How do we live with sorrow?

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MariaChristi

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Dear Brothers and Sisters,

Truly on this earth, there is not one who does not suffer in some way – either through our own sins or the sins of others. Jesus, Mary and Joseph suffered, and so must we. The question is: “How do we live with sorrow?” There are often feelings of sorrow when we are called to suffer, yet we read in the lives of saints, the graces they received to endure whatever suffering, whatever sorrow, the Lord permits in their lives, uniting their sufferings with the enormous and inconceivable sufferings Jesus endured in His Passion.

This morning, I read the following from St. Faustina’s “Diary”:
Sorrow will not establish itself in a heart which loves the will of God. My heart, longing for God, feels the whole misery of exile. I keep going forward bravely --though my feet become wounded – to my homeland and, on the way, I nourish myself on the will of God. It is my food. Help me happy inhabitants of the heavenly homeland, so that your sister may not falter on the way. Although the desert is fearful, I walk with lifted head and eyes fixed on the sun; that is to say, on the merciful Heart of Jesus.
The “secret” I hear in this entry to her Diary, is that St. Faustina, by God’s Grace, did not allow sorrow to “establish itself” because she loved the will of God; kept going bravely; being nourished by the will of God; her eyes were fixed on the Merciful Heart of Jesus.

St. Faustina, pray for us.
Our Lady of Sorrows, pray for us.
Jesus, I trust in You!
 
Thank you for posting this. I have often wondered about this, esp when meditating on the 5th Joyful Mystery and Mary’s feeling of anxiety. So feel it, but do not allow to to establish itself!
 
Just hold on, keep your head raised, and count it all toward your penance.

And watch out for your emotions. Sorrow can easily turn to anger, having nowhere else to go, so don’t kick yourself in the pants if you become angry in situations that don’t really require it, but pray for the grace to never cause hurt that then needs to be made right.

ICXC NIKA
 
The Opening Prayer for the Mass of Our Lady of Sorrows sums up beautifully the message the Church wants us to hear and to find consolation in as we contemplate Mary’s sufferings:

“O God, who willed that,
when your Son was lifted high on the Cross,
his Mother should stand close by and share his suffering,
grant that your Church,
participating with the Virgin Mary in the Passion of Christ,
may merit a share in his Resurrection.”

From:

A MOTHER’S TEARS
A RETREAT GUIDE ON OUR LADY OF SORROWS
Produced by Coronation


Written & presented by Fr. John Bartunek, LC, S.Th.D.

Peace
 
Thank you for posting this. I have often wondered about this, esp when meditating on the 5th Joyful Mystery and Mary’s feeling of anxiety. So feel it, but do not allow to to establish itself!
Dear St. Francis,

Thanks for your reply. It is a “simple” thing perhaps to say, but only by God’s Grace can we refuse to let sorrow “establish itself” in our hearts. If we truly love God’s will, however, we will prove our love in our willingness to endure the suffering He has permitted. Love makes all the difference – Love poured into our hearts by God Himself enables us to keep our eyes on Jesus, keep going bravely, being nourished by His Will. As Jesus said, “My food is to do the will of Him who sent Me”. Our Hearts were made by Love for love. Let us learn from Him as Mary and the saints did to be Merciful even in sorrow.
 
By practicing patience.
Dear puzzled,

Thanks for your reply. Certainly “patience” is necessary for us and God permits our trials that we may learn patience. Patience is a fruit of the Holy Spirit Who has been poured forth into our hearts at Baptism. How we need to keep open to the work of the Holy Spirit, bringing us into the complete Truth. (cf John 16:13)
 
Just hold on, keep your head raised, and count it all toward your penance.

And watch out for your emotions. Sorrow can easily turn to anger, having nowhere else to go, so don’t kick yourself in the pants if you become angry in situations that don’t really require it, but pray for the grace to never cause hurt that then needs to be made right.

ICXC NIKA
Dear GEddie,

Thanks for your reply, Yes, by God’s grace we can hold on and count it all -not only toward doing penance-- but also “count it all joy” as James wrote in His Letter (James 1: 2-4).

We also need to “watch out”, as you said, for the emotions which sorrow can bring, like anger. Sometimes, however, anger can be good if it is directed properly agains some evil; for instance we can be “angry” at the evil of abortion, which saddens us greatly, yet we can channel our energy into finding ways to help men and women to see the evil and correct it.

Again, we need to pray to the Holy Spirit to guide us into the complete Truth (cf John 16:13) in order to discern our own spirit – whether or not we are truly seeking God’s Will.
Sometimes we need to discern the spirit of others in order not to follow their lead but only to continue following Jesus, in mind and heart.
 
The Opening Prayer for the Mass of Our Lady of Sorrows sums up beautifully the message the Church wants us to hear and to find consolation in as we contemplate Mary’s sufferings:

“O God, who willed that,
when your Son was lifted high on the Cross,
his Mother should stand close by and share his suffering,
grant that your Church,
participating with the Virgin Mary in the Passion of Christ,
may merit a share in his Resurrection.”

Peace
Dear hazcompat,

Thanks for your reply and the beautiful icon. I have a book of icons I sometimes use when praying my Rosary. The one you posted is in that book. Mary is our Mother and Model, and we need to obey Jesus’ words from the Cross: “Behold your Mother”. We need to obey, as John did, by taking Mary into our lives.

Mary is, as the Catechism of the Catholic Church has called her, the “Escatological Icon of the Church”. The prayer which you posted from the Mass of Our Lady of Sorrows, can help us “see” by faith, more clearly how to live as Mary did with the sorrows God permits: keeping His Word in our hearts, prayerfully, cooperating with His Grace by the power of His Holy Spirit. This is the work of a lifetime – grace builds on grace, in humble hearts.

“O God, who willed that,
when your Son was lifted high on the Cross,
his Mother should stand close by and share his suffering,
grant that your Church,
participating with the Virgin Mary in the Passion of Christ,
may merit a share in his Resurrection.”
 
Sorrow will not establish itself in a heart which loves the will of God. My heart, longing for God, feels the whole misery of exile. I keep going forward bravely --though my feet become wounded – to my homeland and, on the way, I nourish myself on the will of God. It is my food. Help me happy inhabitants of the heavenly homeland, so that your sister may not falter on the way. Although the desert is fearful, I walk with lifted head and eyes fixed on the sun; that is to say, on the merciful Heart of Jesus.
Having felt the misery of exile, it was the realization of it being God’s Will that brought healing to my heart. He slowly revealed to me ‘why’ the exile. He loves me. Yet, like some refugees who never return to their homeland even though God brings them to a ‘new’ home, my heart is not whole, and still pines for home. Feels like God and me are at a train station waiting together. He is there to keep me company. I need to stop envying the people coming and going on to their destination. They come and go but I am sitting with God. This is not home. He will let me go home with Him, someday.
 
Having felt the misery of exile, it was the realization of it being God’s Will that brought healing to my heart. He slowly revealed to me ‘why’ the exile. He loves me. Yet, like some refugees who never return to their homeland even though God brings them to a ‘new’ home, my heart is not whole, and still pines for home. Feels like God and me are at a train station waiting together. He is there to keep me company. I need to stop envying the people coming and going on to their destination. They come and go but I am sitting with God. This is not home. He will let me go home with Him, someday.
My dearest sister in Jesus,

Yes, I share your longing for our true home, and I too feel the pain of exile, yet we have the beatiful example of our Mother Mary who also had to wait on this earth until it was God’s Will for her to be taken home. Love of God’s will truly enables us to suffer the exile with joy – that joy which is a fruit of the Holy Spirit. St. Faustina spoke God’s Truth in her Dairy, when she shared these words :
Sorrow will not establish itself in a soul who loves the will of God…
Sorrow will not “take over” or rule when only Love rules in the soul who loves God’s Will. Thanks so much for your reply. Let us “count it all joy” in embracing each cross He allows us to carry by the power of His Holy Spirit. His Spirit of Love has been poured forth into our hearts that we may remain in His Love. St. Catherine of Siena wrote that all the way to heaven is heaven, for Jesus said: “I am the Way…” 🙂
 
Sorrow will not establish itself in a heart which loves the will of God.
With all due respect and not knowing who wrote that, I don’t agree. Remember Who was called the Man of Sorrows.

ICXC NIKA
 
With all due respect and not knowing who wrote that, I don’t agree. Remember Who was called the Man of Sorrows.

ICXC NIKA
Dear GEddie,

The words are taken from the “Diary of St. Faustina.” the book’s subtitle is “Divine Mercy in my Soul”.
Remember that Jesus as the Man of Sorrows, and Mary as Mother of Sorrows, did not let sorrow “establish itself” in their hearts.

Jesus in His Agony, recorded for us in the Gospel of Matthew, gives us a striking picture of Jesus in His Sorrow:
The Agony in the Garden. Mt 26: 36 -46
36 Then Jesus came with them to a place called Gethsemane,* and he said to his disciples, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.”r
37 He took along Peter and the two sons of Zebedee,* and began to feel sorrow and distress.
38Then he said to them, “My soul is sorrowful even to death.*Remain here and keep watch with me.”
39 He advanced a little and fell prostrate in prayer, saying, “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me; yet, not as I will, but as you will.”
40 When he returned to his disciples he found them asleep. He said to Peter, “So you could not keep watch with me for one hour?
41Watch and pray that you may not undergo the test. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”
42 Withdrawing a second time, he prayed again, “My Father, if it is not possible that this cup pass without my drinking it, your will be done!”
43 Then he returned once more and found them asleep, for they could not keep their eyes open.
44 He left them and withdrew again and prayed a third time, saying the same thing again.
45 Then he returned to his disciples and said to them, “Are you still sleeping and taking your rest? Behold, the hour is at hand when the Son of Man is to be handed over to sinners.
46 Get up, let us go. Look, my betrayer is at hand.”
Notice the underlined parts in which Jesus gives us the example of what we can do if we hope to let Love for the Father’s will rule our hearts. Jesus prays to the Father, and asks that the Father’s will be done. Jesus does not let sorrow rule His Heart, but rather love for His Father’s will.

St. Faustina knew the temptation to be so overcome by sorrow that she would not “get up and go forward”. If she let sorrow “establish itself” in her soul, she would have remained troubled. Jesus also told his disciples at the Last Supper: Do not let your hearts be troubled. You have faith in God; have faith also in me." (John 14:1) I believe the words of saints are trustworthy, because they listened to Jesus as Mary our Mother did and like Mary, saints do the Truth they hear. Hope that helps to clarify.
 
Sorrow will not establish itself in a heart which loves the will of God.

I’m currently and unexpectedly at a crossroads of sorts, so this is exactly what I needed to hear (see?). Thank you for posting it. Though my present situation might not conclude as I hope, not even the least desirable outcome can destroy me if I embrace it as the will of God.

May the Lord bless you, MariaChristi!
 
Sorrow will not establish itself in a heart which loves the will of God.

I’m currently and unexpectedly at a crossroads of sorts, so this is exactly what I needed to hear (see?). Thank you for posting it. Though my present situation might not conclude as I hope, not even the least desirable outcome can destroy me if I embrace it as the will of God.

May the Lord bless you, MariaChristi!
Dear UpUpAndAway,

Thanks for your reply. Yes, I believe all of us are at “crossroads of sorts” every day, for we are constantly choosing which way is God’s way for us. We can be certain that God’s will is always good, and so when making our choices, it seems to me, we need to pray for His Grace to discern what is truly His Will for us. In the Gospel Reading from John 14, for today’s Mass we hear Jesus tell His Disciples:
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you.
Not as the world gives do I give it to you.
Do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid…
I underlined the last sentence becasue for me it confirms the words St. Faustina wrote in her “Diary”:
Sorrow will not establish itself in a heart which loves the will of God.
We can choose to love God’s Will or we can choose to let ourselves be troubled and afraid. We can actually let “sorrow establish itself” in our hearts in such a way that it can blind us to everything but our own sorrow. On the contrary, if we choose God;s Will as Jesus and Mary constantly chose to do God’s Will in their lives here on earth, we open ourselves to that Peace which surpasses understanding – the Peace of Christ – which is a fruit of the Holy Spirit.

Jesus and the Father sent the Holy Spirit, to be “another Advocate” for the Church to bring us into the complete Truth, after Jesus ascended at Pentecost. How we need to pray to be docile to the Holy Spirit, learning to choose whatever God permits, or directly wills, in our lives. As you said, "Though my present situation might not conclude as I hope, not even the least desirable outcome can destroy me if I embrace it as the will of God. By God’s Grace, may you and all of us truly unite our wills to the Will of God lovingly today and everyday. Without Him we can do nothing but with Him we can learn to love and do His Will more completely moment by moment.
 
Here is what I listen to each morning. Strange as it may sound, it lifts my spirit up where nothing worldly can touch it. It’s a safe haven for me!

youtube.com/watch?v=oZ9om4YElns
Dear Robert,

Thanks for your reply and for the link to the Stations of the Cross by St. Francis of Assisi. It is truly by pondering God’s immeasurable Love for us in the Passion of Jesus, we can learn how by God’s Grace to live with sorrow.
 
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