How do people who use contraception go to confession?

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CRV said:
How do people who use contraception go to confession?

I think one also has to take into consideration the lack of catechesis nowadays (as well as through several decades past) - that there are people who honestly don’t know it is intrinsically evil to use any form of ABC.

So they can only confess what their conscience tells them is wrong/that they’ve sinned. And as we know, only mortal sins must be confessed, so if they don’t know or were misled as to its sinfulness (reading other posters’ comment above), then there isn’t full knowledge, and if there isn’t full consent either - then there isn’t mortal sin.

My parish does keep printing them out, but because people come from “everywhere” and not just territorial parishioners - thankfully we seem to be needing to often print more as they seem to go like hot cakes! And I think this is because people just don’t know what things are sins let alone what things are objectively mortal sins.

Again, possibly lack of clear teaching from:- schools, or the pulpit or even the parents themselves. If the parents themselves don’t know, then how can they pass on what they don’t have? They can’t.

And unless they hear or read something that pricks their conscience and thus leads them to search for the facts on the matter themselves, then they are not going to be any the wiser either, because as far as they know, they know what the Faith is and have been properly taught. And so the circle of ignorance perpetrates. And yes, we all know it is the parents responsibility to pass on the Faith, but if they didn’t receive it fully, then in turn, they too cannot pass it on fully to their children.
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Many people are basically clueless as to how to examine their consciences. Some never even go through CCD, have had vapid First Communion or Confirmation preparation, some haven’t even had that much.

They need those examination of conscience cards. It might even be a good idea for parishes to offer some kind of “Father Knows Best” one-day classes, where the priest goes through the E of C and explains how to make a good confession. It could even be done in an evening with free dinner provided (pizza, sub sandwiches, whatever, with chips and a drink). Are there any classes like this?
 
I think it is very sad that the Church is generally afraid to condemn the use of contraception and seems to turn a blind eye.

At the very least couples should confess the sin, and Priests should strongly encourage repentance in the most practical way possible - stop !
 
@HomeschoolDad

I’m grateful that in my parish we have very good catechesis and preparation for the Sacraments. I think Father does the Baptism prep classes, but we have a very traditional, highly knowledgable catechesist preparing the children for the other sacraments. wrt adult RCIA, I honestly don’t know, though I do know Father has personally taught adults in preparation himself, other than that I am not sure.

We do have young adults group which also have proper teachings included in their evenings in addition to free dinner. They are not meetings to discuss fund raising for their youth group activities but to learn and grow in the Faith and of course to socialize with others their age - all helping to grow a strong parish and form strong Catholics in their Faith.
(sorry, got to go now)
 
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My guess is that it is not even on their radar as something that should be confessed. I think that we all have significant blind spots when we examine our consciences and that is a blind spot for many people.
 
I don’t think a faithful practicing Catholic should have any blindspots when examining our conscience. We are told to form our conscience and then we are responsible for that. I have no blindspots when it comes to my own conscience. What I do have is sins that keep coming up and I need to confess often. But no part of me can say that I have “blindspots” when it comes to my own conscience. Nobody should. That being said I know a lot of people do.

It blows my mind how many people post on CAF wanting strangers to serve as thier formed conscience. I can’t imagine ever asking if such and such is a mortal sin. I have the CCC the Church, Tradition and God’s grace to help me examine my conscience and educate myself to be Holy. Not to mention the saints and the Church!
 
IdaCatholic said:
I don’t think a faithful practicing Catholic should have any blindspots when examining our conscience. We are told to form our conscience and then we are responsible for that. I have no blindspots when it comes to my own conscience. What I do have is sins that keep coming up and I need to confess often. But no part of me can say that I have “blindspots” when it comes to my own conscience. Nobody should. That being said I know a lot of people do.
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I can only speak for myself, but I know that the formation of my conscience is ongoing. I cannot say that I have always seen in myself the sins that I see now and I sincerely hope that my conscience continues to develop so that, in the future, I can see myself even more clearly. I was taught that I should pray to the Holy Spirit that my sins be revealed to me before I examine my conscience. If my conscience were fully formed and I could see everything with perfect clarity, there would be no need for such a prayer.

The sin of pride keeps us from seeing ourselves as God sees us. Sin obscures our vision. That is what I mean by a blind spot.
 
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babochka said:
My guess is that it is not even on their radar as something that should be confessed. I think that we all have significant blind spots when we examine our consciences and that is a blind spot for many people.
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It’s not on their radar at all. Secular society has been pushing artificial birth control as something good, intelligent, responsible, and “just common sense” for over 50 years now. Many people may have some vague idea that the Catholic Church teaches against contraception, but as far as it being a mortal sin (given the three conditions), or any sin at all for that matter, it’s just not there. Some may recall Father X years ago having told them that there’s nothing wrong with it, or that it is “up to your conscience”, or some misunderstood idea of “Vatican II changed all that” or “it’s not a sin anymore”. Some might say “the Church has covered up all the gay pedophile priest stuff all these years, it is a joke for them to try to tell me what to do or not do in the bedroom”. And so on. The teaching is regarded as a “ban”, or a “policy”, nothing more.

Bottom line, many people who call themselves Catholic have absolutely no intention of accepting what the Church teaches on this matter, no intention of confessing it as a sin, and no intention of giving it up. A grave matter in itself (what we called “objectively mortal sin” in the backwater where I grew up, but people have issues with using that phrase, so I won’t), with sufficient knowledge that it is gravely sinful, and fully willing to do it — the three conditions for mortal sin. What could be more serious than that? What could be more worthy of being brought up, having consciousness raised, reminding people that it is sinful?
 
Noooooo. I’m still amazed how many homes had/have it and how few caught/catch on fire.
 
MasterHaster said:
Some might say “the Church has covered up all the gay pedophile priest stuff all these years, it is a joke for them to try to tell me what to do or not do in the bedroom”
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I’m not quite clear where you are going with that reference, but I can see — without agreeing — how people could reject the Church’s teachings on those grounds. “Who are they to tell me what I can do in the privacy of my bedroom with my spouse, when so many of these same priests have victimized young boys for so many years, committing far worse sins — even by the Church’s own definition — than they accuse me of?”

The Church does have a bit of a public relations problem in that regard.
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I’m not sure speculating about what sins other people commit and how they confess them is healthy for anyone.
 
blackforest said:
Ah, but I can’t call that equal sharing when it’s the woman who wakes up early, takes the temperature, checks the . . . stuff, keeps the chart . . . We can’t call it equal sharing when there’s “marital duty” to factor into it - i.e. the man wants relations when the woman wants to abstain to avoid pregnancy.

I’m not dissing on NFP, but I do think it’s disingenuous to pretend like there’s equality in it
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I agree with this & so does my husband. He thanks me for my part in it all. We don’t pretend it’s equal. I appreciate him acknowledging that & being grateful for what I do to check, chart, be pregnant, birth the baby, nurse the baby, etc. I’d be bugged if he acted like the process was equally shared when it so obviously isn’t. I don’t resent the inequality, though. Afterall, my husband does a very unequal share of working outside the home (all of it), mowing the lawn (all of it), repairing our vehicles (all of it), etc. Honesty and gratitude go far in cases like these.
 
EricF said:
I’m not sure speculating about what sins other people commit and how they confess them is healthy for anyone.
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Zeal for souls, and for the communion of saints, for one thing. We are all responsible for giving witness to the Faith, helping one another to get to heaven, and yes, offering fraternal correction when we see our neighbors in sin, in error, or endangering their souls. In the modern-day understanding of the “Sacrament of Reconciliation” (also called penance or confession), we become reconciled not only to Almighty God, but to the community of the faithful. So in that sense, yes, the other guy’s sins are in some way “my business”, and vice versa. I damage the Mystical Body of Christ and her holy witness when I sin, and so does anyone else when they sin.

The Catholic understanding of sin is more than just a “God and me” thing. Thomas Merton speculated that his sins alone were enough to cause the Second World War. If that were indeed the case, I imagine that many, many people would legitimately have a bone to pick with Thomas Merton. My sins may have been much worse (and unlike Merton, I’m not done sinning, because I’m not dead yet!). The world, therefore, might legitimately have a bone to pick with me.

I would also add that people who use contraception “damage” the larger society, and not just spiritually. They contribute to the depopulation of their countries and the contraction of their economies. Japan is a case in point. There are fewer young people to support the elderly who can no longer support themselves. Some countries have policies that encourage growth through demographic change, admitting immigrants and refugees from diverse backgrounds. Without getting into whether such demographic change is good or bad, demographics that contracept themselves out of existence shrink and die out, and are replaced by other demographics.

Everything Pope Paul VI predicted in Humanae vitae has come true.
 
By all means then carry on. I’ll stick to sweeping my own side of the street. Until I am without sin, I’ll try and not cast stones.
 
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HomeschoolDad said:
It’s not on their radar at all. Secular society has been pushing artificial birth control as something good, intelligent, responsible, and “just common sense” for over 50 years now. Many people may have some vague idea that the Catholic Church teaches against contraception, but as far as it being a mortal sin (given the three conditions), or any sin at all for that matter, it’s just not there.
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Yup. I have many friends using contraceptives. Even Catholic friends. They feel they’re being smart. Some have heard they “shouldn’t” use contraception, but they are used to using it and it’s working and the idea of taking a class in a method that they’ve often also heard “doesn’t really work” + having to convince their husband to get on board… yeah, they often don’t even try. And let’s admit it - it’s not like priests ever talk about contraception. So the vague idea that the Church doesn’t allow it remains a cafe feeling - something they might have heard through their grandma or read in a pamphlet during marriage prep… but nothing anyone really TALKS about or actually EXPECTS of them in their daily life.
 
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HomeschoolDad said:
Secular society has been pushing artificial birth control as something good, intelligent, responsible, and “just common sense” for over 50 years now. Many people may have some vague idea that the Catholic Church teaches against contraception, but as far as it being a mortal sin (given the three conditions), or any sin at all for that matter, it’s just not there.
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And this is why they don’t confess it. In many cases, their consciences are so poorly formed that it never occurs to them that it is matter for confession. They confess their other sins, those that trouble their consciences, but this one doesn’t rise to that level because they have not been properly formed in the Catholic faith. Often, that is not their fault.

This level of malformation would seem to mitigate their culpability for the sin. In particular, it seems that many would not have sufficient knowledge of the gravely sinful nature of contraception.
 
EricF said:
By all means then carry on. I’ll stick to sweeping my own side of the street. Until I am without sin, I’ll try and not cast stones.
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I cast stones at no one except myself.

It is a good thing, and nothing but a good thing, to lament sin where we see it in the world, to lend fraternal correction where possible, and to wish that people would see their sins for what they are, and repent of them. And as you point out (or at least imply), we must first and foremost lament sin in our own souls, to seek to correct oneself fearlessly and without rationalization, and to wish to see our own sins for what they are, and to repent of them. Put another way, I want for my neighbor the good things that I want for myself. How is this a bad thing?

I really think we run this “we must not judge” thing into the ground in today’s world. I may be wrong, but it comes across as though Catholics, realizing we are a religious minority with an unpopular moral code, desperately want the larger society to like us, to think well of us, and thus we refuse to say that anyone has actually done anything wrong, has sinned, or has done something that displeases Almighty God with them. I am fully aware that we cannot judge the state of anyone’s soul, nor can we know the extent to which they have displeased God with their actions (in that they might not know how grave the sin is, or their will or free choice may be impaired in some way unknown to us), but we most certainly can judge the act in and of itself — can and should.
 
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