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HeWillProvide
Guest
How can we overcome envying others who have great successes of which we are jealous?
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cmscms
Guest
Well, I would love to know the answer to that one as well. However, here is my opinion (and I admit someone probably could have better advice)
1-)Not everyone has everything handed to them on a silver spoon. Some people act like it is easy for them on the outside but perhaps they made more sacrifices than they let on.
2-) Just because they have success today does not mean they will have it tomorrow (think of all the actors from the 80s we never hear about anymore)
3-) How do you know you won’t have success tomorrow. Perhaps the best is yet to come in your life
CM
1-)Not everyone has everything handed to them on a silver spoon. Some people act like it is easy for them on the outside but perhaps they made more sacrifices than they let on.
2-) Just because they have success today does not mean they will have it tomorrow (think of all the actors from the 80s we never hear about anymore)
3-) How do you know you won’t have success tomorrow. Perhaps the best is yet to come in your life
CM
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Monte_RCMS
Guest
I used to envy some really successful people. Then I got to know a couple of them and they have exactly the same problems that the families I know that are less successful.
Children that die young. Serious illnesses. Financial reverses. Dumb decisions. Dopey mistakes. Fatal accidents. Excessive alcohol consumption.
The one thing that they do seem to have is resiliance.
They seem to bounce back more easily from misfortune than I do.
But what I have found is that resiliance is something that I can develop. Instead of sitting and wallowing in my misery, I can get to work fixing and repairing and rebuilding. My budget may be smaller, but I can get cranking and fix things.
The other thing is this. Smile.
I know it sounds trite.
But if you stand up, pull your shoulders back and smile, somehow, things just don’t seem as bad. A smile creates a positive outlook. Try it. Sounds strange. But it works every time.
The other thing is to say a lot of Hail Marys. Works great. Fill in slack time, like when stuck in traffic, with Hail Marys.
Children that die young. Serious illnesses. Financial reverses. Dumb decisions. Dopey mistakes. Fatal accidents. Excessive alcohol consumption.
The one thing that they do seem to have is resiliance.
They seem to bounce back more easily from misfortune than I do.
But what I have found is that resiliance is something that I can develop. Instead of sitting and wallowing in my misery, I can get to work fixing and repairing and rebuilding. My budget may be smaller, but I can get cranking and fix things.
The other thing is this. Smile.
I know it sounds trite.
But if you stand up, pull your shoulders back and smile, somehow, things just don’t seem as bad. A smile creates a positive outlook. Try it. Sounds strange. But it works every time.
The other thing is to say a lot of Hail Marys. Works great. Fill in slack time, like when stuck in traffic, with Hail Marys.
T
Trishie
Guest
If we find ourselves envying…
however unlike doing so we may feel,
we make ourselves consciously choose to praise and thank God for their successes.
We can’t always help our feelings,
but we can chase them out with generous attitudes,
and if we can’t,
our choice to express thanks and praise to God for others’ good fortune,
whatever our feelings,
may be the best we can manage, and is pleasing to God.
however unlike doing so we may feel,
we make ourselves consciously choose to praise and thank God for their successes.
We can’t always help our feelings,
but we can chase them out with generous attitudes,
and if we can’t,
our choice to express thanks and praise to God for others’ good fortune,
whatever our feelings,
may be the best we can manage, and is pleasing to God.
J
JRKH
Guest
By counting our blessings.
Substitute - “Thank God I have…” for “I wish I had…”
I couldn’t help but think of this old song.
Counting your Blessings - From the Movie White Christmas.
When i’m worried and i can’t sleep
i count my blessings instead of sheep and i fall asleep counting my blessings
when my bankroll is getting small i think of when i had none at all
and i fall asleep counting my blessings.
I think about a nursery,
and i picture curly heads,
and one by one i count them
as they slumber in their beds.
If you’re worried and you cant sleep,
just count your blessings instead of sheep
and you’ll fall asleep counting your blessings.
(Irving Berlin)
Peace
James
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Bendecida
Guest
I have the same exact problem HeWillProvide. The first person to respond did have a good point about not everyone having success tomorrow. Case in point: Jennifer Aniston, 'nuff said. I say stick to prayer. 
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Trishie
Guest
JRKH is correct. The other part f not envying others is to have gratitude for what you do have.
Have you noticed that ingratitude seems very much the sin of Eden?
God had given so many gifts, and instead of being thankful for what they did have, Adam and Eve focussed and grabbed for the only thing they didn’t have.
The challenge is for each of us to become aware of all the blessings we actually do have.
It is easy to be dismissive and unimaginative about our personal blessings.
Have you noticed that ingratitude seems very much the sin of Eden?
God had given so many gifts, and instead of being thankful for what they did have, Adam and Eve focussed and grabbed for the only thing they didn’t have.
The challenge is for each of us to become aware of all the blessings we actually do have.
It is easy to be dismissive and unimaginative about our personal blessings.
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AlanFromWichita
Guest
Since material success and happiness do not correlate, I try to break the ties in my brain.
A few weeks ago I learned that one of my classmates for quite a few high school classes, is now worth $70M according to Forbes, and is a CEO of a large investment bank. He went into finance and I into engineering, and here I am disabled and nearly unemployed. I told this to one of my daughters and the first question she asked was, “did he get a divorce?” I said, “yes, actually he did,” and she said, “then I feel sorry for him.” It actually helped me not care about my money situation when I thought of what a great family I have. My friend probably would have paid me tens of millions if he could have had what I had.
I try to learn to be happy “in the moment” so that I don’t have to be happy “in the long range scheme of things.” This is powerful for me, because if for just a moment I can let go of concerns, then I am happy – and if I can adapt that technology for use all the time, then I am happy for many moments. This can all be done without having any material resources of envy whatsoever. Once I can set my baseline as being happy, then I can rejoice at others’ success.
If I think the person who is successful is “evil” or got it the wrong way or just plain doesn’t deserve it, then I pity him because he must not have a clear conscience. If I don’t know anything about it, I’ll assume that more money brings greater tests – whether good or bad.
Pitying those who have “succeeded” helps me not envy them.
Alan
A few weeks ago I learned that one of my classmates for quite a few high school classes, is now worth $70M according to Forbes, and is a CEO of a large investment bank. He went into finance and I into engineering, and here I am disabled and nearly unemployed. I told this to one of my daughters and the first question she asked was, “did he get a divorce?” I said, “yes, actually he did,” and she said, “then I feel sorry for him.” It actually helped me not care about my money situation when I thought of what a great family I have. My friend probably would have paid me tens of millions if he could have had what I had.
I try to learn to be happy “in the moment” so that I don’t have to be happy “in the long range scheme of things.” This is powerful for me, because if for just a moment I can let go of concerns, then I am happy – and if I can adapt that technology for use all the time, then I am happy for many moments. This can all be done without having any material resources of envy whatsoever. Once I can set my baseline as being happy, then I can rejoice at others’ success.
If I think the person who is successful is “evil” or got it the wrong way or just plain doesn’t deserve it, then I pity him because he must not have a clear conscience. If I don’t know anything about it, I’ll assume that more money brings greater tests – whether good or bad.
Pitying those who have “succeeded” helps me not envy them.
Alan
S
sawman
Guest
HewillProvide,
I have found the Psalms to be of great value in this regard. There is much said about the wealthy, well off, and how the evil ones prosper. Here’s the bottom line; we are all sinners and we all are deserving of death but for God’s Mercy. He causes the rain to fall on the just and unjust alike.
Materialy successful people can tempt one to envy but, they have their suffering and burdens as well as any poor person may have. Many of the wealthy are not going to heaven. They are experiencing their heaven here in this life. If you think that is something to envy just pray about it. There are many good benefits to being poor, or one who must struggle with many challenges and hurdles in this life. If you can turn your suffering over to God, He can transform it into a vehicle for your sanctification and happiness. Without His grace and transformative help even the poor would not merit much.
So when I see those who used to excite envy in me I can Pray earnestly for their salvation. I mean these prayers from the bottom of my heart. Wealthier folks need our prayers and examples. Many of them are poor lost sheep too. Heck, many poor people need our prayers as well because it is so easy to become despairing and laconic.
Anyhow, too many wealthy people will not be a problem for very long here in the United States. There is judgement coming for our collective mis-use of our wealth and we will soon be a poor nation again.
So pray for God’s grace and humility and try as hard as you can to draw near to Him. He will give you what you need packed down and overflowing. This also goes for the most part with envying those who have better anything than yourself. Better health, luck, energy, etc.
Peace,
Tom
I have found the Psalms to be of great value in this regard. There is much said about the wealthy, well off, and how the evil ones prosper. Here’s the bottom line; we are all sinners and we all are deserving of death but for God’s Mercy. He causes the rain to fall on the just and unjust alike.
Materialy successful people can tempt one to envy but, they have their suffering and burdens as well as any poor person may have. Many of the wealthy are not going to heaven. They are experiencing their heaven here in this life. If you think that is something to envy just pray about it. There are many good benefits to being poor, or one who must struggle with many challenges and hurdles in this life. If you can turn your suffering over to God, He can transform it into a vehicle for your sanctification and happiness. Without His grace and transformative help even the poor would not merit much.
So when I see those who used to excite envy in me I can Pray earnestly for their salvation. I mean these prayers from the bottom of my heart. Wealthier folks need our prayers and examples. Many of them are poor lost sheep too. Heck, many poor people need our prayers as well because it is so easy to become despairing and laconic.
Anyhow, too many wealthy people will not be a problem for very long here in the United States. There is judgement coming for our collective mis-use of our wealth and we will soon be a poor nation again.
So pray for God’s grace and humility and try as hard as you can to draw near to Him. He will give you what you need packed down and overflowing. This also goes for the most part with envying those who have better anything than yourself. Better health, luck, energy, etc.
Peace,
Tom
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puzzleannie
Guest
practice a habit of daily thankfulness for God’s manifold gifts to us.
embrace a stewardship spirituality that views all God’s gifts, material, personal and spiritual as being loaned to us for his service and striving to discern the service he expects from us using these gifts.
evaluating and relating to people as persons deserving of our detached love and human respect, not as collections of traits and possessions.
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Monte_RCMS
Guest
A lot of the success of others is not real. We only see the surfacey aspect.
Guy I went to school with showed up at a class reunion with his trophy wife. A real knockout. He divorced his first wife and got his dream trophy wife. Fabulous.
The NEXT issue of the alumni magazine published HIS OBITUARY!!!
[some trophy!]
Guy I went to school with showed up at a class reunion with his trophy wife. A real knockout. He divorced his first wife and got his dream trophy wife. Fabulous.
The NEXT issue of the alumni magazine published HIS OBITUARY!!!
[some trophy!]
J
JRKH
Guest
This is so true. What we don’t see often times is:
- How they obtained their success (was it honest, were there moral compromises etc?)
- The fallout from obtaining success ( stress, ulcers, emotional issues etc.).
Peace
James
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Monte_RCMS
Guest
Ever watch the TV show, “Cheers”?
The owner of the bar, Sam Malone, sold it and bought a boat.
Shows up in later episodes as an employee bartender.
What happened?
“You sold the bar, bought a boat. What happened?”
“The boat sank.”
The owner of the bar, Sam Malone, sold it and bought a boat.
Shows up in later episodes as an employee bartender.
What happened?
“You sold the bar, bought a boat. What happened?”
“The boat sank.”
M
Monica4316
Guest
try to seek God’s glory alone
if others glorify Him in any way, try to rejoice for that reason.
If these are people you know, try to ignore your feelings or temptations to jealousy, and act the opposite way (kindly)
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Monte_RCMS
Guest
A guy is walking down the beach and comes across a kind of old brass lamp.
Hmmm. He picks it up and opens it and out pops a genie who gives him three wishes.
Well, first he wants a Mercedes convertible stuffed with a billion dollars.
Poof. A gorgeous Mercedes with the trunk and back seat neatly packed with a billion dollars.
Second, he wants the most beautiful and sexy woman who will love him for who he is.
Poof. In the passenger seat is the most gorgeous woman in the world and she pats the drivers seat and asks him to drive.
Third, he says he is going to wait a bit for the third request.
So, it’s a beautiful day and he’s driving down the road with his arm around this gorgeous woman. He has the radio on.
A commercial comes on and he starts singing with the commercial.
"I wish I was an Oscar Meyer weiner …
Hmmm. He picks it up and opens it and out pops a genie who gives him three wishes.
Well, first he wants a Mercedes convertible stuffed with a billion dollars.
Poof. A gorgeous Mercedes with the trunk and back seat neatly packed with a billion dollars.
Second, he wants the most beautiful and sexy woman who will love him for who he is.
Poof. In the passenger seat is the most gorgeous woman in the world and she pats the drivers seat and asks him to drive.
Third, he says he is going to wait a bit for the third request.
So, it’s a beautiful day and he’s driving down the road with his arm around this gorgeous woman. He has the radio on.
A commercial comes on and he starts singing with the commercial.
"I wish I was an Oscar Meyer weiner …
J
JRKH
Guest
:clapping:
R
Rence
Guest
By writing our own sucess stories. Determine what “success” means to you and make it happen. It’s normal at one time or another to envy someone else’s successes, but eventually, you have to stop and think, “what will it take for me to achieve success?” and then do it.
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Bendecida
Guest
Everyone see this video! youtube.com/watch?v=Yhl_OIlcetY&feature=related It really does help.
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Bendecida
Guest
This is also helpful: youtube.com/watch?v=kgI69Naw5a0
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