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ResoluteSheep
Guest
Would appreciate some advice on this. Thank you and God bless
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Rosebud77
Guest
Learn to say NO and mean it. Set boundaries and keep to them. Not easy at first but then people learn and respect that.
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UpUpAndAway
Guest
I was trying to think how to explain this, but what Rosebud said is essentially half of it: when you say no, mean it and stick with it. The other half is to let your yes really be yes.
Do think twice before saying no, however. Sometimes we resist doing the right thing for knee-jerk reasons that aren’t true obstacles (ie “I don’t want to” vs. “I can’t”).
Do think twice before saying no, however. Sometimes we resist doing the right thing for knee-jerk reasons that aren’t true obstacles (ie “I don’t want to” vs. “I can’t”).
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TheAmazingGrace
Guest
Don’t be afraid of confrontation. Keeping the peace isn’t worth it if other people are being jerks.
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Memaw
Guest
I agree and my kids and grandkids respect that. One has to command and earn respect. God Bless, Memaw
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oldgraymare2
Guest
Hi ResoluteSheep,
You can be assertive, but also doing it in a way that’s still kind and tactful.
Here’s a link to it that describes “compassionate assertiveness,” as it’s called. It’s basically learning to set boundaries with others that doesn’t hurt anyone:
psychalive.org/how-to-be-assertive-while-keeping-a-kind-heart/
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egretps
Guest
Dr. Henry Cloud wrote a book, “Boundries”. It is excellent. He then went on to write others dealing with specific relationships, such as Parenting, Marriage, and I believe Work.
I’ve borrowed it from the library and realized I may need to buy a copy for myself.
I’ve borrowed it from the library and realized I may need to buy a copy for myself.
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Melodeonist
Guest
This is definitely something I struggle with as well. However, remember saying no doesn’t mean the other person will hate you. If they ask a question they are probably expecting either a yes or a no. If they are only expecting "yesses " and get enraged when people say no it’s their problem, not yours. 
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fhansen
Guest
I like Matt 10:16: “I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.”
Apparently we can be both.
Apparently we can be both.
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Memaw
Guest
Also, I talked to my kids and explained why I said NO. They may not like it and I always let them tell their side before I explained why. From the time they were little I talked to my kids and LISTENED to them too. But they never run the show. My husband was ill for many, many years before he died, so I had to be both Mom and Dad and with 7 boys I couldn’t let them run over me. Even the older ones started helping with the little ones. I tried to have fun with my kids and do things with them they liked, they still talk about some of the things we did. I NEVER allowed any of them to talk back to me in a smart tone. They could disagree but only respectfully, and then we would talk about it. It’s great to see them using the same tactics as I did, raising their kids. None of my sons ever got into any trouble and they grew up during a time when things were getting really bad for young people. We are all very close and the boys help each other out whenever necessary!! It is worth every effort !!!
God Bless, Memaw
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