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Nick
Guest
I am scrupulous and I am often troubled by this question. How do we know when we have made a full and free consent of the will? I know that this probably seems like a very silly question, but I honestly have trouble discerning when I have made a full consent of my will, especially as regards impure thoughts. For example: when I am watching TV with others and something horribly impure comes on the screen I immediately look away and begin praying for strength (If I am by myself I would obviously change the channel most times, but this is not possible when watching with a group of people who may or may not be tempted as I am). However, some times in the midst of my prayer for strength I will look back at the screen while the impure images are still on it!!! I don’t why I do this, sometimes I think that I act out of compulsion, like when you tell yourself “don’t think about that, don’t think about that” so then of course the only thing you can think about is that thing you told yourself not to think about. Would I be right in thinking that as long as I am trying to resist the the temptations, no matter how bad a job I am doing at it, that I am not sinning? I really don’t think that I looked back up at the screen for the intention of becoming sexually aroused, for one thing I did not become sexually aroused, which you would think would be a natural consequence of fully desiring to be sexually aroused, right? Another thing is that the power of the temptation is often so strong that I don’t know if I am thinking clearly. I am obviously very confused, and sometimes I feel as if I am going out of mind, literally, with worry about mortal sin and hell. I appreciate any advice anyone might have, thanks.
