I have been in worship/music ministry and I learned it is very subjective. On a good day, we KNEW we could pick certain worship choruses that will prompt specific responses from the people in the Church. If we picked great songs, we would have one reaction, if we picked “lousy” boring songs, we wouldn’t get the same response. If people raise their hands more does that mean Jesus is present? If we weren’t on the mark that day, was Jesus ABSENT?
How do you KNOW Jesus is present? How can you measure that Jesus is present at a worship concert? I know also that non-believers raise their hands and Christian concerts. The music moves them to. People do the same at secular concerts.
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Son of Monica, I love your analogy of serving God what He asked for.
I would be glad to pray for you as you enter the Church.
I, too, was involved in leading worship and playing guitar as a non-Catholic. That “behind the scenes” experience is one of the things that led me to the Catholic Church. Let me share with you an anecdote, a true one, from my experience, which colors my outlook.
Let me set the stage: I played guitar a few times in the house praise band for a congregation called “The Grove,” which, at the time, was a non-self-supporting off-shoot of a local non-denominational church. The Grove met on Sunday nights, and largely catered to 20-somethings, single or newly married or in college. The worship leader had a degree in music, and the service was probably 75% music (all alternative-rock style a la Hillsong), pausing only briefly for a sermon (‘message’), which usually featured a beginning movie clip from a popular movie like Remember the Titans or Forrest Gump, some Bible verse(s), and a talk from a 30-something newly married pastor (button-up shirt, no tie) who tried to tie together the movie clip, the Bible verse(s), and his married life into a coherent message. The praise band was very, very good, and I felt honored to be invited and allowed to play guitar with them from time to time. We would practice a few times during the preceding week and on Sunday afternoons before the Sunday night service, and we were required to be expertly polished–the worship leader was very demanding, technically. We choreographed everything. I am not ashamed to say that we were good at what we were doing.
One Sunday night, a man came up to the worship leader after the service, and told him that during a specific part of a specific song, the man felt the Spirit of God move. The worship leader turned to the man and stated very matter-of-factly, “No, you felt the bass line kick in.” It was at that point that I began to realize what we were selling…
I began to consider the advertisements for the weekly services: “Come and experience true worship,” they would read. I began to realize that the reason that the worship leader was so demanding was that we were emotionally manipulating people. And when I asked the worship leader about it, he was up-front with it, and not ashamed at all. Why? Well, he viewed it as his calling and his job to make people “experience true worship.” He truly felt as though manipulating guitar parts and bass lines and drum beats in order to evoke emotional responses in people was okay, because it made them think about God. He knew the emotional rush that people felt was not the spirit of God, as he admitted to the man that one Sunday night, but that was okay, because the man “experienced worship” in his heart.
Around the same time, a close friend of mine (who also had experience as a worship leader and guitar player) began to question what was happening at these services. He wondered aloud, if the Spirit of God is truly present, and is the one causing all these people to sway and raise their hands, then why am I able to attend these services and remain unaffected? I told him that I felt the same way, and that I suspected it had something to do with being to technically involved with the worship planning. Because I was leading worship, I must be truly focused on creating the worship experience in others–that’s why I didn’t feel it. But then why wasn’t I able to worship when I was standing out in the crowd, not playing guitar?
I began to question the very concept of worship that was being fed to me. Is worship something that was made for us to experience, or something that was made for God to experience? I have begun to realize that singing songs of praise to God is wonderful, and he desires it–it orients us toward him, and it gives praise where praise is due. But it is not worship–worship is something else: it is sacrifice to the satisfaction of Almighty God.
This is why, after practicing with the praise band, my friend and I were both able to attend praise and worship and remain unaffected by the Spirit of God that was supposedly moving. For true worship to take place, God must be satisfied, not me. But what am I to do? The best works that I can do are like filthy rags.
Well, the good news is that God has taken care of this! At every Mass, the Church offers God the only form of worship that has ever satisfied God–the sacrifice of his only Son, Jesus Christ. During each celebration/reception of the Eucharist, we unite ourselves, physically and spiritually, truly and really, corporeally and substantially, with the one salvific act of Jesus’s death at Calvary–together as one living sacrifice we who share in Christ’s sacrifice are made truly acceptable unto God. And by participating in his death, we are given the glorious reward of participating in his resurrection–we are given the gift of eternal life!
Thank you for your prayers–I really need them, because apart from God and the prayers of his Church, I am truly a distorted picture of what God has planned for me.