How do you buy an engagement ring?

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AllSeasons

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I’ve been courting this wonderful girl, and I plan to pop the big question soon. But before I do, I need to buy an engagement ring first! Luckily, I already know her ring size and the kind of cut that she likes. I’m thinking of getting a wedding set, i.e. engagement ring and both wedding bands. That said, I’ve never even contemplated, much less looked into, buying an engagement ring before. Compound that with the fact that I don’t have any sisters who could help me, I’m kind of at a loss as to how to buy one. The only ring-buying advice I’ve gotten so far is from her! She’s not picky, and told me that she’d be happy with any ring, but I think she only deserves the best, and I want to find one that has special meaning, because that’s the ring you’re going to be wearing for the rest of your life. I’ve read some guides online, and some of that has been helpful, but I’d like to hear from people who have gone through that process before. Did you buy it at a mall, or online, or some other place? How did you pick one out? I think conventional wisdom dictates that it’s two months of your salary, right?

Any advice and help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance.
 
In my opinion, the best engagement rings are the ones that are already paid off. Just sayin.
 
I know some couples who ‘picked a ring out’ together, but it seems more romantic to find it on your own! Though I might leave getting the wedding bands, she might want to help choose them.

You said you don’t have a sister who could help you, but maybe your girlfriend does? Failing that, could you ask one of her friends?

Good luck!
 
Don’t buy all the rings together, that’s my advice.

She will not wear the engagement ring for the rest of her life. She will wear it probably up until she has a baby, and then after that probably only special occasions. They really just get in the way of tasks.

Her wedding ring, she will wear the rest of her life, minus repairs or swelling or something.

This allows you to buy her an engagement ring, surprise her, and then the two of you can go back and have the experience of picking out your wedding bands together. I think this is a much better route.
 
AllSeasons said:
How do you mean? Some people use installment plans on engagement rings?
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I know several people who finance thousands of dollars for engagement rings. My sister’s husband was advised that women expect really expensive rings, so he put it on his credit card. They had a daughter before it was paid off.
 
Go to Sears. Buy the engagement ring and wedding bands all for $600 or less. They have a very nice and very huge selection. You won’t be in debt for years. Surprise her. Don’t shop for rings together. JMHO. 😉
 
My husband had a very good idea about what I liked, and he had rings made. My engagement ring fits into my wedding ring, and we had them sautered together after we married. It’s 25 years later, and I’m still wearing the set, essentially all of the time.

The fellow that made the ring assured him that he’d take the ring back if I didn’t like it and I could pick out something I did like. Most jewelers will do this, provided the ring is brought back promptly and with no wear marks on it. Oh, and my husband bought a stone that was just slightly smaller than the “cut-off” between sizes. At that time, at least, there was a jump in price per carat at 0.25, 0.50, 0.75, 1.0 and so on. It was economical to choose a stone that was at 0.24 or 0.49 or 0.74, et cetera, and the smaller stone is indistinguishable from one in the “next size up” category. I don’t know if that is still true, though.
 
Well, first of all, I wouldn’t DREAM of taking off my engagement ring.
I’d stay away from the chain jewelry stores.
They generally have a 400 percent mark-up. :eek:
Ask around for a reputable diamond wholesaler if she wants a stone.
Otherwise, there are many reputable gold dealers online.
You can even get simple 14k gold bands at Sam’s club for the basic wedding bands very reasonably.
Read up on carat and quality if you’re getting a stone. Keep in mind that the trend now is colored stones, not necessarily diamonds. You can make a beautiful set out of a Garnet or Ruby with small stones to either side and a simple band.
As you can tell, I’m a jewelry-o-holic! LOL
PM me if you need sites…
The most important thing is" DO NOT let some salesman talk you into more than you can afford. Get her what she’ll love, but don’t make any payments on his Beemer, LOL!
CONGRATUALATIONS!!!
God Bless you and your Dear fiancée!
 
FrenzyJen said:
Don’t buy all the rings together, that’s my advice.

She will not wear the engagement ring for the rest of her life. She will wear it probably up until she has a baby, and then after that probably only special occasions. They really just get in the way of tasks.

Her wedding ring, she will wear the rest of her life, minus repairs or swelling or something.

This allows you to buy her an engagement ring, surprise her, and then the two of you can go back and have the experience of picking out your wedding bands together. I think this is a much better route.
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I wear mine pretty much every day. Wedding band and engagement ring. Well, until lately. I have lupus, and joint pain stopped me from wearing them for a while. I am back to having them on all of the time.

My husband is an only child. So no sisters. My sister was out of the country when we got engaged.

He bought what he liked and what he thought I would like. 🤷

I think it is beautiful and I get complements on it all of the time.

When my hands are swollen and I can’t wear my rings, I wear my mother’s. My father picked hers out and I don’t *think *he had any help.

She loved them and wore them her entire life.

Go with your gut. She will love them, *because *she loves you.
 
Don’t buy into that 2 months salary thing. That was made up by the diamond companies years ago to get people to spend a lot of money. Buy what you can afford, not what you have to finance. Decide on an amount you want to spend and stick to it. Not every woman wants an expensive, giant diamond.

You could always look with her online just to see what styles she likes, but then you choose the actual ring on your own. Just get the engagement ring, let her choose the bands with you afterward.

God bless you!
 
First of all, the only person you should consider marrying is your absolute best friend. Like it or not, for most of us, romantic appeal and sexual attraction quickly fades in a relationship; but a true friendship lasts. The stresses of two people living together day by day requires that they be not good, but best, friends if the relationship is to last. Two examples: If she uses your razor to shave her legs (and sooner or later she will) and not only does not change the blade, but forgets to tell you, she better be your best friend the next time you try to shave…and then on your part: leaving the toilet seat up for one time too many - you better be her best friend.
Since Marriage is a two way street, and your intended is the car driver (she only lets you think you are), in all probability she already knows you are going to propose. If she intends to answer yes, she is just waiting for you to ask!
In addition, good communication is first and formost in any marital relationship, I should think that you ahould propose first and if she says yes, tell her that you want her to have exactly the engagement ring she wants and discuss the matter with her. After all, she is going to wear it for the rest of her life, so, you should take her to several jewelry stores and let her select the ring she wants. That way, there will be no mistake to come back and hit you in the teeth in later years.
One last thing. Before buying the rings you should both discuss their cost before looking for them. It is somewhat foolish for a couple just starting out to pay the better part of a years wages for jewelry of any kind. Likewise the wedding. Yes, normally the brides parents foot the bill. However, today that is not always true. Having a beautiful wedding is one thing, but having a wedding reception that costs as much as the average house is somewhat ridiculous and obscene; especially, having a sit-down dinner for people you don’t know and will hardly ever see again - like a 4th cousin twice removed! It is better that the money for such things be put for a house, or for your future childrens education, or pay off your education loans if appropriate.
It is not a good idea to start a marriage when you are in debt.
 
FrenzyJen said:
She will not wear the engagement ring for the rest of her life. She will wear it probably up until she has a baby, and then after that probably only special occasions.
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This is not true for anyone I know. I have been wearing mine for going on 28 years now, 26 of them married.
 
My FIL owns a small town jewelry shop. I’d recommend going with someone small and local rather than a chain store. According to him, he has to repair a lot of jewelry from stores like Macy’s.

For what it’s worth, my husband didn’t spend anywhere near 2 months worth of salary - and he was only working part time back then as we were college students! Just spend what you can afford. I wouldn’t take out a loan for something like that.
 
Irishmom2 said:
This is not true for anyone I know. I have been wearing mine for going on 27 years now, 26 of them married.
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LOL, I have only been wearing mine for 7years (2 engaged and 5 married), but almost 4 children. Of course my husband knew me enough, to not buy a delicate easy to dislodge, or easy to gouge setting. LOL.

And yes, my engagement ring and wedding band are soldered together.

My husband went out to a jewelry store(s) (actually he shopped around online first) and looked around for one he liked, in a price range he could afford. We picked out our wedding bands together. Mine if from the same jewelry store as my engagement ring (but not a set), and my husbands is just a plain gold band (think the “One Ring”) we got on mark down from another store that was going out of business.

It is not real clear but here is a picture
 
Something else to keep in mind:
Remember I said not to go to a jewelry chain store?
Likewise, check out the little mom and pop jewelry shops. I bought my husband;s wedding band at a very small local shop. I admired one ring in the case…gold band with 3/4 carats of baguettes around the front. I asked “do you think a man would wear this?” The shop owner said sure, he would. I started to walk away…he said "I’ll give you a good price on that…it’s really slow these days. People are not buying fine jewelry like they used to. I need to get rid of some of this inventory. He said "would you give $400?
Snapped that sucker up. 😃

Check out the small stores. They are hurting in this economy, you can find all kinds of deals. And patronize the little guy.
 
Would anyone recommend going to a pawn shop to buy the ring? Or have I seen one too many episodes of “Hardcore Pawn?”
 
AllSeasons said:
Would anyone recommend going to a pawn shop to buy the ring? Or have I seen one too many episodes of “Hardcore Pawn?”
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I don’t think you’d get much of a deal there…
plus, you don’t have any idea what quality you are getting. 10K is cheaper but duller, 14K better. They could say it was 18K and you wouldn’t know.

But the most compelling reason NOT to get one at a pawn shop:
It’s someone else’s.
It has its own story apart from yours.
It’s used.
It’s kind of sad.
😦
The person who pawned it would be devastated if it was gone when they could afford to get it back. People who go to pawn shops have really fallen on hard times. I wouldn’t take advantage of that.

It’s your decision, but I don’t think I’d be thrilled with a pawn shop ring. I’d rather have the thinnest, tiniest little gold or silver band and nothing else, but have it new, just for me.
But, I’m real picky and sentimental.
Peace,
pianist
 
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