I am not catholic. My husband is. I have been trying to decide whether or not I want to become catholic for nearly 5 years. It is always situations like this that make me shy away from the catholic religion right when I am about to commit. I am not catholic but I am a CHRISTIAN. I find it hard to believe that God would want you to miss your father’s wedding.
That’s the problem. It may be a “wedding” in the secular sense of the word, but it is NOT a marriage according to the teachings of Jesus.
The Bible says:
"Some Pharisees approached him, and tested him, saying, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause whatever?”
He said in reply, “Have you not read that from the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female’ and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. **Therefore, what God has joined together, no human being must separate.” **
They said to him, “Then why did Moses command that the man give the woman a bill of divorce and dismiss (her)?”
He said to them, “Because of the hardness of your hearts Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.
I say to you, whoever divorces his wife (unless the marriage is unlawful) and marries another commits adultery.”
[His] disciples said to him, “If that is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.”
He answered, “Not all can accept [this] word, but only those to whom that is granted. Some are incapable of marriage because they were born so; some, because they were made so by others; some, because they have renounced marriage for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Whoever can accept this ought to accept it.” (Matthew 19:3-12)
The CCC (Catechism of the Catholic Church) says: "In his preaching Jesus unequivocally taught the original meaning of the union of man and woman as the Creator willed it from the beginning permission given by Moses to divorce one’s wife was a concession to the hardness of hearts. The matrimonial union of man and woman is indissoluble: God himself has determined it “what therefore God has joined together, let no man put asunder.” (paragraph 1614)
It seems a little self righteous to even consider not going. Whatever happened to love your neighbor as yourself. The Bible does not say love your neighbor as yourself unless they are sinners or have an invalid marriage.
But is the definition of “loving your neighbor” mean “condoning and celebrating the sin of your neighbor?” I think Jesus made it quite clear that it was not.
One of God’s commandments also says to honor thy mother and thy father. How would not going to his wedding be honoring him. You don’t have to agree with what he is doing. You can even tell him your feelings, but to not go b/c of a question of its validity is absurd. It is not your job to judge whether what they are doing is right or wrong. God will take care of that later.
Yes, my dad already brought up the fourth commandment. However, the GREATEST commandment, according to Jesus, is “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind.” If I am forced to choose between following the teachings of Christ or “honoring” my father, I am obligated, as a Christian, to follow Christ first.
Moreover, it is not “honoring” my father to condone his sin. If I went to the wedding, my presence there would indicate to everyone that I DID approve and that I did think it was valid, even if *I *knew I didn’t.
I guess you have to decide if you want to obey God’s commandments or if you would rather stir up drama and controversy.
Um, you might want to read this sentence of yours again. Do you realize what you are saying??
OF COURSE I am going to choose to obey God’s commandments instead of avoiding family drama, because if I chose to avoid the drama, I would be deliberately disobeying God, and that could land me in Hell. If it comes between following Christ and hurting my family or avoiding drama and committing grave sin, I’ll choose hurting my family.
Jesus even *told *us this kind of situation would happen:
Luke 12:51-53:
[Jesus said,] “Do you think that I have come to establish peace on the earth? No, I tell you, but rather division. From now on a household of five will be divided, three against two and two against three; a father will be divided against his son and a son against his father, a mother against her daughter and a daughter against her mother, a mother-in-law against her daughter-in-law and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law.”
I’m sorry he said this, but again…he is again making a choice. See, we are not victims in this world. Your dad had a choice yet again, and he chose to say that you hate him. It is easy for me to say this sitting back objectively, but your dad needs to some serious soul searching. I am sorry you’re in this situation…I pray it works out (that he chooses to not marry that woman in question, probably would make the most sense) But, if your dad is feeling isolated, and angry, he may go forward feeling that she and he are not alone…
Maybe, just maybe, by sticking to your guns, you are planting some seeds that will eventually blossom in many people’s lives-- your dad, his fiancee, extended family members, etc.
You have made your decision, and I can’t add really much advice. I think if it’s what you feel God is calling you to do, then you must go with that gut feeling. (that is the holy spirit tugging you)
I don’t understand.
Thanks for the chuckle.