How do people who use contraception go to confession?

[MiserereMeiDei]

They feel they’re being smart. Some have heard they “shouldn’t” use contraception, but they are used to using it and it’s working and the idea of taking a class in a method that they’ve often also heard “doesn’t really work”…

That’s not even how NFP is supposed to be ‘used’. It’s not Catholic birth control.

 

[AlNg]

we have had several priests counsel us to use birth control

I read that a large percentage of Roman Catholics do not believe that artificial birth control is wrong when used in marriage between husband and wife and if they already have several children.
Now you tell me that some Roman Catholic priests do not believe that artificial birth control is wrong. What percentage of Roman Catholic priests do not believe that under some circumstances at least, artificial birth control for a married couple may not be wrong?
Can the Roman Catholic teaching on artificial birth control ever be changed officially say for example, to allow exceptions to the rule under certain restricted conditions.
It looks like the Catholics have changed their teaching on marriage annulments as there were about 10 or so marriage annuments allowed in the USA about 90 years ago and they were for very restricted reasons. However, recently the reasons for allowing a marriage annulment have been relaxed so that a large percentage of those applying for it - will have it granted.

 

[HomeschoolDad]

They feel they’re being smart. Some have heard they “shouldn’t” use contraception, but they are used to using it and it’s working and the idea of taking a class in a method that they’ve often also heard “doesn’t really work”…

The Catholic mindset towards getting married and having children is different from that of secular society. The marital act must always be open to life, and choosing moral means to make conception unlikely (not impossible) has traditionally been something that has to be justified. Three popes have reiterated this: Pius XI in Casti connubii, Pius XII in his allocution to Italian midwives, and Paul VI in Humanae vitae.

https://w2.vatican.va/content/pius-...ents/hf_p-xi_enc_19301231_casti-connubii.html

Address to Midwives on the Nature of Their Profession - Papal Encyclicals

http://w2.vatican.va/content/paul-v...ments/hf_p-vi_enc_25071968_humanae-vitae.html

Some say nowadays that NFP may be used at will, and that no reasons need be considered. I would welcome a papal or magisterial clarification of this. It is hard to understand how at one time a reason (grave, serious, whatever adjective you want to use) had to be considered, but now the couple doesn’t have to have a reason. Some say that the mere fact of using NFP rather than ABC is proof of a couple’s bona fides. This, too, is hard to understand. NFP should be used in dialogue with one’s confessor or spiritual director.

 

[HomeschoolDad]

What percentage of Roman Catholic priests do not believe that under some circumstances at least, artificial birth control for a married couple may not be wrong?

I don’t have those statistics. I do think (and certainly hope) that more and more priests, percentage-wise, will be totally orthodox in all of their teachings, as the older generation dies off and is replaced by younger priests. Newly and recently ordained priests seem to be more conservative theologically than in times past. Seminaries that train priests to offer the Traditional Latin Mass are turning out record numbers of new priests.

Can the Roman Catholic teaching on artificial birth control ever be changed officially say for example, to allow exceptions to the rule under certain restricted conditions.

Absolutely not.

It looks like the Catholics have changed their teaching on marriage annulments as there were about 10 or so marriage annuments allowed in the USA about 90 years ago and they were for very restricted reasons. However, recently the reasons for allowing a marriage annulment have been relaxed so that a large percentage of those applying for it - will have it granted.

No teaching has been changed. In the past, the Church was very, very parsimonious about granting annulments. The Church is now willing to look at subjective psychological and spiritual factors, lack of maturity, psychosexual development, and so on, that were not considered in times past as grounds for declaring a marriage null and void. Very often, it is possible to look at a marriage from its very beginning — which is what marriage tribunals focus on — and see that there was something “wrong” from day one that may have made the marriage invalid and not a true sacramental marriage.

 

[Jen7]

Some say nowadays that NFP may be used at will, and that no reasons need be considered. I would welcome a papal or magisterial clarification of this. It is hard to understand how at one time a reason (grave, serious, whatever adjective you want to use) had to be considered, but now the couple doesn’t have to have a reason. Some say that the mere fact of using NFP rather than ABC is proof of a couple’s bona fides . This, too, is hard to understand. NFP should be used in dialogue with one’s confessor or spiritual director.

I have never heard this concept. Doesn’t NFP lend itself to use only in grave situations? Who wants to do all that checking and charting and abstaining unnecessarily?! People who talk like NFP can be used “with a contraceptive mindset” mystify me. They must not find it inherently annoying to use NFP. Isn’t the idea of contraception to “free couples” to have sex anytime with no ensuing responsibilities (I.e., parenting)?? NFP on the other hand doesn’t feel “freeing” in that worldly definition. It depends on careful charting and checking, loving communication and empathy, and sacrifice. The two just seem so… opposite. I have never met anyone who used NFP “for fun” (I.e., no grave reason). I don’t think the need for grave reason gets talked about much but it seems to me it goes without saying!

 

[VanitasVanitatum]

• Confess, just not mention it, and hope the priest doesn’t bring it up?
• Say that they use it, but they do not consider it a mortal sin, or any sin at all?
• Or just not go? Possibly for several years?

Why are you asking if you already know?

 

[HomeschoolDad]

Because I don’t “already know”. I am providing what might be some reasons. There could be other reasons. I would like to know what people do in these situations, how they rationalise it, so as to demonstrate how they are wrong to go against the teachings of the church.

 

[Minks]

@HomeschoolDad’

“How do people who use contraception go to confession?”

If they’re not permanently or temporarily disabled and in a wheelchair, my best guess is that they just walk into a Catholic Church during a scheduled confession time, enter the confessional when it’s their turn, then confess their sins just like the rest of us.

(Yes, the devil made me do it! )

 

[CRV]

(Yes, the devil made me do it! )

(Please Note: This uploaded content is no longer available.)

 

[babochka]

Some say nowadays that NFP may be used at will, and that no reasons need be considered. I would welcome a papal or magisterial clarification of this. It is hard to understand how at one time a reason (grave, serious, whatever adjective you want to use) had to be considered, but now the couple doesn’t have to have a reason. Some say that the mere fact of using NFP rather than ABC is proof of a couple’s bona fides. This, too, is hard to understand. NFP should be used in dialogue with one’s confessor or spiritual director.

I would say that any couple who is using NFP has a reason, and most likely a good one. NFP is a sacrifice, and not one that most couples wish to embrace. It requires ongoing, regular discernment and communication about their reasons for using NFP. Just because they don’t choose to make their reasons public doesn’t mean they don’t exist.

Only the couple themselves are in a position to discern whether NFP is the best course of action. The bar for “serious reasons” isn’t that high. In the link that you provided, Pope Pius lists four categories: medical, eugenic, economic and social. Those are pretty broad categories and can include reasons such as the age of the husband or wife, serial miscarriages, debt, poverty, depression, other children with special needs, being overwhelmed, being without social support, etc. Only the couple themselves can determine whether the reasons are serious enough in their particular situation, to make the sacrifices that NFP entails and we have to trust that a couple who has made recourse to NFP has discerned this for their situation. Sure, a confessor or spiritual director can be consulted, but it is not necessary. I did actually have this conversation with my confessor at one point. He gave me his opinion that NFP was fine for the circumstances I was facing. I appreciated his guidance and discussed it with my husband. We ultimately decided not to use NFP and that was fine, as well.

 

[AlNg]

The Church is now willing to look at subjective psychological and spiritual factors

So the divorce rate of married Catholics is now on a par with that of Protestants. (You have to get a divorce before filing for the annulment). This was not so in the past.

 

[AlNg]

Newly and recently ordained priests seem to be more conservative theologically than in times past.

It doesn’t seem that way to me according to what I read in the newspapers.

Absolutely not.

Already many Eastern Orthodox priests allow ABC under certain conditions, say if the couple already has three or more children and is facing financial difficulties. How would this work out in the event of a restoration of union between the Roman Catholic and Eastern Orthodox Churches?

 

[Psalm30]

By all means then carry on. I’ll stick to sweeping my own side of the street. Until I am without sin, I’ll try and not cast stones.

This is at least the second thread the OP has begun regarding people’s motives for committing certain sins. What he intends to do with the information he obtains, I am still struggling to understand.

 

[Psalm30]

HomeschoolDad:

Some say nowadays that NFP may be used at will, and that no reasons need be considered. I would welcome a papal or magisterial clarification of this. It is hard to understand how at one time a reason (grave, serious, whatever adjective you want to use) had to be considered, but now the couple doesn’t have to have a reason. Some say that the mere fact of using NFP rather than ABC is proof of a couple’s bona fides. This, too, is hard to understand. NFP should be used in dialogue with one’s confessor or spiritual director.

I would say that any couple who is using NFP has a reason, and most likely a good one. NFP is a sacrifice, and not one that most couples wish to embrace. It requires ongoing, regular discernment and communication about their reasons for using NFP. Just because they don’t choose to make their reasons public doesn’t mean they don’t exist.

Only the couple themselves are in a position to discern whether NFP is the best course of action. The bar for “serious reasons” isn’t that high. In the link that you provided, Pope Pius lists four categories: medical, eugenic, economic and social. Those are pretty broad categories and can include reasons such as the age of the husband or wife, serial miscarriages, debt, poverty, depression, other children with special needs, being overwhelmed, being without social support, etc. Only the couple themselves can determine whether the reasons are serious enough in their particular situation, to make the sacrifices that NFP entails and we have to trust that a couple who has made recourse to NFP has discerned this for their situation. Sure, a confessor or spiritual director can be consulted, but it is not necessary. I did actually have this conversation with my confessor at one point. He gave me his opinion that NFP was fine for the circumstances I was facing. I appreciated his guidance and discussed it with my husband. We ultimately decided not to use NFP and that was fine, as well.

I have a really REALLY hard time with the concept of being required to discuss reasons for using NFP with a priest or spiritual director. Is this truly what the Church requires? I sincerely hope not.

I am incredibly uncomfortable talking about the deepest, most intimate and private part of my marriage with anyone other than my husband, and I dare say that this kind of thing is part of what gives anti-Catholics the notion that the Church is all about power and control. Needing permission from your religious leaders to have or not have another child — or to have or not have sex with your spouse? I can see how that would make someone not want to be Catholic, or to be Catholic and ignore that particular aspect.

 

[babochka]

I have a really REALLY hard time with the concept of being required to discuss reasons for using NFP with a priest or spiritual director. Is this truly what the Church requires? I sincerely hope not.

No, the Church does not require that you consult with a Confessor before using NFP. I did because I am very comfortable with my confessor and I was struggling to make sense of some of my own spiritual issues and I found his perspective to be helpful in reaching a decision. That decision is solely between a husband and a wife.

 

[whatistrue]

it’s not like priests ever talk about contraception.

This may be true on average, but I recall a young priest (actually the priest who witnessed my marriage) giving a homily during the Saturday evening anticipatory Mass on a weekend near the 50th anniversary of the release of Humanae Vitae, and explaining that we all really need to read and follow it. That young priest is now the Chaplain at a local Catholic high school, so I suspect that a lot of young people are definitely going to get the message.

 

[Psalm30]

Psalm30:

I have a really REALLY hard time with the concept of being required to discuss reasons for using NFP with a priest or spiritual director. Is this truly what the Church requires? I sincerely hope not.

No, the Church does not require that you consult with a Confessor before using NFP. I did because I am very comfortable with my confessor and I was struggling to make sense of some of my own spiritual issues and I found his perspective to be helpful in reaching a decision. That decision is solely between a husband and a wife.

That’s good to know. However there are zealous Catholics who will say that a couple must discuss it with a priest, and that the only good reason to use NFP is if you’re practically on your deathbed. I’d say this drives people away from the Church.

 

[babochka]

Since the Catholic church only banned contraception in 1968, what was the status of people who practised it before that including say people who used withdrawal method thousands of years ago?

The Catholic Church has taught against all forms of contraception from the very beginning. Until relatively recently in church history, all Christians agreed. The evidence is abundant and I don’t have time to research quotes for you right now, but with very little effort you can find the answer yourself.

 

[babochka]

babochka:

Psalm30:

I have a really REALLY hard time with the concept of being required to discuss reasons for using NFP with a priest or spiritual director. Is this truly what the Church requires? I sincerely hope not.

No, the Church does not require that you consult with a Confessor before using NFP. I did because I am very comfortable with my confessor and I was struggling to make sense of some of my own spiritual issues and I found his perspective to be helpful in reaching a decision. That decision is solely between a husband and a wife.

That’s good to know. However there are zealous Catholics who will say that a couple must discuss it with a priest, and that the only good reason to use NFP is if you’re practically on your deathbed. I’d say this drives people away from the Church.

I agree. I have very strong opinions on those who place burdens on individuals that the Church does not place.

 

[HomeschoolDad]

“How do people who use contraception go to confession?”

If they’re not permanently or temporarily disabled and in a wheelchair, my best guess is that they just walk into a Catholic Church during a scheduled confession time, enter the confessional when it’s their turn, then confess their sins just like the rest of us.

Hey, that’s a good one! Have you ever considered “open mike night” at the comedy club?

Only the couple themselves are in a position to discern whether NFP is the best course of action. The bar for “serious reasons” isn’t that high. In the link that you provided, Pope Pius lists four categories: medical, eugenic, economic and social. Those are pretty broad categories and can include reasons such as the age of the husband or wife, serial miscarriages, debt, poverty, depression, other children with special needs, being overwhelmed, being without social support, etc. Only the couple themselves can determine whether the reasons are serious enough in their particular situation, to make the sacrifices that NFP entails and we have to trust that a couple who has made recourse to NFP has discerned this for their situation.

Agreed, the bar simply isn’t that high. But it does exist. There can be situations where a couple seeks to avoid pregnancy, but the reasons are not good ones. I know this for a fact, because we were one of those couples. Even when I made my confession prior to our wedding, I mentioned to the priest that we would be using NFP, and he said “it’s not common to try and avoid a pregnancy for the first year or two of marriage”. He didn’t tell me that we couldn’t, he just encouraged us to give it some thought. There is always the argument “if you’re not ready for a child yet, then maybe you need to postpone getting married until you are ready”. He didn’t say this, but this, too, would be a valid argument. Everyone’s situation is different.