How do we know if we are truly repentant?

[willsmith94]

For years, I have been addicted to several mortal sins. I hate commiting these sins and frequently receive the sacrament of reconcilation as soon as I can. I try to repent and never to commit the sins again, but then I fall back and commit them once again. Over the past couple years, I have been slowly cutting down on the times that I commit these sins. I feel glad that I am making progress, yet I still feel terrible for committing these sins after periods of not commiting them. Every time I commit these sins, I think to myself, do I really hate these sins? Am I truly repentant when I claim to repent against these sins? I may feel as though I am truly sorry for committing these sins, but am I truly sorry if I continue to keep committing them? If I was truly sorry for my sins, I would never commit them again, correct? My main question is how do we know if we are truly repentant?

 

[dshix]

For years, I have been addicted to several mortal sins. I hate commiting these sins and frequently receive the sacrament of reconcilation as soon as I can. I try to repent and never to commit the sins again, but then I fall back and commit them once again. Over the past couple years, I have been slowly cutting down on the times that I commit these sins. I feel glad that I am making progress, yet I still feel terrible for committing these sins after periods of not commiting them. Every time I commit these sins, I think to myself, do I really hate these sins? Am I truly repentant when I claim to repent against these sins? I may feel as though I am truly sorry for committing these sins, but am I truly sorry if I continue to keep committing them? If I was truly sorry for my sins, I would never commit them again, correct? My main question is how do we know if we are truly repentant?

Repentance is an act of the will. From what I read here, it would appear that you are certainly exercising your will to the best of your ability to avoid committing these sins again and to be sorry for them.

The reason you continue to fall for sin, even though you have repented those sins many times, is because of our fallen human nature. Your flesh is weak, though your spirit may be strong. Satan knows that your flesh is weak to these sins, and so he continues to tempt you.

Keep fighting and making progress. I am glad to see that you can see the progress you have already made; that should help to confirm and strengthen you.

If you can, find a strong Catholic group of individuals who you can bond with and who will keep you accountable. Find books which will inspire you to have greater remorse for sin. Receive the sacraments frequently, especially Confession and Holy Communion.

Fight on. And when you get discouraged, don’t try to fight alone, but pray for the aid of your mother Mary and search for the counsel of those here on earth who can help you with encouragement and guidance.

 

[Mystical_Seeker]

You can be truly sorry, and still do it again.

Sometimes I make the same type mistake several times until I learn how to avoid it, and hopefully that does happen at some point.

I’d ask myself what am I doing to reduce it in the future, other than will power? Really “will power” methods are kind like trying to out-bravado your own instincts, and works for some people but not me and probably not most I’d guess.

You might want to check out some of Fr. Barron’s videos on Seven Deadly Sins. He has a DVD course I took once and it’s way more interesting than you might think. It talks of a Mount Purgatory from Dante’s Divine Comedy, which categorizes them and btw they are sinful tendencies, not actually sinful acts.

Another issue is whether it’s mortal. If you are honestly “addicted” then I don’t know whether “free consent” is given, but that might be something to look into with more informed sources. On the other hand, I think most addictions are emotional, and even the term “addiction” itself offers protection to the degree we have people addicted to believing they are addicted, which adds one more layer onto the onion.

Also you might want to get a journal and write about your thoughts and feelings from time to time, and see if you can tell a difference between times you are and are not in periods of weakness.