How do I tell my parents I'm becoming Catholic?

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Vicki_Leigh

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I was raised Presbyterian, and my parents are still Presbyterian. My husband, two teenager daughters, and I are in classes and will enter the Catholic church in December. We will then be visiting my parents (1000 miles away) for Christmas. I’m afraid my parents are going to freak out when I tell them we’re Catholic. They have all the concerns and misconceptions about the Catholic church that I had until I began studying. I don’t know the best way to tell them. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
 
Vicki I wish I could tell you a good way.
I don’t know if it’s best to warn them beforehand so they can decide whether they can face up to this yet? They are best known to you.

I ask God to guide and bless you and your family.
God has drawn you and your family to Catholic faith,
and so now I ask God to help your family and you in sharing this news with them.
**
Warm congratulations to you and your husband and daughters. How wonderful!**
 
Tell them beforehand so that your children are not subjected to any freak outs, adult conversations, insults, tense emotions, etc. Whatever happens you don’t want it happening in front of children.
 
I would have to agree with BlueEyedLady on this one. Make sure that the children are not present for any arguments about this. Though I hope that they are accepting of your decision. 🙂 I know I will be accepting of my children, regardless of their religious affiliation, or lack thereof.
 
I’m going through the same thing. My mom is okay with me having a Catholic wedding but hesitant that I’m completing my sacraments. She thinks I’m going backwards.

If there is someone I’m really scared for, it’s my Pentecostal practicing brother. If there was anyone who is a major critic of the Church, it’s him. He’ll also probably think my fiance convinced me to come back to the Church when it’s completely my decision. :gopray:
 
Vicki_Leigh said:
I was raised Presbyterian, and my parents are still Presbyterian. My husband, two teenager daughters, and I are in classes and will enter the Catholic church in December. We will then be visiting my parents (1000 miles away) for Christmas. I’m afraid my parents are going to freak out when I tell them we’re Catholic. They have all the concerns and misconceptions about the Catholic church that I had until I began studying. I don’t know the best way to tell them. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
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I would write a nice letter, right away, so there’s time for all the emotional reactions to die down before you show up at Christmas. You can consult Masstimes online and find a Mass to attend, and perhaps go with your mom and dad to their church, as well, unless they have fallen away and wouldn’t be going. If they still go, it’d be nice, I think, for you to go with them, which I’m sure they would like.
 
I just went through this, and know first of all that you are in my prayers. It’s never an easy thing.

If your parents are strong Presbyterians, be prepared with answers to the most common misconceptions of and Protestant protests against the Church: the role of the Pope, the fact that the Saints and Mary are not idols, an explanation of the Eucharist, why women can’t be priests, the necessity of Confession, etc. Also be prepared with your own personal reasons for entering, and absolutely be prepared to say, “Mom, Dad, I love you, but I have to walk away right now.”

In all of your interactions, no matter how they act towards you or react to the news, treat them with the utmost love and respect owed your parents, and ask your kids to do the same.

I agree with the others: tell them beforehand so they’re not blindsided in front of the kids, and have all discussions or arguments behind closed doors. I also like the idea of going with them to church, if it doesn’t interfere with Mass.

Praying for you! I hope it all goes well 🙂

Edit: I just want to clarify! If the discussions can be held in a rational manner, by all means have them with the kids as well! It is good for them to be able to rationalize their choice to join the Church. I guess I meant more arguments, since that’s how my family deals with it.
 
BlueEyedLady said:
Tell them beforehand so that your children are not subjected to any freak outs, adult conversations, insults, tense emotions, etc. Whatever happens you don’t want it happening in front of children.
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👍

Vicki, as BEL said, it would be better if your daughters are not subjected to emotional outbursts. Therefore, tell your parents in advance (a hand-written letter would probably be best) and ask them to discuss calmly in front of the teens (this goes for you, as well ;)). That said, your children certainly should be part of the conversation when you share with your parents your reasons for becoming Catholic, presuming they want to know (remind them in the process that their grandparents love them and you and want nothing more for you all than you live in God’s friendship and that they just don’t believe that being Catholic is the surest way to do this).
 
My grandfather was a Presbyterian minister.

He was actually happy that I had found a church home, even if it meant converting.

Due to physical limitations, and his own responsibilities, he wasn’t able to come to the Vigil when I joined, but he was actually good with it.

Don’t underestimate your family, and those around you. Be kind, be gentle, but tell them ahead of time.

Best of luck, and welcome home!!
 
Write 'em a letter.

Then you get to say everything you want to say without them interrupting.

They may not freak out as bad as you’re afraid they will. If you haven’t been attending any church at all, usually it’s something like, “Well, at least they go to church.” I don’t think the trendy relativism wherein one church is as good as another and all paths lead to God has confined itself to just the Catholic Church - it infects everyone. They may not care at all.
 
When you phone them, just mention that you and your husband have started going to Mass on Sundays. They will then be asking you the questions.
 
My suggestion for you to consider is perhaps to call or email beforehand (WELL beforehand) and let them know what’s going on so that they have time to wrap their heads around it. Let them know that if they have any questions about it, they can ask, and maybe you can clear up some misconceptions that they have about it. If not, at least they will know and (hopefully) won’t cause any sort of scene at Christmas in front of your children. My prayers are with you!
 
I too would say write a letter.
It has the advantage of allowing you to write and edit as much as needed before you send it off.
It also has the advantage of being able to get your points out clearly and without interruption.

Include as much detail as you feel necessary, reasons why you feel drawn to the Church, things you’ve learned etc. that you think might help them to understand.
Tell them how much you love them and how important their love and faith has been in your own journey…Well - you know…a nicely worded letter.

Then - depending on how you guys usually communicate, you can follow up with phone calls or additional, letters, e-mails or what ever.

Peace
James
 
I xannot tell you how to tell them but I will say I understand what you are going through. I decided to bexome Catholic when I was 15 years old. No one in my family goes to church or participates in any religion. My mother, sister, and brother all claimed to be Episcopalian. My father did not believe in God. No one in my family supported my decision but lucky my mom conviced my dad it was better than me being out doing other hings. My sister did not talk to me for about six months. I know that seems scary and you don’t want that to happen, but there is good news. Today, I am better proud Catholic that goes to church multiple times of the week with the support of my entire family. My father actually admitted to believung in Good again. No one else became Catholic but they all did dtart to have there own relationship with God. My point is they mufht overreact but they will come to terms with it sooner or later. You might actually help them understand and be open to making sone changes in there spiritual life. The way I told my parents was different for the two of them. I wrote my dad a letter explaining my decision, but I say my mom down and told her. The best way to tell them really just depends on the type of people your parents are. Best of Luck! And congrats 🙂
 
I agree with those who suggest telling your parents now so they will be used to the idea before you get together at Christmas.

Perhaps get your parents a good book about the apostolic origins of the Church. Sorry I don’t have a good suggestion ready!
 
Vicki_Leigh said:
I was raised Presbyterian, and my parents are still Presbyterian. My husband, two teenager daughters, and I are in classes and will enter the Catholic church in December. We will then be visiting my parents (1000 miles away) for Christmas. I’m afraid my parents are going to freak out when I tell them we’re Catholic. They have all the concerns and misconceptions about the Catholic church that I had until I began studying. I don’t know the best way to tell them. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
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Talk to your daughters, too, and prepare them for the case that your parents may not be happy and may not accept your new faith. You could get them a few books on the Catholic Church (apologetics) so that if their grandparents ask questions or make incorrect assumptions, the girls could (charitably) correct them or answer questions.
 
Thank you all for the suggestions. I will take the good advice and write them a letter soon. I will say a rosary about it and hope it goes better than I think it will.
 
Update: we ended up not seeing my parents at Christmas. After prayer and talking to my sister, I decided not to tell my parents right now.
 
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