor thy Father and Mother! We are all sinners and have come short of the Glory of God! Ye with out sin cast the first stone!

I’m going to pray for your fathers heart… I’m sure it is broken. Threads like this one do keep many people from wanting to become Catholic!

If your Mother left your father years ago, what makes you think that their marriage was ever of GOD? Could it not have been an unjust marriage?

Think about this… Have you ever voted in an election? Did you agree 100% with the christian views of the person you voted for? Probably not… you went to the polls anyway…didn’t you?

I think there is some mistake . I think you should go talk to your priest again about your marriages. There certainly should be some paperwork filed regarding them. Please call the Diocese marriage tribunal to check. The situations you describe certainly look like marriages that need to be examined.

 

[wanner47]

The plot thickens… I e-mailed my brother and sister to give them a heads up about what happened, and my sister replied and said SHE was the one who had called the police.

I am beyond baffled. I can’t even remember the last time my sister was at our home. Why would she think it was unsuitable for my daughter? What have I done/said that would make her think I was abusing my daughter?

My best guess is that my father has told her horrendous lies about the condition of our home, the treatment of our daughter, etc. and she believed them. Why, I don’t know, because she should know by now not to trust anything he says firsthand.

I’ve asked her for her reasons as to why she thought it was necessary to call the police without even expressing her concerns to me first.

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

The plot thickens… I e-mailed my brother and sister to give them a heads up about what happened, and my sister replied and said SHE was the one who had called the police.

I am beyond baffled. I can’t even remember the last time my sister was at our home. Why would she think it was unsuitable for my daughter? What have I done/said that would make her think I was abusing my daughter?

My best guess is that my father has told her horrendous lies about the condition of our home, the treatment of our daughter, etc. and she believed them. Why, I don’t know, because she should know by now not to trust anything he says firsthand.

I’ve asked her for her reasons as to why she thought it was necessary to call the police without even expressing her concerns to me first.

If the police said this was unfounded (which is the term here in Illinois), you need to take some STRONG action now!!!

I don’t know about where you live, but in Illinois, a false report of child abuse is prosecutable. They are also harassing you to the point you can’t get work done, and the peace in your home is disturbed.

1.) I would get whatever emergency order of protection or restraining order was necessary, if for no other reason than to document what has happened to you. This can usually be gotten at the county level for free or real cheap.
2.) I’d block my email from those from whom I didn’t wish to receive email, using a “rule” to send it to a folder where I had it in case I needed it as evidence; otherwise, I’d never have to look at it.
3.) I’d block phone numbers if that’s possible where you live.
4.) I would also seriously consider changing phone numbers and email addresses, at least temporarily. Usually, 6-10 email addresses are given an account from an ISP. Another option is a phone trap.
5.) I would think about paying a visit to my states attorney’s or district attorney’s office.

I am praying right now for your safety, and continue to pray for you and yours.