How do you avoid impurity when it’s everywhere?

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As you can tell by the title, I am struggling with avoiding (name removed by moderator)urity along with many others. Not to be sexist, but I’m mainly looking for advice from men, because I just feel like they will have a better understsanding of the struggle I am going through. I have heard advice about this subject before, but most of the answers are something along the lines of; quit going to whatever is causing you to witness impure material. But if I were to quit using my phone, watching tv, and going out in public, id practically be living under a rock. I undertstand that simply seeing impure images without staring or having bad thoughts about them isn’t a mortal sin. However, with me being a young man, avoiding the thoughts and temptations that come with these impure things is seemingly impossible. The confusion revolving around the mortal sin of lust has caused me to become scrupulous, and although I know I shouldn’t, I often feel helpless. Any advice will help, God bless.
 
Someboy113 said:
As you can tell by the title, I am struggling with avoiding (name removed by moderator)urity along with many others. Not to be sexist, but I’m mainly looking for advice from men, because I just feel like they will have a better understsanding of the struggle I am going through. I have heard advice about this subject before, but most of the answers are something along the lines of; quit going to whatever is causing you to witness impure material. But if I were to quit using my phone, watching tv, and going out in public, id practically be living under a rock. I undertstand that simply seeing impure images without staring or having bad thoughts about them isn’t a mortal sin. However, with me being a young man, avoiding the thoughts and temptations that come with these impure things is seemingly impossible. The confusion revolving around the mortal sin of lust has caused me to become scrupulous, and although I know I shouldn’t, I often feel helpless. Any advice will help, God bless.
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As a male I can totally relate. It’s a daily struggle. I can’t help but view it as a trial. A ladder to purity. Up three rungs, slip down two. Up four rungs, slip back six. The point is, never quit. I can assure you, as you age, it will become a little easier. Additionally, as I am finally winning most of the battles, (ok many), I feel better about myself. Struggling all these years makes me feel in some small way peaceful. I gave something difficult of myself in sacrifice and humility to Christ.
 
Thank you so much for your response and advice! I appreciate it more than you may think.
 
I’m almost 60 years old. I say that because age matters. Youth and restless loins tend to go together.
Look at minimising the issue. You wont get rid of desire. In fact that would be a mistake too.
It was less of a problem for me when I was busy at work and didn’t have time for the mind to wander.
Sport and hard physical exercise can get rid of pent up stress and sexual desire. It can heighten it too which is a downside.
Yoga? meditation? Prayer?
When your mind stops looking for ways to satisfy impure thoughts, then you can make progress. A pure mind will start to notice purity everywhere instead of impurity. You might say that is debateable but my experience tells me there is truth in that.
 
“seek the things that are above; where Christ is sitting at the right hand of God: [2] Mind the things that are above, not the things that are upon the earth. [3] For you are dead; and your life is hid with Christ in God.” (Col 3:1-3)

“Being Christian is not the result of an ethical choice or a lofty idea, but the encounter with an event, a person, which gives life a new horizon and a decisive direction.” (Pope Benedict XVI, Deus caritas est, 1)

I cites these for they are important in regard to what I am going to say. Seeking newness, the true adventure of the Christian life - will always start at the first moment we wake from sleep. “I love them that love me: and they that in the morning early watch for me, shall find me.” (Prov 8:17) In the early hours, we find the opportunity to be filled with the love of God, we go to Mass, work, or both. And with time to study the sublime things the Church has to offer (and I mean only the sublime) we are put in a standpoint where we dwell with the things of heaven and properly mortify the flesh.

Jesus said I am the way, the truth, and the life. The way of grace, the truth of justice, and the life of wisdom (Cf. St. Bonaventure, Disputed Questions on Evangelical Perfection, q. 1, c.; St. Bernard, The Steps of Humility and Pride, 1, 1). By our sweet conversion to Christ, we love the things he loves, and we love him in grace (sacraments), justice (good works by right rule of reason), and wisdom (becoming love), and so he becomes our partner as we walk with Him. This is how we avoid all sin and feel loved. And when we receive the full measure of wisdom, we can say with St. Francis - that in all things and creatures I see Christ.
 
We are saved not by being perfect but by holding onto Christ’s outstretched arm even as we sink into the waves. Perfection will come with time.

The scrupulous have trouble coping with the tension and really believing that God loves them all the same. You are not a superman nor does God expect you to be one from the getgo.

Get yourself a spiritual director who will know you each time you see him, scrupulosity cannot be solved by knowledge nor by anonymous posting to anonymous laity on CAF.
 
Here’s what you do:

If you see something impure look away.
You can’t avoid seeing, but you can avoid is seeing it again. Think of Jesus Christ crucified if you start thinking about something sinful.

Of course pray often.
 
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Kei said:
Think of Jesus Christ crucified if you start thinking about something sinful.
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You are probably giving excellent advice here. Doctrinally sound. To be honest, I don’t want to be thinking about Jesus on the Cross all day every day though.
 
Sorry in advance because I’m a woman but Jason Evert said something that interests me a lot: retrain your brain. You’ll probably remember the impure images forever, and it’ll always pop up in your brain even if you avoid everything. So what he recommended is to change your view of it. When you are tempted (eg an immodest woman, sex), thank God for her beauty and say a short prayer for her because she’s probably hurt in some way which led her to use sexuality as a power. For example, porn actresses are very likely to have been abused and raped since they were young. If not, they are being abused and raped right now (read testimonies from ex porn stars). So acknowledge how beautiful she looks + pray for her.

So it’s not about avoiding impurity, but facing it and not falling into sin. There’s no easy solution. If there was, there would not be this much corruption in the world, lol.

When you train yourself to do that every time you see something, it’s easier for you to stop seeing her as a temptation, but rather, God’s child. Therapy tend to use this method as well, by changing your thoughts rather than avoiding the situation
 
There is a big difference between stopping use of your phone, or tv and someone telling you to stop going to the sites and shows that are causing the problem. To say without either that you would be living under a rock if you stopped using them is a cop out, an excuse.

You asked for help, so stop explaining why you can’t do what people suggest, and start trying them.

Use your phone to go outside and take more photos instead of using your phone to look at photos.
 
If you can’t avoid it, it may help if you understand it. For example, a lot of the impure or suggestive content on TV is deliberately put into the script to attract viewers and keep them from changing the channel. It’s psychological control and they have it down to a science. I’m talking about the programs as well as the ads. If you notice what they are doing and see how they do it, you might be more likely to reject it, step out of the room or change the channel, avoid certain kinds of shows, and put it out of your mind.
 
So you are saying that you are thinking of sinful things all day every day? I don’t think so. So neither is anyone telling you to think of Jesus crucified all day every day.
 
Why not? It is a good thing to keep us focused on Him. If it is too emotional perhaps think of the Divine Mercy image.

I like to picture the blood and water from the side of Christ washing me as He is crucified.
 
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Irishmom, i don’t think you realize where I’m coming from. I’m in high school right now and, of course, use my phone a lot. You say that I should simply quit going to the places on my phone where impure images pop up, oh if only it was that easy. Basically anything on my phone/tv anywhere I go there is impure material. Maybe you thought I meant extremely impure, but that’s not the case. Whether it’s on instagram, YouTube, some advertisement on google, images pop up that are unavoidable and just impure enough to cause bad thoughts. Once again, not to be sexist, but this may have been easier for you to overcome than me because you are a woman. Hopefully you see what I mean now.
 
Don’t be so quick to write off advice from women. Contrary to popular belief, there’s a lot of us who are extremely visual and impure. We just stay quiet about it because it’s seen as “abnormal” due to perceptions that women…well, aren’t.
 
I understand I just feel that a man would better understand my position as a boy is high school, experiencing the things that boys specifically experience. Also, studies show that girls are often “seduced” from audio rather than through sight, which is my main concern.
 
I apologize that I was of no help to you. I hope you can forgive me.
 
Considering you didn’t even try offering advice, you were in fact no help. But yes, I do forgive you🙃
 
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