How do we know - or can we? - what God's will is for our lives?

[distracted]

I have been praying hard about exactly what God wants me to do with my life. I feel lost and confused a lot of the time and sometimes feel i am wasting my time trying to figure it out… Sometimes i feel i should just do what i can and forget about trying to go beyond that…
I know God wants me to ASK him what he wants - but when i do, i don’t always get much of an answer, or i get an “answer” that doesn’t seem “right” somehow…
I would like your comments, suggestions…

 

[dulcissima]

I’m not really sure if there is a particular issue in your life that you are worrying about. If so, I would suggest talking to your priest.

Other than that, I don’t think there is a really narrow prescribed list of what God wants each of us to do. I think he gave us all a unique combination of talents and passions, and that if we are honest with ourselves, we’ll know if we are headed in the right direction. A lot of times there could be many different routes that will keep you going in the right direction. As far as knowing if it is what God wants for you, I would say just make sure that you are being true to following his commandments and talk to him a lot. Tell him what you really want, but also take the time to listen. That way if you encounter roadblocks, you might be better able to discern whether or not they are obstacles designed to strengthen and refine your love and faith for him, or whether they are indications that you are too focused on what you want and aren’t open enough to being redirected by God. Again, if there is something that is troubling you, I would talk to your priest for guidance.

 

[Kristine1957]

If the answer dosn’t seem right to you then it probably isnt… God will answer you in his time… Just be open and ready for any answer… He will guide you…and be patient but most important listen… not what you want to hear but what he wants you to hear…

 

[deekod1967]

Again, if there is something that is troubling you, I would talk to your priest for guidance.

I would second this - if your Priest isnt very forthcoming then “shop around” different Parishes for Confession and discuss the issue. In any case, you will know when the time is right what God wants for you.

I was absolutely convinced God wanted me to become a religious, and I had been staying at an Abbey on odd weekends. My local Priest happened to administrate the Diocesan annual pilgrimage to help the sick at Lourdes, I offered my services. Once there I met a wonderful woman who lived near me, we both “clicked” instantly. At confession, a Lourdes Priest told me to allow both paths to continue in tandem for a while, then God will show me which one is my vocation. He was right, within weeks we were in love, and the next summer I came back to Lourdes and proposed to her, we are now happily married with two lovely girls.

As the old Scottish saying goes “what is for you will not go by you” - so dont worry - you will find your vocation, but sometimes you need to speak to a Priest to help things along.

 

[cheese_sdc]

I have been praying hard about exactly what God wants me to do with my life. I feel lost and confused a lot of the time and sometimes feel i am wasting my time trying to figure it out… Sometimes i feel i should just do what i can and forget about trying to go beyond that…
I know God wants me to ASK him what he wants - but when i do, i don’t always get much of an answer, or i get an “answer” that doesn’t seem “right” somehow…
I would like your comments, suggestions…

I went through the same dilemma - I prayed and prayed to find out “God’s Will for my life” and discerned and listened and just exhausted myself trying to figure it out.

So I stopped.

And I realized that we do God’s will by following the Commandants, doing the Corporal and Spiritual Works of Mercy, and by living the Beatitudes.

After that, you can drive yourself crazy “praying to find God’s will for your life”.

There are precious few “decision points” in life - whether to go to college or not. Choice of vocation. Choice of spouse. Choice of career (even that will change). Those are the things that we seek God on, but even then, I don’t think that there is a right or wrong answer.

And them sometimes we get so wrapped up in making sure we make the “right” decision, that we don’t make a decision at all.

Which is the worst thing to do.

 

[jrabs]

I went through the same dilemma - I prayed and prayed to find out “God’s Will for my life” and discerned and listened and just exhausted myself trying to figure it out.

Great point. I believe that when something is God’s will, He will make it easy. Like something falling into your lap or coming to you naturally - like getting a job out of the blue, or happening upon a relationship with out the usual struggles.

 

[Dirk_Skene]

Try the Spiritual Exercises by St. Ignatius. But do not do it on your own. It is better to do them with a spiritual advisor. Good luck with your dicernment. :angel1:

 

[Sr_Sally]

There are precious few “decision points” in life - whether to go to college or not. Choice of vocation. Choice of spouse. Choice of career (even that will change). Those are the things that we seek God on, but even then, I don’t think that there is a right or wrong answer.

Really only the Sacrements that leave an indeliable mark on your soul (and Marriage) are ‘forever’ decisions. If you don’t go to college right out of high school, you can usually go later. Careers can be changed. Of course, marriage should be looked on as ‘forever’ since we don’t want to be in the position of hoping our spouse will die!

As others have said, if you are following the commandements and seeking to lead a holy life (not necessarily a life in Holy Orders), you are within God’s will.

For most people, the even big decisions do not have to have a neon sign from heaven to be wothin God’s will. You can be a light for Christ in almost any career/job (and obviously you aren’t going to choose a sinful job like selling drugs!), living in any city, even being married to a choice of spouses (look at Thomas More, 2 different wives–completely different women–and he was a wonderful husband to both).

Seeking a priest’s guidance is a wonderful idea. But don’t expect the priest to tell you exactly what to do. Outside of a vow of obedience, you need to make those decisions yourself.

 

[JimR-OCDS]

I learned a while ago that trying discern God’s will for me, was more of a matter of dettachment. I had to let go, what I was desiring at the moment, and allow God to walk be through the process of decision making. This isn’t as easy as I’m making it sound, but I know that when I’m following his will, the doors swing wide open. When I’m following my own will, the doors either slam shut or not even come into the picture.

As for going to college or not, right out of high-school? GO!!!
It’s a lot tougher to go later on in life, when work and family commitments will take priority.

My son, fought against me and did not go to college when he got out high-school. He wanted to work at the company that he now works at, but hates. However, he’s now married and has a home. The job schedule makes it impossible to commit to class schedules, so he’s stuck in a dead in job which he hates.

So, if you have the opportunity to do it now, do so!

Jim

 

[InLight247]

My SD once said that God’s will and our own will are often mixed together in things. I think he is right on. We ought to earnestly seek God’s will. But keep in mind that God also allows common sense, personal attributes, and desire of our hearts to play part in our decision making. Wisdom consists of common sense, our own intellect, assessment of the situation, good advice from family and friends, also inspiration and peace from prayers.

 

[contramundum7]

I went through the same dilemma - I prayed and prayed to find out “God’s Will for my life” and discerned and listened and just exhausted myself trying to figure it out.

So I stopped.

And I realized that we do God’s will by following the Commandants, doing the Corporal and Spiritual Works of Mercy, and by living the Beatitudes.

After that, you can drive yourself crazy “praying to find God’s will for your life”.

There are precious few “decision points” in life - whether to go to college or not. Choice of vocation. Choice of spouse. Choice of career (even that will change). Those are the things that we seek God on, but even then, I don’t think that there is a right or wrong answer.

And them sometimes we get so wrapped up in making sure we make the “right” decision, that we don’t make a decision at all.

Which is the worst thing to do.

Yes! This is what i was doing - driving myself crazy. I finally just let go - or am trying to. I still ask Him questions and sometimes get “answers” & try to go by those answers, but when it doesn’t make sense or whatever, i tell myself that my “vocation” is not my GOD… I was guilty of worshipping my vocation instead of God… & forgot, in the process, that God loves me (etc…).
I also came to realize that i was, as you say, so wrapped up in making sure i did the right thing, that i did virtually nothing at all…
Thank you - and everyone - for the responses. Even though i have had similar things revealed 2 me, i SO needed to hear that my thoughts were OK - and/or that i am not the only one who goes through this kind of thing. I isolate a lot, so it was good to get (name removed by moderator)ut… God bless.

 

[puzzleannie]

Ordinarily God’s will for your life is that you faithfully carry out the duties and responsibilities of your current state in life. If you are a child you obey your parents and teachers, work hard in school, do your homework, study, do your household chores, help your family etc. If you are a an employee, you put in a full day’s honest work for a full day’s pay, discharge duties honestly and faithfully, obey company policy where it does not conflict with morality etc. If you are a parent you are faithful to your marriage vows, raise your children in the faith, love your spouse and children etc.

It is highly unlikely that God’s will for you involves abandoning a prior commitment or responsibility. He is not likely to tell a married woman to abandon her husband and children in order to become a missionary to China, for instance.

If you are the stage of life where you are discerning a vocation, whether to priesthood, religious or consecrated life, or marriage, spiritual direction is exceedingly valuable. The best direction of all is that obtained by preparing for and receiving the sacrament of Confirmation. This sacrament confers the gifts of the Holy Spirit, wisdom, counsel, knowledge, understanding, fortitude, piety and fear of the Lord, which are the tools we need to discern God’s will in the broad plan for our life, as well as in smaller decisions.

Many times when we pray to God with a specific question, we are expecting a specific answer, and we refuse to listen to Him unless and until we hear that answer.

 

[leonie]

thereasonforourhope.org/online_order/cart_detail.php?productID=108

Father Larry Richards has a new talk on this topic.

 

[guanophore]

i tell myself that my "vocation" is not my GOD... I was guilty of worshipping my vocation instead of God... & forgot, in the process, that God loves me (etc...).

Well, yes and no. God wants to be fully present in our lives. Our vocation, whether religious or secular, our relations with our families, etc. You can read about this in the first epistle of Peter.

1 Peter 3:8-9

8 Finally, all of you, have unity of spirit, sympathy, love of the brethren, a tender heart and a humble mind. 9 Do not return evil for evil or reviling for reviling; but on the contrary bless, for to this you have been called, that you may obtain a blessing

In some venues, these principles take a lifetime of effort to apply!

1 Peter 4:10
10 As each has received a gift, employ it for one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace:

The gift that God has given you should be used in a state of God’s grace.

2 Peter 1:5-11
5 For this very reason make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, 6 and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, 7 and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. 8 For if these things are yours and abound, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9 For whoever lacks these things is blind and shortsighted and has forgotten that he was cleansed from his old sins. 10 Therefore, brethren, be the more zealous to confirm your call and election, for if you do this you will never fall; 11 so there will be richly provided for you an entrance into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

This describes that path to sanctification, developing the fruit of the spirit in our state of life. This is God’s will for our lives. Adn, it comes with promises. “they keep you from being ineffective and unfruitful”, or said in a positive, “they keep you effective and fruitful in the knowledge of our Lord” also “if you do this you will never fall”…

So, bloom where you are planted, and God will take care of the rest!

 

[distracted]

I’m not really sure if there is a particular issue in your life that you are worrying about. If so, I would suggest talking to your priest.

Other than that, I don’t think there is a really narrow prescribed list of what God wants each of us to do. I think he gave us all a unique combination of talents and passions, and that if we are honest with ourselves, we’ll know if we are headed in the right direction. A lot of times there could be many different routes that will keep you going in the right direction. As far as knowing if it is what God wants for you, I would say just make sure that you are being true to following his commandments and talk to him a lot. Tell him what you really want, but also take the time to listen. That way if you encounter roadblocks, you might be better able to discern whether or not they are obstacles designed to strengthen and refine your love and faith for him, or whether they are indications that you are too focused on what you want and aren’t open enough to being redirected by God. Again, if there is something that is troubling you, I would talk to your priest for guidance.

Actually, i am probably “too” focused on what God wants… or seems 2 want. I know that i do not want to do certain things i htink he wants me to do… I say 'too" focused because trying to figure out what God wants can be crazy-making…
There is one particular issue i had in mind when writing the post/thread… Sometimes i get sentences in my head, telling me to do something but that something leads to… both good & bad results… The bad doesn’t involve sin so i don’t know whether i am hearing from God or the devil or whatever… i just gave up, decided to do what i thought was from God and give the consequences to him… I tell myself: Who am i to question God? If that’s what he wants, well, he certainly knows more than i do…

I have talked to priests about it… But frankly, doing that has often caused more confusion… I may have found a suitable priest,though… just a few days ago.
Thanks for the (name removed by moderator)ut. It helps a lot. God bless…

 

[distracted]

Ordinarily God’s will for your life is that you faithfully carry out the duties and responsibilities of your current state in life. If you are a child you obey your parents and teachers, work hard in school, do your homework, study, do your household chores, help your family etc. If you are a an employee, you put in a full day’s honest work for a full day’s pay, discharge duties honestly and faithfully, obey company policy where it does not conflict with morality etc. If you are a parent you are faithful to your marriage vows, raise your children in the faith, love your spouse and children etc.

It is highly unlikely that God’s will for you involves abandoning a prior commitment or responsibility. He is not likely to tell a married woman to abandon her husband and children in order to become a missionary to China, for instance.

If you are the stage of life where you are discerning a vocation, whether to priesthood, religious or consecrated life, or marriage, spiritual direction is exceedingly valuable. The best direction of all is that obtained by preparing for and receiving the sacrament of Confirmation. This sacrament confers the gifts of the Holy Spirit, wisdom, counsel, knowledge, understanding, fortitude, piety and fear of the Lord, which are the tools we need to discern God’s will in the broad plan for our life, as well as in smaller decisions.

Many times when we pray to God with a specific question, we are expecting a specific answer, and we refuse to listen to Him unless and until we hear that answer.

i was confirmed as a child… Thanks for the confirmation that those things are the most important in doing God’s will. I knew most of that in my head… but my heart, well, that’s a different story altogether…

 

[distracted]

Well, yes and no. God wants to be fully present in our lives. Our vocation, whether religious or secular, our relations with our families, etc. You can read about this in the first epistle of Peter.

1 Peter 3:8-9

8 Finally, all of you, have unity of spirit, sympathy, love of the brethren, a tender heart and a humble mind. 9 Do not return evil for evil or reviling for reviling; but on the contrary bless, for to this you have been called, that you may obtain a blessing

In some venues, these principles take a lifetime of effort to apply!

1 Peter 4:10
10 As each has received a gift, employ it for one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace:

The gift that God has given you should be used in a state of God’s grace.

2 Peter 1:5-11
5 For this very reason make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, 6 and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, 7 and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. 8 For if these things are yours and abound, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9 For whoever lacks these things is blind and shortsighted and has forgotten that he was cleansed from his old sins. 10 Therefore, brethren, be the more zealous to confirm your call and election, for if you do this you will never fall; 11 so there will be richly provided for you an entrance into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

This describes that path to sanctification, developing the fruit of the spirit in our state of life. This is God’s will for our lives. Adn, it comes with promises. “they keep you from being ineffective and unfruitful”, or said in a positive, “they keep you effective and fruitful in the knowledge of our Lord” also “if you do this you will never fall”…

So, bloom where you are planted, and God will take care of the rest!

Great advice - and also very difficult advice 4 someone like me 2 follow - someone who never was able to trust anyone… from parents & siblings to everyone else… I can’t even trust myself… uch: