How do i tell my son...very sad day

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iluvmybabies

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Maybe this isn’t the place to write this but I am very sad today…Might seem stupid but I really am…

Our dog had puppies 9 weeks ago…She had 9 but one was stillborn, and the other died from respiratory problems within 24 hours after she was born…The other seven were fed and over fed and taken care of and everything as much as possible. I would even give them sponge baths once every 2 weeks since they turned 5 weeks old…We got very attached to them, especially 3 in particular…My kids named them-Buster, Fluffy and Chica…

They were their buddies…Even though we weren’t planning on keeping any, perhaps just one out of the litter, and by the way the puppies were selling we were probably going to be left with 2 of them one of which was Buster and the other one my gf wanted but backed out on the last minute for, whom was named snoopie…

Again, we have babied them and taken care of them with a lot of care. First went a cute little girl to one of our friends, hopefully all is well with her and their toddler didn’t kill her!! 😦 Very scared, have tried to aks them how their new puppy was doing but haven’t answered me… 😦
Then went another little girl whom she was one of the cutest ones, we called her Cookie because she looked like a vanilla and caramel cookie! Her family came forth and just took her as soon as they were able to!
The third to go was this adorable little girl we called Pixie…She was so cute and playful!!! 😃

Now we had 4 left, one we were planning on keeping and 2 which had guaranteed homes, and then Buster whom no one wanted so we were planning on keeping him as well. We don’t have much money but I wasn’t just going to leave him somewhere and hope some good family got him, better keep him then let him suffer, not right!! 😦 So we were looking for vets to take him since the 2 other siblings were going to be sold soon, and we were going to keep our 2 little mutts, and looking forward to it…

My daughter and my youngest was upset because we weren’t keeping any that they named or wanted, we were keeping just one that my son became really close with, Buster…
But I explained that at least my 6 year old’s buddy, Fluffy and my daughter’s Cookie were going to be going to wonderful families that will love them as much as we did and why not share in the love…??? So they agreed…IT was for the best…

Well 2 weeks ago Buster came down with something…Not sure what it was, he wouldn’t eat but he drank water, so we kept him warm, gave him some medicine and kept feeding him water, I would stay up late till he fell asleep, could be till 4 am but I did it because my son begged me to take care of his Buster…Then 4 days later he snapped out of it and was fine again…He was running and playing and eating perfectly fine, we loved having him back again! 😃 It was great…All of a sudden over the weekend he became ill again. Not sure what happened, he was not eating since yesterday, nor drinking water, not sure what happened!! I was very scared, we kept him warm and help him and carried him and babied him…We snuggled him and tried to give him water and milk and food, and it still didn’t do anything…So I thought maybe he just needs to rest and snap out of it later on…So we went to bed after we saw him fall asleep…We wrapped him up and tried to keep him warm…

This morning there was no life in him… I didn’t know what to tell my son since he was looking forward to his kisses… 😦 I just made some lame excuse and told him he would get his kisses when he got home…That Buster was resting!! my db went back to my house and called me here at work and told me Buster didn’t make it…He tried to bury him but the shovel broke!! 😦 I don’t want my son to look at him that way! How do I tell my 8 year old what happened to his puppy that we were “supposedly” taking care of?!

It’s a sad day for us, and I feel horrible I feel as if I should have done more for the puppy?!

I couldn’t afford to take him to the emergency vet and he was eating fine up until 2 days ago! Not sure what to do or say…

I feel terrible for my son! And even more for that poor puppy! We loved him so much and it hurts that he is gone…

I am sorry I just needed to vent, but what would you tell your child?
 
I think you tell him the truth. You did all you could, but Buster died. As parents we can’t fix everything, and sooner or later all kids learn that. Just let him know you are there for him.
 
1.) Buster was sick. Mom does not control sick. Mom can’t control sick.
2.) Buster was too sick to live in his body.
3.) Buster died.
4.) We know that God loves us, and God loved Buster, as Buster was His creature and creation. So, we are going to trust that God is taking care of Buster.
5.) DB buried Buster’s body, but that is not what made Buster who he was.

And get the dog’s body out of the house, even if you have to call animal control, even if borrow a shovel, even if you have to rig a coffee can to use as a shovel, whatever, just do it.
 
BamaRider said:
I think you tell him the truth. You did all you could, but Buster died. As parents we can’t fix everything, and sooner or later all kids learn that. Just let him know you are there for him.
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I agree… he is 8 yo… it will be sad now but he will come to realize that life is precious that way… we just don’t know when it’s our time
 
That’s sad. I am so sorry. I guess the best thing to do is tell him the truth. Poor kid. And I agree with the other poster, get rid of Buddy before he get’s home. Your son doesn’t need to see that.

And I applaud you for taking on this huge litter of puppies and finding homes. That is a huge task!! Is there any way you can get your dog spayed so that she doesn’t have another litter of puppies?
 
noclevername said:
That’s sad. I am so sorry. I guess the best thing to do is tell him the truth. Poor kid. And I agree with the other poster, get rid of Buddy before he get’s home. Your son doesn’t need to see that.

And I applaud you for taking on this huge litter of puppies and finding homes. That is a huge task!! Is there any way you can get your dog spayed so that she doesn’t have another litter of puppies?
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Thank you…And yes, trying to save up the money to do so… I mean I am very grateful there were so many great families that wanted the puppies, I know there are many puppies and dogs in the shelters but most of the people I gave the pups to were coworkers or friends so they kind of wanted them from someone they knew… 🤷

I am trying to keep her on a very tight leash… We are not letting her go for nothing in the world, because it wasn’t fair for the first 2 that died and now Buster… I know God loves us it’s just that it pains for such a tiny thing to go, you know? And then to tell your kid that he didn’t make it…That was my son’s best friend…😦
 
Thank you everyone for your help and advice…It’s greatly appreciated!
 
This is a real shame, I feel so sad for you. Years ago I was living with a couple who bred two springer spaniels to make some money. All of the puppies were spoken for right after they were born. The mother only had four puppies. They were healthy for the first few weeks, then one by one each puppy got sick and died. They took them to the vet, and apparently it was some stupid infection that breed was susceptible to, and there was nothing to do. So, going to the vet might not have saved Buster. I agree with all of those who say just tell the truth. Children are very resilient. They saw you care for the puppy, and they know you loved and cared about him. At some point in the future they will likely face a similar situation and know how to handle it because they watched you. God bless you.
 
sheila0405 said:
This is a real shame, I feel so sad for you. Years ago I was living with a couple who bred two springer spaniels to make some money. All of the puppies were spoken for right after they were born. The mother only had four puppies. They were healthy for the first few weeks, then one by one each puppy got sick and died. They took them to the vet, and apparently it was some stupid infection that breed was susceptible to, and there was nothing to do. So, going to the vet might not have saved Buster. I agree with all of those who say just tell the truth. Children are very resilient. They saw you care for the puppy, and they know you loved and cared about him. At some point in the future they will likely face a similar situation and know how to handle it because they watched you. God bless you.
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Thank you… I think we will tell him the truth…Even though db doesn’t want to…He told me to just tell my son that Buster is in a better place and leave it at that… 😦 Ugh, I never thought I would have to break my child’s heart this way!!

My son doesn’t have many friends, and even though my children sometimes don’t get along, mostly because of my daughter, and her influence on her siblings makes things difficult, they still are great kids and always care about each other…And Buster was his best friend… Very sad…
 
:crying: :imsorry: I think it is important to tell the truth. (The saddest I ever was about losing a pet, was when my mother was afraid/unable to tell me the truth. She said my dog was at the vet, which was true…except:( she had died there…It took a long time to get past this).
It is OK to feel sad & to let your children see how sad you are. When a child is hurting, seeing that parents hurt too, makes them see that it is OK to grieve.
This makes me wish I could just :console:you because I can feel your pain…You and your family are in my prayers right now…

It is true that a vet may not have been able to save Buster. Many times, there is just nothing they can do. (I have seen vets break down & cry when they cannot save a pet).
God bless you for caring so much for these little puppies to find them good homes.
And Buster knew he was loved. Sometimes that is the greatest comfort, just to know that Buster’s short life was, for him, a wonderful thing, because he was loved so much by your son, & your whole family. What a beautiful life he had for his short time on earth, because God gave you all such love for him that he was truly blessed by it.
So many animals never have that kind of love & friendship.:crying: All they really want in life is for someone to love them, to make them happy, and dear little Buster had all the love in the world.
Again, God bless.:byzsoc:
 
Zooey said:
:crying: :imsorry: I think it is important to tell the truth. (The saddest I ever was about losing a pet, was when my mother was afraid/unable to tell me the truth. She said my dog was at the vet, which was true…except:( she had died there…It took a long time to get past this).
It is OK to feel sad & to let your children see how sad you are. When a child is hurting, seeing that parents hurt too, makes them see that it is OK to grieve.
This makes me wish I could just :console:you because I can feel your pain…You and your family are in my prayers right now…

It is true that a vet may not have been able to save Buster. Many times, there is just nothing they can do. (I have seen vets break down & cry when they cannot save a pet).
God bless you for caring so much for these little puppies to find them good homes.
And Buster knew he was loved. Sometimes that is the greatest comfort, just to know that Buster’s short life was, for him, a wonderful thing, because he was loved so much by your son, & your whole family. What a beautiful life he had for his short time on earth, because God gave you all such love for him that he was truly blessed by it.
So many animals never have that kind of love & friendship. All they really want in life is for someone to love them, to make them happy, and dear little Buster had all the love in the world.
Again, God bless.QUOTE]

:bighanky: :sad_bye: I feel horrible I really do but everyone’s advice and help is comforting…I will tell him the truth…I will talk to my db and together we will sit him down after he gets home from school and let him know that unfortunately Buster was unable to wake up today but that he’s in a better place…That he felt very loved by him and that he misses him the most but that he was grateful that he was his bf…

I just hope he doesn’t hate me after telling him this…

I mean what does an 8 year old really understand about death? 😦 But I will do it…

I just hope my son doesn’t hate me and grow up thinking I did this on purpose…Or that I didn’t want to save Buster…

I miss him all ready…:crying:
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That is really sad news. I’ll say a prayer for your family, including Buster! It must be so hard to tell your son, but I’m sure he’ll be understanding. He knows you’ve all been taking such good care of Buster and that you did everything you could.

When I was growing up, we had cats outside, usually in the barn. One year when I was about 8 or 9, there was a single kitten born late in the fall with no brothers or sisters to cuddle up with for warmth. For whatever reason, the mother didn’t seem to be taking care of the kitten, so we brought him inside where we could feed him milk and keep him warm. He was pretty much newborn and needed to be fed with an eyedropper. I don’t remember how long he was with us, but we all got so attached to the little guy. But one day when I came home from school, my mother was sad and let me know that the litte kitten had died. She’d been worried about telling me, and had thought I’d be angry at her. But I wasn’t mad at her at all, just sad to have lost the kitten. I understood that we can’t control death, and that we’d done everything we could for that little kitten.

You’ve gotten some really wonderful advice here, and I hope all goes well when you tell your son the sad news. He’s got a loving, supportive family to help him get through this sad time, and learn so much about life and love. Here’s one other idea: maybe your son could be the one to say some words where Buster is buried…maybe sharing memories, a prayer, or something like that.

Hugs to you!

:hug3:
 
^ITA. . . if your son takes the loss harder than you expected, you can suggest making a memorial of sorts, like setting up a special shelf in his room in Buster’s honor–a special picture, maybe a toy and a little angel or something like that.

❤️
 
iluvmybabies said:
I am trying to keep her on a very tight leash… We are not letting her go for nothing in the world, because it wasn’t fair for the first 2 that died and now Buster… I know God loves us it’s just that it pains for such a tiny thing to go, you know? And then to tell your kid that he didn’t make it…That was my son’s best friend…😦
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I’m not saying it doesn’t hurt. It’s going to hurt. You asked how to tell him. That’s how.

He’s not a baby, in the sense that he’s not a toddler or a preschooler. You have a big boy, who has reached the age of reason. Yes, he’ll cry, and he’ll need hugs and kisses, then kisses and hugs, and a cookie wouldn’t hurt either. But he needs to hear the truth. Buster died.
Zooey said:
**It is true that a vet may not have been able to save Buster. **Many times, there is just nothing they can do. (I have seen vets break down & cry when they cannot save a pet).

And Buster knew he was loved. Sometimes that is the greatest comfort, **just to know that Buster’s short life was, for him, a wonderful thing, because he was loved so much by your son, & your whole family. **What a beautiful life he had for his short time on earth, because God gave you all such love for him that he was truly blessed by it.
So many animals never have that kind of love & friendship.:crying: All they really want in life is for someone to love them, to make them happy, and dear little Buster had all the love in the world.
Again, God bless.:byzsoc:
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👍
twosweetgirls said:
^ITA. . . if your son takes the loss harder than you expected, you can suggest making a memorial of sorts, like setting up a special shelf in his room in Buster’s honor–a special picture, maybe a toy and a little angel or something like that.

❤️
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Or you can even have a memorial service, where you spend 15 minutes remembering Buster.
 
Lizziebel said:
That is really sad news. I’ll say a prayer for your family, including Buster! It must be so hard to tell your son, but I’m sure he’ll be understanding. He knows you’ve all been taking such good care of Buster and that you did everything you could.

When I was growing up, we had cats outside, usually in the barn. One year when I was about 8 or 9, there was a single kitten born late in the fall with no brothers or sisters to cuddle up with for warmth. For whatever reason, the mother didn’t seem to be taking care of the kitten, so we brought him inside where we could feed him milk and keep him warm. He was pretty much newborn and needed to be fed with an eyedropper. I don’t remember how long he was with us, but we all got so attached to the little guy. But one day when I came home from school, my mother was sad and let me know that the litte kitten had died. She’d been worried about telling me, and had thought I’d be angry at her. But I wasn’t mad at her at all, just sad to have lost the kitten. I understood that we can’t control death, and that we’d done everything we could for that little kitten.

You’ve gotten some really wonderful advice here, and I hope all goes well when you tell your son the sad news. He’s got a loving, supportive family to help him get through this sad time, and learn so much about life and love. Here’s one other idea: maybe your son could be the one to say some words where Buster is buried…maybe sharing memories, a prayer, or something like that.

Hugs to you!

:hug3:
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Yes thank you! I appreciate your help and prayer…Thank you so much!
 
twosweetgirls said:
^ITA. . . if your son takes the loss harder than you expected, you can suggest making a memorial of sorts, like setting up a special shelf in his room in Buster’s honor–a special picture, maybe a toy and a little angel or something like that.

❤️
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Thank you great idea… I think he would like that very much…thank you and God bless!
 
OutinChgoburbs said:
I’m not saying it doesn’t hurt. It’s going to hurt. You asked how to tell him. That’s how.

He’s not a baby, in the sense that he’s not a toddler or a preschooler. You have a big boy, who has reached the age of reason. Yes, he’ll cry, and he’ll need hugs and kisses, then kisses and hugs, and a cookie wouldn’t hurt either. But he needs to hear the truth. Buster died.

👍

Or you can even have a memorial service, where you spend 15 minutes remembering Buster.
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Thank you for your advice…It’s greatly appreciated!
 
Oh, sending hugs your way. This is tough. :console:

I agree with telling him the truth. Yes, it will hurt and be sad, BUT much good can come from this…

We have had to bury numerous pets over the years with our 3 boys. Each one has been very sad and heartbreaking, but each one has made our boys a better human being…helped them on their journey to be great men. They learn caring, empathy, sympathy, mourning, and so many other things. I know that is really hard to see right now, but over time you will.

We have a memorial set up under our deck for my 15 year old’s guinea pig that died a few months ago. He built a cross, installed a little picket fence around it, and laid some rocks over it. We had a memorial service -:signofcross: picture a 16, 15 and 13 year old boys, praying for and crying over a guinea pig. Then he wrote a poem, framed that with some pictures, and hung it in his room.

Always be truthful with your kids, no matter how difficult the subject. It will pay dividends down the road.
 
Good day everyone, well yesterday before I got home, my db decided to tell my son without me about his little Buster…I was upset because we discussed we would do it together, but since he’s been babysitting for me, obviously he got to my children first, so I got off my high horse and quit my dumb attitude and was very grateful that he was able to explain to my son about the situation and what happened to Buster.

He didn’t take it well, but my db spent a lot of time with him calming him about the issue and the fact that Buster is now in a better place. It took him a while but by the time I got home, he was doing a lot better.

This morning my son woke up in good spirits so I know that deep down it still hurts him but he is doing well…

Thank you everyone for your advice and prayers!! 😃 It’s greatly appreciated, hope you have a blessed day!
 
iluvmybabies said:
Thank you… I think we will tell him the truth…Even though db doesn’t want to…He told me to just tell my son that Buster is in a better place and leave it at that… 😦 Ugh, I never thought I would have to break my child’s heart this way!!
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As Catholics, we have no reason to fear death (human or animal). He needs to know the truth. This could lead into a good faith filled teaching moment on death and what we believe.

By hiding the subject and tiptoeing around it, it probably will lead more into a fear of death then confronting the truth head on. After all, if mom and dad don’t like to talk about it, there must be something to be scared of. He’ll also learn about grieving. You can tell your husband that my son saw his sister in her casket without being scarred for life. They can handle it, but the parents have to be upfront about it and what we believe about death.

I’m not saying that your son needs to see the dog after death, it really depends upon you and how you wish to parent. But when I was young my dad had the dog wrapped in a blanket and we buried him like that. It might be good to have his final thoughts by the grave. It might not, but you know your son better then us.
 
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