How do we deal with an Alcoholic father?

[NoGreaterLove]

My fathers drinking as of late has gotten worse.
He drinks every.day. He has no remorse for the things he has done. For goodness sake he has pissed in his room. They are raising a young child!! I had just shut the door to my room and I heard that. He makes my mom go through hell. That makes me and my siblings go through hell. My mom has told him about marriage counseling, and he says if they go they will tell my mom she did not do a good job at raising us and etc. That it will only make her look bad. My mom is a great, faithful Catholic. She’s been through hell and back for my dad. She even took care of my fathers ill parents. We are scared that one day he might do something worse to us. He claims to be this righteous man who has no sin and is on good terms with God, that he is a just, man of his word. He tells us he loves us and that we are going to go eat and this and that, and then he remembers nothing he says. He gives us false promises. I don’t believe a word he says now. He is not what he claims to be. I’ve told him to go to confession, we have told him to talk to a priest, just…something. He just drinks and drinks.

My fathers eternal fate weighs down on me. Shouldn’t it be the father being a shepherd for his children? Instead, I have educated my family about Catholicism. Me. a barely 20 year old girl. I have taken that role up. I worry about my families eternal fate. I suffer with asthma and I basically am always in pain. God is my strength. I praise God for blessing me with a Holy Priest who has been like a Father. He even encouraged me to go to college. I love him very much.

It hurts me…so.much…to embrace my crying mother. My father has no shame. He is so prideful. Pride. Pride. Pride. He can’t even apologize for disrespecting us like how he has done. He still goes out and comes back like nothing. It makes me feel like we failed him. I feel guilty. How do we get help if he does not want help, he doesn’t even admit he has a problem!! I got a green scapular to ask the Blessed Mother to convert him, and hopefully Venerable Matt Tallbot intercedes (he used to be an alcoholic)

any advice is welcome. thank you and please pray for us.

 

[tskrobacz]

My fathers drinking as of late has gotten worse.
He drinks every.day. He has no remorse for the things he has done. For goodness sake he has pissed in his room. They are raising a young child!! I had just shut the door to my room and I heard that. He makes my mom go through hell. That makes me and my siblings go through hell. My mom has told him about marriage counseling, and he says if they go they will tell my mom she did not do a good job at raising us and etc. That it will only make her look bad. My mom is a great, faithful Catholic. She’s been through hell and back for my dad. She even took care of my fathers ill parents. We are scared that one day he might do something worse to us. He claims to be this righteous man who has no sin and is on good terms with God, that he is a just, man of his word. He tells us he loves us and that we are going to go eat and this and that, and then he remembers nothing he says. He gives us false promises. I don’t believe a word he says now. He is not what he claims to be. I’ve told him to go to confession, we have told him to talk to a priest, just…something. He just drinks and drinks.

My fathers eternal fate weighs down on me. Shouldn’t it be the father being a shepherd for his children? Instead, I have educated my family about Catholicism. Me. a barely 20 year old girl. I have taken that role up. I worry about my families eternal fate. I suffer with asthma and I basically am always in pain. God is my strength. I praise God for blessing me with a Holy Priest who has been like a Father. He even encouraged me to go to college. I love him very much.

It hurts me…so.much…to embrace my crying mother. My father has no shame. He is so prideful. Pride. Pride. Pride. He can’t even apologize for disrespecting us like how he has done. He still goes out and comes back like nothing. It makes me feel like we failed him. I feel guilty. How do we get help if he does not want help, he doesn’t even admit he has a problem!! I got a green scapular to ask the Blessed Mother to convert him, and hopefully Venerable Matt Tallbot intercedes (he used to be an alcoholic)

any advice is welcome. thank you and please pray for us.

Peace be with you. Please consider joining Alanon (for families of alcoholics). The best thing you can do is love yourself by getting support from others that struggle with the horrors that alcoholism brings to families everywhere. There is hope and strength available!

 

[ClearWater]

My fathers drinking as of late has gotten worse.
He drinks every.day. He has no remorse for the things he has done. For goodness sake he has pissed in his room. They are raising a young child!! I had just shut the door to my room and I heard that. He makes my mom go through hell. That makes me and my siblings go through hell. My mom has told him about marriage counseling, and he says if they go they will tell my mom she did not do a good job at raising us and etc. That it will only make her look bad. My mom is a great, faithful Catholic. She’s been through hell and back for my dad. She even took care of my fathers ill parents. We are scared that one day he might do something worse to us. He claims to be this righteous man who has no sin and is on good terms with God, that he is a just, man of his word. He tells us he loves us and that we are going to go eat and this and that, and then he remembers nothing he says. He gives us false promises. I don’t believe a word he says now. He is not what he claims to be. I’ve told him to go to confession, we have told him to talk to a priest, just…something. He just drinks and drinks.

My fathers eternal fate weighs down on me. Shouldn’t it be the father being a shepherd for his children? Instead, I have educated my family about Catholicism. Me. a barely 20 year old girl. I have taken that role up. I worry about my families eternal fate. I suffer with asthma and I basically am always in pain. God is my strength. I praise God for blessing me with a Holy Priest who has been like a Father. He even encouraged me to go to college. I love him very much.

It hurts me…so.much…to embrace my crying mother. My father has no shame. He is so prideful. Pride. Pride. Pride. He can’t even apologize for disrespecting us like how he has done. He still goes out and comes back like nothing. It makes me feel like we failed him. I feel guilty. How do we get help if he does not want help, he doesn’t even admit he has a problem!! I got a green scapular to ask the Blessed Mother to convert him, and hopefully Venerable Matt Tallbot intercedes (he used to be an alcoholic)

any advice is welcome. thank you and please pray for us.

Naturally, your father needs to go to AA, but it doesn’t sound like he’s anywhere near ready to admit there’s a problem. Alcohol attacks the prefrontal cortex first, which controls judgement which is one reason why he can act so crazy.

I agree with the previous post. Can you go to Alanon and invite your mother to go with you?

Further, can you get counseling for yourself and your mother? Some health insurances will cover at least a few visits. There’s a lot going on, and I just think you might benefit from having someone to talk to who can be objective, neutral, know community resources, who’s had experience with these kinds of matters and can help give you some ideas.

 

[tawny]

My fathers drinking as of late has gotten worse.
He drinks every.day. He has no remorse for the things he has done. For goodness sake he has pissed in his room. They are raising a young child!! I had just shut the door to my room and I heard that. He makes my mom go through hell. That makes me and my siblings go through hell. My mom has told him about marriage counseling, and he says if they go they will tell my mom she did not do a good job at raising us and etc. That it will only make her look bad. My mom is a great, faithful Catholic. She’s been through hell and back for my dad. She even took care of my fathers ill parents. We are scared that one day he might do something worse to us. He claims to be this righteous man who has no sin and is on good terms with God, that he is a just, man of his word. He tells us he loves us and that we are going to go eat and this and that, and then he remembers nothing he says. He gives us false promises. I don’t believe a word he says now. He is not what he claims to be. I’ve told him to go to confession, we have told him to talk to a priest, just…something. He just drinks and drinks.

My fathers eternal fate weighs down on me. Shouldn’t it be the father being a shepherd for his children? Instead, I have educated my family about Catholicism. Me. a barely 20 year old girl. I have taken that role up. I worry about my families eternal fate. I suffer with asthma and I basically am always in pain. God is my strength. I praise God for blessing me with a Holy Priest who has been like a Father. He even encouraged me to go to college. I love him very much.

It hurts me…so.much…to embrace my crying mother. My father has no shame. He is so prideful. Pride. Pride. Pride. He can’t even apologize for disrespecting us like how he has done. He still goes out and comes back like nothing. It makes me feel like we failed him. I feel guilty. How do we get help if he does not want help, he doesn’t even admit he has a problem!! I got a green scapular to ask the Blessed Mother to convert him, and hopefully Venerable Matt Tallbot intercedes (he used to be an alcoholic)

any advice is welcome. thank you and please pray for us.

Praying for your Father to get the help he needs & for your family.

 

[Eric_Hyom]

Sadly, there may be something in your fathers life that he cannot cope with, alcohol is a way of blotting this out. It may be something from twenty years ago, it may be something he has done, or has had done to him, he might look on himself as a failure in some way.

It may well have something to do with forgiveness, either forgiving himself, or forgiving others, or even blaming God for his problems.

My dad died an alcoholic, he started drinking when he was around fifty, he could not seem to cope when my mum had multiple sclerosis, she gradually lost the use of her legs, then her arms. My dad was the dominant force in the family, he was not going to listen to his children, or his wife.

I think all you can do is pray for him and your family, pray for the strength to do God’s will, we have no power to change any one else.

Lord grant me the peace and serenity to live with the things I cannot change,
Give me the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.

 

[anonymous_in_fl]

You and your family need Al-Anon, which is FREE help for families and friends of alcoholics. Here is the website: al-anon.alateen.org

You do not have to suffer. There is help available.