How do you address a deacon?

[Jennifer132]

Please bear with my newbie Catholic questions… how do you address a deacon face to face? We will be meeting with our deacon soon, as he wants to enroll us in RCIA. Do you simply address them by name, or do you call him Deacon Last Name, or Deacon First Name? Also, for the priest, in the past, I have just said, “Father”, when greeting him after the Mass. If I choose to use his name, do I use the last name or first name with “Father”?

 

[Cor_ad_Cor]

You go with what they prefer. You’re never wrong to use Deacon Lastname or Father Lastname; some prefer this more formal style. Many, however, prefer Deacon/Father Firstname. Just ask him.

 

[corsair]

No, a Deacon is NOT addressed as Fr. because he is NOT a priest. The correct title is the Reverend Mr. (last name) or Deacon (last name).

 

[adamhovey1988]

No, a Deacon is NOT addressed as Fr. because he is NOT a priest. The correct title is the Reverend Mr. (last name) or Deacon (last name).

No, that’s not quite right. In the Eastern churches, a Deacon is often addressed as “Fr. Deacon”, but most don’t seem to care if you call them “Deacon”.

 

[Don_Ruggero]

Please bear with my newbie Catholic questions… how do you address a deacon face to face? We will be meeting with our deacon soon, as he wants to enroll us in RCIA. Do you simply address them by name, or do you call him Deacon Last Name, or Deacon First Name? Also, for the priest, in the past, I have just said, “Father”, when greeting him after the Mass. If I choose to use his name, do I use the last name or first name with “Father”?

It used to be that a diocesan priest, which most times is what a parish priest is, would be addressed as Father [Last Name]. A Religious Order priest, on the other hand, would invariably be addressed as Father [First Name] because his first name was the name he received in Religious Life while we who are diocesan priests do not receive a new name.

Today, the rule is not hard and fast. I meet many priests who are diocesan clergy who prefer being addressed as Father [First Name] by their parishioners. My advice is, after just using “Father,” casually ask…“Father do you prefer being called Father [First Name] or Father [Last Name]?”

Again regarding the Deacons, every permutation is used. I would ask “Deacon, how do you prefer being addressed?”

The reality is…there is a protocol to it. But, in actuality, none of us really appreciates being called something that is the opposite of what we actually prefer.

 

[MT1926]

Please bear with my newbie Catholic questions… how do you address a deacon face to face? We will be meeting with our deacon soon, as he wants to enroll us in RCIA. Do you simply address them by name, or do you call him Deacon Last Name, or Deacon First Name? Also, for the priest, in the past, I have just said, “Father”, when greeting him after the Mass. If I choose to use his name, do I use the last name or first name with “Father”?

If we are at mass or on Church grounds I usually use the official Deacon Toby. If I see him out in about I usually shorten it to Deacon. The youth in the parish call him “Deac” for short at all times. So I would probably address him with great respect and Deacon-First and/or Last name when you meet for the first time and outright ask him which he prefers, that is if he doesn’t offer first. As for Father I would just keep an ear out for what others do. It seems to me most of the younger priests I have met go by Father/first name where as most of the older priests tend to go by Father/last name. However, this is not some rule set in stone, so for the time being I would probably just use Father until you hear how others address him.

Welcome home. Enjoy RCIA.

 

[oliver927]

At my church, right before mass starts, someone will announce Father Name is celebrating mass and if there is a Deacon they will say something like “assisted by Deacon Name.” I always address the priest or deacon the same way they are introduced before mass.

 

[Tarpeian_Rock]

I thought that the USCCB had decided that the form “Rev. Mr.” was to be restricted to transitional deacons, with “permanent deacons” to use only “Deacon” both formally in writing and in being addressed. This always puzzled me in that there is only one order of deacon. Perhaps in practice this is a diocese-by-diocese decision – similar to Roman collars for deacons, a sore spot for many.

 

[Angel_Bradford]

I thought that the USCCB had decided that the form “Rev. Mr.” was to be restricted to transitional deacons, with “permanent deacons” to use only “Deacon” both formally in writing and in being addressed. This always puzzled me in that there is only one order of deacon. Perhaps in practice this is a diocese-by-diocese decision – similar to Roman collars for deacons, a sore spot for many.

This is my understanding as well.

 

[Pat_the_elder]

" Hi Peter, how’s it going." He lives in the same street as me. Our wives are friends and we have been known to share a glass or two of Chianti. Never really thought of it but perhaps I should be a bit more formal when he’s “on duty” so to speak.

 

[Mi_Rose]

I call him hon or if I am in church with him I call him Deacon. Of course I am married to a deacon
Other Deacons, I call Deacon First Name in public. That is what the deacons in this diocese seem to prefer
I could not resist. I registered to answer this question.:

 

[Mi_Rose]

Thanks for the welcome, Deacon Jeff

 

[MT1926]

Yes, he has truly been a blessing to our Parish Family.

 

[Shawnq]

I think deacons should dress themselves.

 

[kdbueno]

A deacon knows adoration and concept of morality very well, he can understand you by normal means especially when you talk to him like your friend.

 

[Melissa]

It used to be that a diocesan priest, which most times is what a parish priest is, would be addressed as Father [Last Name]. A Religious Order priest, on the other hand, would invariably be addressed as Father [First Name] because his first name was the name he received in Religious Life while we who are diocesan priests do not receive a new name.

Today, the rule is not hard and fast. I meet many priests who are diocesan clergy who prefer being addressed as Father [First Name] by their parishioners. My advice is, after just using “Father,” casually ask…“Father do you prefer being called Father [First Name] or Father [Last Name]?”

Again regarding the Deacons, every permutation is used. I would ask “Deacon, how do you prefer being addressed?”

The reality is…there is a protocol to it. But, in actuality, none of us really appreciates being called something that is the opposite of what we actually prefer.

And sometimes, protocol aside, there is another, rather practical, reason why priests may be addressed as ‘Father [First Name]’ or ‘Father [Last Name]’. I used to live in a city with a parish blessed with four priests … as it happened, two of them were brothers (therefore sharing the last name), so they each always “Father [first name]” because if you called the parish office and asked for Father [Last Name], the question would be “which one?” Coincidentally, the other two priests shared the same first name, so they were each “Father [Last Name]”.

Then, where I am living now, there was a retired priest who frequently helped out who was some degree of cousin (close, but not first cousins) to the pastor of the parish, and they both shared the same surname, so the custom was to call them each “Father [First Name}”. The elder (retired) priest has since passed away, but the tendency is still to call our pastor “Father [First Name]” because it just seems weird to switch to what seems a higher level of formality.

Deacons–I’ve generally heard them called by “Deacon [First name]” in both of the dioceses in which I have/currently do reside.

 

[WillyAL]

I think deacons should dress themselves.

Drum roll…rim shot.

 

[Tarpeian_Rock]

I always thought “Your Worship” had a nice dignified ring to it.

 

[Don_Ruggero]

And sometimes, protocol aside, there is another, rather practical, reason why priests may be addressed as ‘Father [First Name]’ or ‘Father [Last Name]’. I used to live in a city with a parish blessed with four priests … as it happened, two of them were brothers (therefore sharing the last name), so they each always “Father [first name]” because if you called the parish office and asked for Father [Last Name], the question would be “which one?” Coincidentally, the other two priests shared the same first name, so they were each “Father [Last Name]”.

Then, where I am living now, there was a retired priest who frequently helped out who was some degree of cousin (close, but not first cousins) to the pastor of the parish, and they both shared the same surname, so the custom was to call them each “Father [First Name}”. The elder (retired) priest has since passed away, but the tendency is still to call our pastor “Father [First Name]” because it just seems weird to switch to what seems a higher level of formality.

Deacons–I’ve generally heard them called by “Deacon [First name]” in both of the dioceses in which I have/currently do reside.

All very true. I worked with one priest, now long gone to God – unfortunately for those he left behind – who was a wonderful priest. Absolutely as formal as you could please. But he was not working in his native country. For those who knew something of his language, his family name was very easy to pronounce. If, however, one did not know the language, the name could be mangled terribly. He insisted, except for those who knew how to do it properly, that he be addressed always as Father [First Name].

 

[Don_Ruggero]

I always thought “Your Worship” had a nice dignified ring to it.

I can’t resist asking…are you originally from the United States? I am curious. It happened only one time to me, and during a visit to a certain place there in what would have been a former colony, that I was addressed by that specific honourific. I would not have thought it had any currency or been a title even mentally present among the Americans of what was then the 20th century. I hope that my facial expression did not betray my inward surprise at the usage by an American.