How do I wean in a fast manner?

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Murphster

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I have been diagnosed with a medical condition that requires medication immediately. However, I am nursing my 11 month old twin daughters three times daily and three times at night, too. Because this medication will show up in my breast milk, I’ve been told to wean immediately.

This breaks my heart for obvious reasons, but how do I even go about doing this??? I want to minimize the trauma to them. How do I deal with the breast pain and milk supply, too?

ANY ADVICE is appreciated!
 
I would suggest that you discuss this with your OB right away. There are meds that you can take to help ease your pain (forget calling it discomfort - some man thought that term up:yup: ). As far as your precious babies, they will be ok as long as you can keep their bottle feeding time as stress-free as possible. Try to relax before feeding so that they do not pick up on it. They may or may not take to the bottle right away, but just remember that when they are hungry enough they will take it! They will be just fine - trust me. Do not worry about all the “separation anxiety” and “potential problems” in the future from changing to the bottle - it is a bunch of hogwash…They WILL take the bottle - really! It may be immediately and it may be a few hours. If they are eating regular food (which they probably are at this age) it will probably be even easier than if they were only breat feeding.

Hang in there - you are a great mom! Trust God and He will guide you and keep you in His care!

Karen Anne
 
Karen Anne:
I would suggest that you discuss this with your OB right away. There are meds that you can take to help ease your pain (forget calling it discomfort - some man thought that term up:yup: ). As far as your precious babies, they will be ok as long as you can keep their bottle feeding time as stress-free as possible. Try to relax before feeding so that they do not pick up on it. They may or may not take to the bottle right away, but just remember that when they are hungry enough they will take it! They will be just fine - trust me. Do not worry about all the “separation anxiety” and “potential problems” in the future from changing to the bottle - it is a bunch of hogwash…They WILL take the bottle - really! It may be immediately and it may be a few hours. If they are eating regular food (which they probably are at this age) it will probably be even easier than if they were only breat feeding.

Hang in there - you are a great mom! Trust God and He will guide you and keep you in His care!

Karen Anne
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I agree–TALK TO YOUR OB! They will have good advice. You can do it! I will say a prayer for you! Goodluck… but I am not even old enough to get married… so thus I don’t have kids… and therefore my :twocents: is limited… Just, as I have heard my mom say, “don’t stop cold turkey” that will be bad!
 
I would try to find someone else to give them a few bottles a day…they will probably take them from another person easier in the beginning…this is how I weaned my oldest…my youngest weaned himself…as for you, you just might need to pump as little as possible until your milk supply goes away, just to keep yourself confortable. Can you possibly wean them to a bottle during the daytime before you start the medication? Or are you starting the medication immediately? In other words, do you have any time here?

Your children will be just fine…but Mom will be the one you must worry about…take care of yourself!
 
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Murphster:
I have been diagnosed with a medical condition that requires medication immediately. However, I am nursing my 11 month old twin daughters three times daily and three times at night, too. Because this medication will show up in my breast milk, I’ve been told to wean immediately.

This breaks my heart for obvious reasons, but how do I even go about doing this??? I want to minimize the trauma to them. How do I deal with the breast pain and milk supply, too?

ANY ADVICE is appreciated!
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Ok, I know this is going to make me sound like a conspiracy theorist…but it really depends on the medication – I have a great reference for you – it tells you how much will pass, what effect (if any) it might have on your baby etc.

Would it be too nosy to ask what specific medication you’ve been prescribed? My docs put me on metronidazole and told me to stop nursing my 2wk old baby (can you say “critical timeframe”???) – I did a ton of research and came to discover that met is no more dangerous than tylenol in mothers milk. Now, that is NOT to say you med will be fine, but you’d have to look specifically and see what you’re taking and how it is metabolized and how it passes – because doctors receive (including OBs, believe it or not) only a couple of HOURS of education on lactation…a couple of hours – that’s not much. Their job is birthing and conditions related to that – lactation is sadly not on the job list…I may be able to help you – feel free to PM me!!!
 
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Murphster:
How do I deal with the breast pain and milk supply, too?
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If it becomes too painful, you can pump some to relieve the pain and then simply dump the milk. If you pump a lot, it will maintain your milk supply, so don’t overdo it. (However, if you’ll only need the medicine for a short time and you want to try to return to nursing after, pumping lots could be the answer.)
 
A lot of babies self-wean around 9 months. So your munchkins will probably be fine . . .

Godspeed. Prayer ascending.
 
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mercygate:
A lot of babies self-wean around 9 months. So your munchkins will probably be fine . . .

Godspeed. Prayer ascending.
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Some do, some don’t - -my son probably wouldn’t have cared a bit, but my daughter on the other hand, was no where NEAR self-weaning at 9mos. Every child is different, and their needs are different – only you as a mom can decide what’s “fine” for them or what they would be “fine” with. Stopping breastfeeding abruptly can be no big deal, or it can be a huge deal. The hardest part is knowing which side of the coin your child will fall on. And that won’t happen until you close the kitchen, so to speak. I’m guessing if they’re still nursing 3x/night at 11mos, they’re pretty happy about the whole thing and not anticipating an abrupt stop anytime soon…nutritionally babies don’t necessarily need to nurse thru the night at that age (although with twins, it may be different depending on birth size, development etc), but many will continue (moms too!) because they really really like it. I diidn’t like the loss of sleep, but I really didn’t mind night-nursing b/c we were both happy with the arrangement. As for your supply, if you’re nursing both kids 3x/day and 3x/night, that’s what…12x/day? Your supply is bound to be pretty heavy compared to the average singleton mom’s bbs at that age…so I would be careful to do it as slowly as possible (the “mom” side of the weaning, if that’s how you go) b/c a breast infection from engorged/clogged ducts is WAY painful, and will only complicate the condition you are being treated for (weakened immune system, high fevers, etc) – again, please feel free to contact me on the side if I can be of any help whichever way you decide to go!
 
My wife had to do this a few months ago for our then 10 m.o. DD. Others fed her the bottles as much as possible the first few days, and DW hand-expressed to relieve pressure. It helped we had already been offering water in a bottle occasionally before then, but there was no trauma to the child.
 
I would contact your local La Leche League chapter, or contact LLL headquarters. They keep an up-to-date list of medications and how they will affect a nursling. They can tell you if it is really necessary for you to wean. I have been told by my LLL leader that there are really very few medicines that require weaning.

However, if you do have to wean, they will also be able to help you do that.

www.lalecheleague.org
 
I agree with the poster above who said to research the drug a bit more. You would be surprised at what you can take while breastfeeding. That being said if you do need to wean them a tried and true way to dry up your milk is cabbage leaves. I know it sounds silly, but I had to do this when my son was stillborn at 35 weeks. It is very painful when you get engorged , the leaves help you to not become engorged. Just put the cabbage in the fridge so they are cool. Then take a leaf or two and pound it to break the veins apart a little. Place the leaves in your bra and replace after they are soaked. (and they will be) I had to leave them in all the time except to sleep, however you may only have to leave them in a half hour several times a day. This method will dry you out much quicker than just waiting for them to dry up. You shouldn’t have to express milk as often as the leaves cause the milk to leak out a little at a time. It works very well. I wish you the best, I know it is never easy to wean a baby, but you’ll do fine.
 
Thank you all for your helpful replies. I’ve been told the medicine will pass through the breastmilk, but the effect it will have on the girls is unknown and so in order to proceed with caution, I have to definitely wean.

Last night was extremely difficult. I nursed them in the evening but decided I would attempt to not night nurse. I do have frozen breastmilk that I’ve previously pumped and stored, but I wanted to see if taking a bottle of water or Gerber juice would go over well.

It did not go over well. Both of them were confused and emotional by the second time they woke up, expecting to nurse. (There have been times previously that they received a bottle during a night feeding, but it was always breastmilk and never water or juice.) One of my angels could not go back to sleep and it was almost breaking my heart but, knowing that I need to get on this medication as soon as possible and once I start, I will not be able to give in–I did not give in. For awhile. :o Finally I gave them a bottle of breastmilk each and this helped quiet them down, but both of them both kept searching for my breast in their sleep, whimpering while doing so. (We co-sleep. Their father and I are divorced and annulled.)

Today my breasts were ACHING and the girls were so despondent that I let them nurse this morning. During the day I needed to work (from home) so they spent most of their time with the nanny. Part of me thought this was the wrong thing to do, as they needed their time with me, but being around me just made them want to nurse. I spent the afternoon and evening with them, eating dinner (yes they are definitely on lots of solids and enjoy them!), bathtime and playing. They seemed slightly cheered. I just put them to bed after their bath, though, and one of my girls had a full-out tantrum over not being able to nurse. I just held her and shushed her and rocked her and offered her a pacifier or bottle. She looked at me, with a tear-stained face, as if I had lost my mind, seriously. Finally the nanny (who lives with us) took my angel and was able to console her.

I feel like the worst mother ever. There has never been a time where I was unable to console my baby over the nanny! I know my nanny adores my girls and I know my girls adore the nanny, but the fact that they so desperately want to be nursing and clearly feel that I have taken something so special away from them is breaking my heart.

I spoke to both my doctor and my OB today and neither were helpful. My doctor just said, “Put your emotions aside and realize this medicine is very necessary. You need to be on it asap!” My OB just said, “Well I know you believe that nursing for an extended amount of time is really necessary, but the girls are 11 months old and they don’t nutritionally need to be nursing any longer, so try to comfort them as best you can.”

Thank you especially to whomever suggested the cabbage–I will try that tomorrow. I have been expressing the milk to relieve pressure, but trying to do much less than what they normally consume. I can’t believe it’s only been one day.

I hope this doesn’t sound dramatic. I know some of you suggested they wouldn’t be overly attached, but my girls were/are extremely attached to it. As am I. I am already dreading tonight a little bit. I’m scared I’m ruining the emotional bond I have with my angels. I can’t believe how traumatized they are.
 
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Murphster:
I feel like the worst mother ever. …
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You sound like you need a hug. Just remember to take care of the caretaker!
~ Kathy ~
 
Oh, my dearheart, my heart just breaks for you and your daughters! I know you would do the best for them that you could!

There is a book from the Couple-to-Couple League called Medications and Mother’s Milk. Many times dr.'s know a medicine gets into breastmilk, and this book is highly lauded for explaining what if any side effects the children have. Please check it out before proceeding! www.ccli.org

I will say a prayer for you and your daughters now. Good luck, I know this is hard. I had to wean my son at 2 1/2, while tandem nursing his baby sister, because I was pregnant with my third and my body just couldn’t keep up. It was so hard for me to see him heartbroken, but I just couldn’t nutritionally nurse two and grow one, and stay healthy myself.

Godspeed.
 
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Murphster:
I hope this doesn’t sound dramatic. I know some of you suggested they wouldn’t be overly attached, but my girls were/are extremely attached to it. As am I. I am already dreading tonight a little bit. I’m scared I’m ruining the emotional bond I have with my angels. I can’t believe how traumatized they are.
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Oh I am sooooooo sorry – your post brings tears to my eyes!!!-- I was afraid it would be this hard (I totally understand your feelings – I wish I could reach right thru the screen and hug you!! (You’d probably think that a little creepy, no?)

Pray to the Blessed Mother – and I will too.
 
I totally understand what you are “kinda” going through…sometimes the older children are the harder they are to wean.
I tried weaning my oldest son when he was about 15 months. My husband I went on a trip for three days. He had normal food…had never taken formula, but was on milk. Anyway, my breasts got so HUGE…when I got home to pick him up…he crawled all over me crying to nurse…actually the most horrible experience of my life! He was crying…I was crying…just horrible! I felt like the worst mother in the world!

However, in your case, you must stop nursing and I am so sorry. Let the Nanny take care of them, feed them…they will be okay and come back to you…maybe take a “vacation”?

Your doctors are crazy…you can’t put you emotions away when it comes to nursing.

You are in my prayers…take care of yourself!
 
I still really suggest you look more into if weaning is really necessary! It sounds like it is not you or your girls’ desire (I have a 14 m/o son, and I think his reaction would be just about the same if I tried to wean him- my heart breaks for you!!)

Doctors (except a few) do not take any classes on breastfeeding in medical school. Therefore, they are generally very uneducated about breastfeeding. The La Leche League has a panel of doctors and nurses who have devoted their lives to breastfeeding and everything about it. Their knowledge and information is designed as a supplement to the knowlege of our family doctors.

I am going to my LLL meeting tonight and my leader is a highly educated lactation consultant and on the board of LLL Canada. She would know or be able to find out for me if LLL has any information on that medicine.

I really understand where you are coming from! Look more into this and see if it is really necessary for you to wean. If it is, I would also suggest the cabbage leaves. Maybe you could hold off on the medicine for a month to try and wean a bit slower, too? Is that even a possibility?
 
I went to LLL website and found this. Please also check out the additional resources at the end of the article. There are some that are very good.

lalecheleague.org/FAQ/medications.html

I really feel for you! Please feel free to PM me or email me if you just want some support or would like to talk about this. I am here!
 
One more…

I found these tables at the American Academy of Pediatric’s webite.

Here is an article on the transfer of medications to mother’s milk: aappolicy.aappublications.org/cgi/content/full/pediatrics%3b108/3/776#T1

Here is a list of drugs that need to be given to a nursing mother with caution, and the effects they can have on the baby: aappolicy.aappublications.org/cgi/content/full/pediatrics;108/3/776/T5

And here is a list of drugs that are compatible with breastfeeding: aappolicy.aappublications.org/cgi/content/full/pediatrics;108/3/776/T6

Given the age of your babies, and the fact that they eat quite a bit of solids (you mentioned above), they probably wouldn’t absorb much or the medicine. Also, if it is a medicine routinely given to infants, there should be no problems. You might ask your doctor (although I am sure you have) if there are any alternative medicines that you could take, too.

I hope this helps! I am not trying to force you not to wean or feel guilty for having to, I just hope that you can find out if you really need to, because it sounds like the weaning is really hard on both you and your babies.

God bless you and I am praying for you!
 
I really appreciate all of you writing me. I don’t have anyone in my personal life to ask about this. I am 26 and none of my friends have any babies yet, at least none that are weaned. My mother and father passed away when I was around 13 and I don’t have a MIL. I can’t tell you how much your support means to me on this forum!

Last night was really hard again. I didn’t bother with the water or juice but immediately offered the breastmilk in a bottle. One of my girls took it but when her sister started crying it startled her into wondering why and after observing her sister, then she, too, refused it. This went on for awhile until they rocked back to sleep in my arms (holding both) and then after cuddling in bed, they woke up an 1.5 hrs later this time cranky. I again offered the bottle and continued to be gentle in my redirection away from my breast. My nanny came in and she took one and we both rocked and offered the bottle. This time there was less resistance and they both took the bottle of breastmilk.

I put on a sports bra to wear to bed because as soon as I laid down, one of my girls instinctively moved straight to my chest. I literally cried like the whole night. This morning was another tantrum from one twin and I again offered breastmilk in a bottle with the nanny. They were able to take it when I left the room (break my heart) and went to pump.

I called my doctor and said I need a week to store up as much breastmilk as possible. My doctor agreed but said after one week I mUST be on the medication or my heath situation will worsen. I decided I am not even going to offer water or juice until a week or so when my angels are completely sure that they will no longer be getting my breast. I think I will try to fade the breastmilk as my frozen supply gets less and less and then re-introduce water and juice.

I also called a friend I know from when I was in graduate school. (She doesn’t have any kids but she told me to do the fading thing above and it makes sense. It’s amazing how easy something is to someone not in the emotions of the situation.) She is a close friend, also a therapist (she’s even on this forum, she told me about it in the first place :D) and knows about my weaning dilemma and I told her how no one has any suggestions for the emotional side of things. She had a really great idea about putting together a storybook about their feelings and the situation and offering an explanation through the simple story. She told me to include pictures of me nursing and happy pictures with the girls, and gave me a good idea exactly how to do it. At first I thought this seemed far-fetched, but my girls LOVE books. I was so emotional when I tried to make it, that I called her for some more advice and she ended up making it for me, emailed it to me and then I printed it off and added the pictures and put it through a color copier. Voila.

I let the girls be with the nanny most of the day, as I had to work again and the night and morning were so hard. Plus I was extremely sleep-deprived and emotional. After they woke up from their nap (they don’t nurse right after their nap, and my friend said I should do it in a “non-nursing” moment) I pulled out the “book” and we read the story twice. They were so intrigued. They both wanted to look at it again and again and kept shoving it at me (which is their cue for me to “read” it). We read it several times.

I thought it went really well until dinner time.They completely refused to eat or drink a single thing and kept signing to me the words for milk and help. One of my angels got totally hysterical when my nanny tried to pick her up. Finally I sat on the sofa with one against my chest and the other against my thigh and I pulled the “book” out and started reading it. It took until I read it straight through and begun the second time that they started to quiet down and hiccup and reach for the book and give me huge sniffling long looks. (Which I tend to interpret as “You are a mean mommy!” :() They are now quiet and they haven’t eaten anything but they are laying against me (with sort of that glazed and shocked look) and much calmer. I am not sure what to think but I honestly think the book might be helping “explain” things.

CONTd
 
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