How do people do it

  • Thread starter Thread starter ineedofmercy
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
I

ineedofmercy

Guest
I’ve been trying to fend off my addiction to masturbation and porn for years now
I’m 16
It’s been like 2-3 years since I found out I had to stop this

The longest I’ve ever made it free was 57 days

But on average I barely make a week
And it’s not that I want it because more times than not its like an itch

Days feel so long so getting anywhere is tough

And with every other struggle I face I’m dragged into it even more

It made me have depression for a bit

I wished that I could just die and go to heaven or purgatory

And because of fear about my parents annoying me and their reluctance to go i haven’t been to confession in 2 years

It’s just so hard to do anything
I just have to ignore my huge pile of Mortal Sins

I just need advice on how to get out
I’m clouded in desolation and just want to be happy and help others be happy

I’m so utterly lost and bound to be a failure in everything until I’m too old and my childhood dies then maybe I will be able to be an ok person

How to do people get past this
 
This is something that you, as such a young person, cannot be expecting to to do alone.
You need to talk to a good and holy priest and maybe your own doctor.
Your parents can also help. Remember, they were both young once too!

Please seek some help, don’t be embarrassed. You are dealing with something that many young (and older) people deal with. There is never any shame is seeking help.

Peace be with you. I will pray for you.
 
Hi there my friend, a few things for you.

You need to visit a confessional. Going to confession and receiving the Eucharist after is the most powerful way to fight sin and temptation. Have you tried asking your parents if they would take you yet? They may be more willing to go if you are asking them. If your family attends mass regularly, you could ask your priest if you could come a bit early on Sunday and receive the sacrament of confession before mass, or you could approach him after mass and ask him if you could confess.

If you talk to the priest in confession, make sure to mention how often you fall into the sin. He may tell you that you are not mortally, but instead venially culpable for the sin if you are addicted. He will tell you more about that and answer any questions.

A very powerful devotion is to mother Mary. Pray the rosary daily, Mary’s intercession is so very powerful and she hates to see her children being harassed by temptation and sin. When you are tempted, try praying the Hail Mary. Pray it over and over if the urge continues, making sure that you are not just saying the words but are really thinking about Mary and her Son.

Consider making a consecration to Jesus through Mary. By this consecration many graces are poured out. A good book that leads you through the consecration is “33 Days to Morning Glory.”

A very good speaker who often addresses porn and masturbation addiction is Jason Everett. Many of his talks are available on YouTube.

Whatever you do, never slip into the feeling that God doesn’t love you. He does, He loves you more than anyone can fathom, even through your sin. He wants more than anyone that you would find freedom from this sin and be with Him. All of the saints and angels also have this desire for you to conquer these sins, and are praying for you in constant intercession. No matter how alone you feel, find comfort in these facts.

Again, regular confession and reception of the Eucharist in a state of grace are the most powerful ways to break any sin. Please, do all you can to get to confession and Mass regularly.

I will be praying for you, my friend. Fight on! :knight2:

God bless.
 
One more thing:
ineedofmercy said:
I’m so utterly lost and bound to be a failure in everything until I’m too old and my childhood dies then maybe I will be able to be an ok person
Click to expand...
Do not allow this sentiment to overtake you. I know that feeling of hopelessness, it does not help. Think of all the saints who turned their lives around. St. Francis of Assissi, St. Augustine, St. Paul… So many saints struggled with sin, often sins much more grave than your own, and yet were able to find freedom from these sins and continue on to be some of the greatest saints the Church has ever known.

How did they do this? Much prayer, a heart yearning to love God wholly and entirely, and again, confession and reception of the Eucharist in a state of grace.

Nothing is to great for God. Trust in his mercy and his goodness! He will deliver you just as he delivered His people from the Egyptians so long ago.

God bless.
 
You need to abandon this idea that masturbation is a mortal sin and if I do it and die before I go to confession, then I will go to hell. I can promise you that many priests do not take that attitude and even the catechism gives a back-door respite for it. That doesn’t mean that you have free reign to do it; just keep in mind that it is part of the human condition, you aren’t alone and the Church recognizes that.
 
16 years of age and raging hormones are mostly the cause.

It eases as you get older, especially after you find the right woman and get married.

That all being said, although the Church teaches that masturbation is grave, there is nothing in Scripture condemning it.

However, what it does is cause a stunt in your spiritual growth and trust me, all the major religions, including non-Christian religions like Buddhism and Taoism, teach against masturbation for spiritual growth. Their teaching is more on the line of it being a discipline, rather than a sin like in Catholicism.

So, as an old wise priest told me years ago, “until the reason not to masturbate becomes stronger than the desire, you will continue to do it.”

Finding the reason not to masturbate, is harder than over-coming the desire, any healthy male can attest to this. You will always rationalize in your mind, why it’s not a big deal. Praying to the Blessed Mother is a source for true understanding on this issue.

In all, don’t give into despair, this is what Satan wants you to do.

Instead, turn to God and ask for the grace to help you.

God Bless
Jim
 
Try fasting. It has helped me tremendously and I think it can help you as well. When your stomach is empty, your heart is open. That’s why people often pair fasting and prayer together. When your body is craving food and drink, it’s much easier to fight lust.

The Lord has rescued me from pornography. What He did for me, He can do for you. Spend more time in fasting; I promise that it will help you fight carnal desires. If fasting a whole day is too much, then just fast for half of a day.
 
Hello Friend

I’m a guy and I’m 19. A priest told me that I should ask the Blessed Virgin to help me combat temptation and that eventually the sexual urges will go away.

Yes, it does feel like I am going to Hell, or even that I have possibly murdered “future generations” (even though I plan on staying single).

All I can say is go to confession and just keep trying to sin no more.

==> Surely God does not want us to suffer from scruples. Rather, as Christians we are called to holiness.
==> You should read the Bible in depth; and wisdom will come to you!

Peace!
 
JimR-OCDS said:
16 years of age and raging hormones are mostly the cause.

It eases as you get older, especially after you find the right woman and get married.

That all being said, although the Church teaches that masturbation is grave, there is nothing in Scripture condemning it.

However, what it does is cause a stunt in your spiritual growth and trust me, all the major religions, including non-Christian religions like Buddhism and Taoism, teach against masturbation for spiritual growth. Their teaching is more on the line of it being a discipline, rather than a sin like in Catholicism.

So, as an old wise priest told me years ago, “until the reason not to masturbate becomes stronger than the desire, you will continue to do it.”

Finding the reason not to masturbate, is harder than over-coming the desire, any healthy male can attest to this. You will always rationalize in your mind, why it’s not a big deal. Praying to the Blessed Mother is a source for true understanding on this issue.

In all, don’t give into despair, this is what Satan wants you to do.

Instead, turn to God and ask for the grace to help you.

God Bless
Jim
Click to expand...
I don’t even desire it sometimes but it’s like an itch and I just don’t fight it hard enough so I fall in

I did find a reason not too many actually
Which is why my heart feels like it’s being ripped apart knowing i went against

-Masturbation causes anxiety especially around girls
  • in my heart I want only their smiles and hugs and I will be fine but my body is weak and earthly
    -it makes you only want what you see and messes with your mind
I just have to be brave and escape this desolation
I just hope it happens soon
 
Another thing that may help you when fighting the itch is to look at a picture of or simply imagine Jesus on the cross. Know that when you take a stand and win against the urge, you are showing Him the love he begged for when he cried out, “I thirst!” Jason Everett recommends finding a really, really** bloody image of Christ crucified and actually setting it as you screensaver, so that you have to look at it if you are logging on to look at porn.

It won’t be easy, my friend. Evicting sin never is. The harder you push against sin, the harder it will push back. But know that our God is an awesome god and that he will fight for you.

Pray, pray, pray. :signofcross: :gopray: :signofcross:

God bless!
 
First I think going to confession and being in the state of grace would give you a lot of strength to fight temptation and even if your parents would question you about it you could just say that as catholics we are required to go to confession at least once a year, you don’t have to add anything else. Think about the joy that you would have after confession to help you push past the fear. In the meantime, ask God for forgiveness and resolve not to sin anymore.
Second, you’re not bound to be a failure and you do not have to masturbate even if you strongly feel like it. This quote from the Bible “For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age” shows us that God’s grace is bigger than anything.
You want to be able to enjoy real sex with a real woman when you get married, not with the girls in porn. By learing to say no to it now you are preparing for your future wife.
Stay busy, pray and never give up!
 
Tim_D said:
You need to abandon this idea that masturbation is a mortal sin and if I do it and die before I go to confession, then I will go to hell. I can promise you that many priests do not take that attitude and even the catechism gives a back-door respite for it. That doesn’t mean that you have free reign to do it; just keep in mind that it is part of the human condition, you aren’t alone and the Church recognizes that.
Click to expand...
Masturbation is, in fact, a mortal sin, is recognized as such by the Church. The same teachings apply to masturbation as to any other mortal sin. I do not exactly understand what you are trying to say.

God bless.
 
I’m struggling with this as well and puts a doubt in my faith I think its impossible to stop, thinking about how many people do it not to mention teens around the world are they all condemned to hell who can be saved? I don’t understand the passage in the catechism of it being a “grave sin” is it a mortal sin? venial sin? do we have to confess this and not partake in the Eucharist if we do masturbate? I don’t go to communion because of this issue btw I’m 30 and been struggling with this almost my whole life.
 
John_Martin said:
Masturbation is, in fact, a mortal sin, is recognized as such by the Church. The same teachings apply to masturbation as to any other mortal sin. I do not exactly understand what you are trying to say.
Click to expand...
Actually, the Church recognizes masturbation as being grave matter, not mortal sin and one only need to consult the catechism about the lessened culpability due to factors outside of our control, i.e. hormones, force of acquired habit, etc.

This idea of masturbation being a mortal sin that is automatically punishable by eternity in hell as soon as one touches themselves unless they go to confession is draconian and not what the Church teaches. Pity the poor souls who torture themselves with guilt thinking that God hates them because they gave into a weakness experienced by the bulk of the world.

One could be a raging alcoholic their entire lives and no one would consider that a sin but God forbid that a young man should touch himself. :rolleyes:
 
wiggbuggie said:
I’m struggling with this as well and puts a doubt in my faith I think its impossible to stop, thinking about how many people do it not to mention teens around the world are they all condemned to hell who can be saved? I don’t understand the passage in the catechism of it being a “grave sin” is it a mortal sin? venial sin? do we have to confess this and not partake in the Eucharist if we do masturbate? I don’t go to communion because of this issue btw I’m 30 and been struggling with this almost my whole life.
Click to expand...
Sexual sins are grave matter, not mortal sin. A mortal sin consists of grave matter but that does not mean that grave matter is always a mortal sin. The catechism clearly states that the degree of culpability is lessened due to certain factors, one being the force of acquired habit. The fact that you have been struggling with this your whole life certainly falls under the concept of acquired habit and means that it isn’t wholly your fault (if it is even your fault at all).

If you fall into this particular sin, you should certainly refrain from Communion until you go to confession (remember that it is grave matter). Ask your confessor for advice but recognize that you are not alone and that your are a human being with human weaknesses. I’ve yet to have a priest be shocked when confessing this sin. They know the struggle. Finally, don’t give into despair and think that God is going to condemn you for it. If we were all condemned for our shortcomings and failures, then heaven would be a very lonely place.
 
Sorry, I was wrong - yes, masturbation is grave matter, not necessarily mortal sin. I did not at all mean to promote the misconception that masturbating damns you instantly to hell. It is vital to take culpability into account!

Sorry Tim, I thought you were saying that there isn’t really anything wrong with masturbation (which I see now that you obviously weren’t.) You were simply clarifying that there is a difference between grave matter and mortal sin - something I overlooked and really should have mentioned in my original post. I frustrate myself sometimes. :banghead:

Like Tim said, make sure to go to confession before you receive the Eucharist if you have committed an act of grave matter. If you have an addiction or something else that could be affecting your culpability, I would mention that to the priest. He will then be able to give you better advice on what to do.

God bless.
 
ineedofmercy said:
I’ve been trying to fend off my addiction to masturbation and porn for years now
I’m 16
It’s been like 2-3 years since I found out I had to stop this

The longest I’ve ever made it free was 57 days

But on average I barely make a week
And it’s not that I want it because more times than not its like an itch

Days feel so long so getting anywhere is tough

And with every other struggle I face I’m dragged into it even more

It made me have depression for a bit

I wished that I could just die and go to heaven or purgatory

And because of fear about my parents annoying me and their reluctance to go i haven’t been to confession in 2 years

It’s just so hard to do anything
I just have to ignore my huge pile of Mortal Sins

I just need advice on how to get out
I’m clouded in desolation and just want to be happy and help others be happy

I’m so utterly lost and bound to be a failure in everything until I’m too old and my childhood dies then maybe I will be able to be an ok person

How to do people get past this
Click to expand...
for the original posting and question, I would highly recommend a filter on your computer. One I have is called Qustodio that’s really good another is k9 web protection
 
For many people (though not all), age and maturity helps in getting rid of these habits. For me personally, when I hit about age 23 I suddenly found myself not interested in a lot of the meaningless sexual experimentation I’d engaged in during my late teens and early 20s. It just seemed old and boring and not going anywhere.

I realize that doesn’t help you very much right now though, and you don’t want to just continue to sin and risk developing bad habits while you are waiting for maturity to possibly take care of some of the problem, so for now you can follow the many other good suggestions in this thread.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top