How do priests go to confession?

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HomeschoolDad

HomeschoolDad

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I realize that the Popes (John Paul II and Francis among them) have given the edifying example of going to confession publicly, in full view of everybody, very frequently, and that is a good thing.

However, how do priests in general deal with going to confession? In 40+ years as a Catholic, never once do I recall seeing a priest in a confession line at church. I do know that one priest (who, sadly, has left the priesthood, surprising in that he was very pious and orthodox in his faith) spoke in his homily about having committed a sin against charity, ending the homily with the words “…and, yes, I went to confession”. Powerful stuff.

Some thoughts:
  • Do priests in parishes with multiple priests confess to each other? And isn’t that a bit awkward?
  • What about if —God forbid! — priests commit sins against chastity? Perhaps something they don’t want to confess to a priest they live with and see every day?
  • How often do they go? Once a month is good practice (and a practice I fail at, for the moment not my fault). Oftener is better. I believe John Paul II went every day.
  • Is it common for priests to drive to the “next parish over” in town, or a rural area, to confess to the priest there?
Some might say that I have an “unhealthy interest” in what other people do about confession, but in this case at least, these are our priests, who are supposed to be setting an example for us. I actually asked a priest once what he did about confession, and he sidestepped the issue, wouldn’t give me a straight answer. I don’t think he was hiding anything — that was just the way he was. He would answer other questions, even non-religious ones, similarly. Hey, he is a priest of God, if he had an angel alongside him, I would kiss his fingers first, because he can consecrate Our Lord and the angel can’t. No disrespect intended, far from it.

So how does it work?
 
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One priest I knew said he saw a spiritual director who was his confessor.
 
It depends on the particular priest. My old pastor would go to the church a few towns over for confession. But he didn’t wait in line in the Church like everyone else, so you wouldn’t see him there. He would go into their parish office and requested one of the priests to come down for confession.
 
I know of some priests who confess to their spiritual director. I have also occasionally seen priests in line at Confession before weekday Mass in my parish.
 
HomeschoolDad said:
In 40+ years as a Catholic, never once do I recall seeing a priest in a confession line at church.
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Well for one thing, they see each other on a full-time basis and don’t need to line up with regular parishioners during a one-hour time slot on Saturdays.
HomeschoolDad said:
Do priests in parishes with multiple priests confess to each other? And isn’t that a bit awkward?
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No more awkward than confessing to your small-town, small-parish priest who both baptized your babies and performed their marriages. I’d surmise that like us, they have the option to confessing to priests other than their immediate colleagues.
HomeschoolDad said:
What about if —God forbid! — priests commit sins against chastity? Perhaps something they don’t want to confess to a priest they live with and see every day?
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Sins against chastity aren’t a special class of sin set apart from other confessable sins. So this question doesn’t need its own special God-forbid bullet point.

Keep in mind that it’s hard to shock a priest. They hear of every kind of sin under the sun, moon, and stars. So to confess their own may not be as intimidating to them as it can be for us lay Catholics.

I don’t have answers to your last two questions, (why not ask your own priest, perhaps during your parish’s adult ed?), but I strongly doubt that that confession is the big deal to priests that you think. It’s par for the course in their profession, and the ethical priests know well that they need to keep themselves in check before leading their flocks.
 
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I knew one priest who said he went to a different parish and did not wear his clerics. I can’t remember his exact reasons for doing so, but I think he said it was so he wouldn’t be recognized and also so he could go through it like everyone else.
 
Glennon_P said:
I know of some priests who confess to their spiritual director.
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There is a term in Swedish bikfader. Wikipedia says it is confessor in English.
Sometimes it is spoken of like if Catholics and Orthodoxes have a special Priest they ask for advice and Confession.
Is it good to have a specific Priest as a confessor? I just watched a video in which a Benedictine Priest said that he liked to end a spiritual direction meeting with Confession.
 
Every priest I know has a spiritual director…I believe that it’s a requirement under Canon Law. (If that’s not correct, one of our priests or canon lawyers can set the record straight).

The role of the spiritual director is to assist the priest (or lay person; I know many people who have a spiritual director as well) is to help guide the person on their spiritual journey. They can give advice, act as a sounding board, help the person with a particular issue, etc. When I was in the seminary many years ago, each of us had a spiritual director. Mine helped me a great deal in my discernment process (I discerned that I was not called to the priesthood) but also in my spiritual life in general. I remember him fondly and pray for the happy repose of his soul.

It is not required that a person only confess to their spiritual director. Some choose to do so, but it’s not required in my experience.

Going to the same priest for Confession can be a good spiritual practice, especially if the person is dealing with a particular sin or spiritual struggle. The better the priest knows you and your situation, the better they are able to help you. However, any person can go to any priest for Confession.
 
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HomeschoolDad said:
Some might say that I have an “unhealthy interest” in what other people do about confession, but in this case at least, these are our priests , who are supposed to be setting an example for us.
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With all due respect, confession is a private matter. Do we ask our doctors about their health habits? Obviously if a doctor weighs 300 pounds and is chain smoking and wheezing, it doesn’t look good and we might shy away from taking advice from such a doctor, but if he isn’t giving us some big public reason to be concerned, we’re not going to be asking him, “Doc, which doctors do you see? And how often do you go?”

Priests have ample opportunity to be around lots of other priests all the time. If a priest needs to confess he is going to be able to find another priest or a bishop to confess to. I am not interested in nebbing into his business.
 
My brother, who is a priest, told me that they will confess to each other. If he goes to confession somewhere (like a shrine) where the confessor doesn’t know he is a priest, he is required to tell the confessor he is a priest.

One time, while on a pilgrimage, he went to confession and told the confessor he was a priest. They ended up confessing to each other.
 
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I don’t think HSDad’s asking the questions are out of line at all. I find them rather interesting.

To me the real hard question would be what priest x would do if, say, priest y confessed something truly heinous but non traditional (not murder; more like priest y himself breaking the seal of the confessional or otherwise doing something that might invalidate sacraments priest y was administering) such that priest x - who can’t reveal it - nonetheless knows of priest y’s issues. Pretty unlikely…but I’m sure it’s happened.
 
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Angel_Bradford said:
If he goes to confession somewhere (like a shrine) where the confessor doesn’t know he is a priest, he is Required to tell the confessor he is a priest.
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Heard a funny story about a seminarian who went to Confession at a parish near the seminary. He had been instructed to state that he was a seminarian when he began his Confession so the priest would have an idea about his state in life. So he began by telling the priest he was a seminarian.

When he finished with his sins the priest said, “I would point out that being a seminarian is not a sin. In fact, I’m rather glad you are in the seminary!”
 
Priests have surely heard EVERYTHING in the confessional.

I wonder if it wears on them. It must.
I would think/hope that, were I a priest, the chance to counsel folks in confession would be one of the more enjoyable/uplifting parts of the job, but I really don’t know.
 
blackforest said:
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HomeschoolDad:
What about if — God forbid! — priests commit sins against chastity? Perhaps something they don’t want to confess to a priest they live with and see every day?
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Sins against chastity aren’t a special class of sin set apart from other confessable sins. So this question doesn’t need its own special God-forbid bullet point.
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Well, yes, for a priest, they are indeed a “special class of sin”. Priests make a promise of celibacy or, if they are religious order priest, they take a vow of chastity.
Glennon_P said:
Every priest I know has a spiritual director…I believe that it’s a requirement under Canon Law. (If that’s not correct, one of our priests or canon lawyers can set the record straight).
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I didn’t know this. Never heard of this before. Good to know.
Tis_Bearself said:
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HomeschoolDad:
Some might say that I have an “unhealthy interest” in what other people do about confession, but in this case at least, these are our priests , who are supposed to be setting an example for us.
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With all due respect, confession is a private matter. Do we ask our doctors about their health habits? Obviously if a doctor weighs 300 pounds and is chain smoking and wheezing, it doesn’t look good and we might shy away from taking advice from such a doctor, but if he isn’t giving us some big public reason to be concerned, we’re not going to be asking him, “Doc, which doctors do you see? And how often do you go?”
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Yes, it is a private matter — aside from that more modern notion of “being reconciled to the community” — but as I said above, we look to priests to set an example. I can think of no better practice for a priest than for his parishioners to see him in line, perhaps every week, making his confession just like everyone else does. Recent Popes have done this, and it is very beautiful. Put another way, if you saw a priest going to confession every week, you could be pretty sure that he is holy.

I know we’ve discussed this before in the forums, but looking at the sacrament (and sin itself) through modern goggles, we are indeed answerable to one another for our sins, even if we don’t list and name them to anyone and everyone. Sin damages the Body of Christ, of which we are all a part. The recently-exposed sins (and even crimes) against chastity by many priests have almost destroyed any witness value we might have towards an unbelieving world — in the eyes of skeptics, by the way the abuse scandal was handled, the Catholic Church has lost any moral authority she might have otherwise had. Thomas Merton said that his sins were sufficient to cause the Second World War. Assuming this were true, then yes, I think the world would have a legitimate bone to pick with Thomas.

And for what it’s worth, my former GP, now retired, was very much hands-on, holistic, and deeply personal in his approach to health matters. I do believe that, from time to time, he shared with me challenges he had in maintaining his own health.
 
Great, great post. Sin damages humanity as a body. Sort of like the quip by prosecutors “there are no victimless crimes.” Good insight!
 
Tis_Bearself said:
With all due respect, confession is a private matter. Do we ask our doctors about their health habits?
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Well, actually, when somebody tells you to do such-and-so, that is an opening to ask how they personally approach the task. I don’t think that means we get to ask for a health history from our physicians, but just that if a doctor tells us to take up some general good practice it isn’t out of place to ask the doctor how he or she manages to do it.

You’re right, though: this isn’t a question to ask out of idle curiosity. If a confessor or your pastor tells you to confess regularly, though, that would be an opening to ask for personal experiences that are relevant.

It goes without saying that it would be rude to ask in an “oh, yeah, like I’m supposed to believe you do that” sort of way. A 300 lb man who wheezes may not be a chain smoker, and if he were we could not know how he came to have his size or to be addicted to cigarettes. It would be OK to say, “I’m afraid that I might try and fail. What do you do?” He might be able to relate that he used to be 400 lb but has lost weight and which ways of kicking his cigarettes that he’s tried or is considering.
 
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HomeschoolDad said:
I can think of no better practice for a priest than for his parishioners to see him in line, perhaps every week, making his confession just like everyone else does.
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Personally I would think it a better practice for a priest to go to Confession at a time different from the scheduled times in his Parish (whether that be by appointment with another priest in the same Parish, or to a different Parish) so he could be available to hear confessions if needed.
 
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