L
LittleSoldier
Guest
First of all, let me apologize for using the word “promiscuous.” I didn’t like it at the time I wrote my post, but I couldn’t think of any other word or term to use and I still can’t. I don’t think the English language has a word for what I really mean.
I had to delete most of your post because of space. Sorry. You know, when I read what you wrote I agreed with most, if not all of it, and it makes me so sad. It seems sometimes that men are indeed “wolves” and out to get what they can get; not worrying about pregnancy and knowing they can boast about their conquests and will receive accolades from their friends, who are out doing the same thing.
I don’t have a living daughter now, but if I did, I would do what my sister did with her daughters. She taught them what to expect; all the lines and games and promises. Her daughters are remarkably successful and neither of them has fallen into any sort of trap laid by men.
In some of the psychology courses I’ve taken I’ve been taught that in our society we often blame women and let men “off the hook.” They don’t know any better or that’s just the way men are. And to me, that’s a cop-out. I think it’s so important that we raise our sons to respect all people, including themselves. I honestly am sick of hearing men say they can’t help it - it’s all they think about and that makes it OK.
I guess I’ve let slip a little bit of my anger toward men and what society tells them is OK. I hate feeling like this because I think I’m objectifying men and I don’t want to do that. I’m very aware of the games some men play when all they want is sex. I don’t know if they really don’t see how cruel and hurtful and dangerous those games can be, or if they just don’t care at all. They are lucky in that they can’t get pregnant. That sounds awful, I know. But they can just get off and then leave while the woman (who oftentimes is a young teenager) ends up deserted, betrayed, and carrying a new life inside her. I think our physical readiness to have children progresses faster age-wise than our emotional ability to have children. No 12 year-old should become pregnant. Something got screwed up somewhere and I don’t know what happened.
But I do believe there is a solution (although I don’t expect it will happen anytime soon). If we educate our children to act morally, they will act morally. They really do want to trust us and do what we say.
And one more thing I would like to add - it infuriates me when young teens become pregnant and are absolutely terrified to tell their parents. There’s something wrong in a parent-child relationship when a daughter panics because she thinks (or knows) her parents will “kill her” if they find out. No parent should desert a child because she was trapped. We’re supposed to love our children, not betray their trust.
It seems that children in previous generations were taught to wait until marriage. Not all did, of course, but back then it wasn’t expected for a girl to “put out” on her first date, or even on subsequent dates. And she certainly wasn’t told she was weird for being a virgin bride.
If men “can’t help it” how come men of previous generations had more self-control? What makes the men now such weak wimps? Frankly, I think it’s another ruse some men hope we will buy into so they can have their pleasure without any consequences. It’s also the logical outcome of widespread contraception, that is, divorcing the procreative function from the sexual act.
Sex nowadays has been reduced from its sacredness and holiness to just something to do, like sports. (In fact, men refer to it in sports language like “getting to first base.”) It’s tragic that this generation has such an incredibly low, even animalistic, view of sex. Certainly God wants better for us. Sheesh, you’d think we’d want better for ourselves!
My marriage lasted for only four years before my husband died. I’ve read a lot of posts here which refer to the marriage covenant and how important sexual intercourse is to that covenant - how holy it is. To be honest, my husband and I (though deeply in love) never accepted that “holiness” stuff. To us, sex was a sharing of ourselves, but God never came into it. We never even considered that. It would have been completely alien to us. And when I read these posts I realize we missed out on something so wonderful, something that would have brought us so much closer, to the point where we would really have been “one.” And I get jealous and sad when I read those posts. I never had that and I most likely never will.
Sancta Maria! Mater dei, ora pro nobis.
