How do you buy an engagement ring?

[Xantippe]

AllSeasons said:

“Most girls these days would only ask for a larger stone; the fact that she’s actually asking for a smaller one shows me that she’s indeed a real keeper!”

Yes!

Remember, $6400 is a pretty decent car. In case you become parents in the first year of marriage (which happens to a lot of people), you will find that money more and more needed for dealing with the less glamorous side of young married life. My husband and I recently bought our first house. There were a number of surprises along the way. First of all, it turned out that the house needed a new roof–$14,000. Later, as we were in talks with the credit union, it turned out they needed another $4,000 to nail down a good interest rate. Those sorts of four and low five-figure surprises happen very frequently to people with families and houses.

Be generous, be fun and be prudent, and pay cash for whatever you do.

 

[bernadettefaith]

Thank you for all the advice so far. I talked to my girlfriend/fiance, and she, too, thinks it’s too much. I can afford the ring, but I want to respect her opinion, and give her exactly what she wants. She wants something that she can wear everyday, which means it can’t be too cumbersome/bulky, and she wants a smaller stone. Most girls these days would only ask for a larger stone; the fact that she’s actually asking for a smaller one shows me that she’s indeed a real keeper! That said, I guess it’s back to the drawing board, as far as ring/diamond hunting is concerned.

Good sign there I too asked for a small stone. Aside from cost, anything more than 1/2 carat felt too heavy on my hand. I have 1/4 carat and I find it perfect for everyday wear.

 

[Learning4me]

Don’t buy into that 2 months salary thing. That was made up by the diamond companies years ago to get people to spend a lot of money. Buy what you can afford, not what you have to finance. Decide on an amount you want to spend and stick to it. Not every woman wants an expensive, giant diamond.

You could always look with her online just to see what styles she likes, but then you choose the actual ring on your own. Just get the engagement ring, let her choose the bands with you afterward.

God bless you!

I agree - - two months salary on a ring is totally ridiculous… there is a greedy and corrupt profit built up around “women have to have” diamond engagement rings. I am a woman and a ring I did not want as it supports the multi-nationals. Marketing has brainwashed many of us into many things. If you have to buy a ring, $200 buys a nice enough ring (in my outspoken opinion! lol)

 

[manualman]

Practical advice: Keep it simple and rugged. Solitaire with a beefy platinum gem mount (harder than gold, less likely to bend and drop the diamond). Under 3/4 carat for long term daily inconspicuous use.

This is near heresy, but buy one with a defect you can readily see under magnification (chunk of carbon inside), but not with the naked eye (SI2 from my 15 year rusty memory). That way you can always ask to look at it and make sure they didn’t rob you and give you back a zirconium when you bring it in for repairs, cleaning, etc. DO have it inspected every few years. No fun at all when your wife looks down to find an empty gem socket on a barren ring!

I bought my wife’s at an indie shop and have never let any other shop touch it. That way if a CZ ever mysteriously appears I know who ripped us off!

 

[MJJean]

Thank you for all the advice so far. I talked to my girlfriend/fiance, and she, too, thinks it’s too much. I can afford the ring, but I want to respect her opinion, and give her exactly what she wants. She wants something that she can wear everyday, which means it can’t be too cumbersome/bulky, and she wants a smaller stone. Most girls these days would only ask for a larger stone; the fact that she’s actually asking for a smaller one shows me that she’s indeed a real keeper! That said, I guess it’s back to the drawing board, as far as ring/diamond hunting is concerned.

I agree with your lady. Women do a lot with our hands. We change diapers, wash dishes, shovel snow, shove our hands into holes to retrieve things we lost or to unclog drains, put on make-up and nylons, do our hair,on and on. The wrong type of ring will either snag and catch or the stone will fall out. A large stone or a high setting is a pain if we’re wearing it everyday.

I couldn’t tell you how many delicate fabrics I snagged my old ring on or how many pairs of hose it ruined. I also couldn’t tell you how many times I’d reach to pick up something I or the baby dropped or had to reach in the garbage disposal to get a chicken bone our whatever out and had the ring catch. Drove me nuts. So, you want a low profile setting that has the stone well secured. When you find something you like, rub it on cloth to see if it catches and snags.

 

[SubjectVerb]

May I suggest a ruby or sapphire? You can get a much larger stone for much less than a diamond, and they are gorgeous. My husband gave me about a 2.5 carat red ruby for my engagement ring, and I always get comments on it. Red is my absolutely favorite color, so it is very special for me. I am told that in the jewelry store, my husband decided between my ruby and an estate diamond ring by having his sister try both on and walk across the room to see which one people could see better. The ruby stood out more by far because of it’s bright red color Also, ruby and sapphire engagement rings are coming back in style because Kate Middleton’s is a huge, gorgeous sapphire.

I love my ring, and even with its large size there was no concern whatsoever about it being unaffordable (it was definitely much less than $6k). If your future wife wants a smaller stone, than a smaller ruby or sapphire would be even more affordable. That being said, if you really want a diamond, check out jewelry stores that sell estate jewelry. You can find a really good deal. Another tip: if you do decide on a ruby, sapphire, or estate ring, don’t tell the jeweler it’s an engagement ring because if they hear that, they will try there best to steer you towards to classic diamond solitaire. This was my sister-in-law’s advice to my husband (she has a sapphire), and he found that not telling them that it was an engagement ring gave him more freedom and space for him to look.

 

[AllSeasons]

Thank you for all the advice so far. Man, engagement ring shopping is hard! I’ve been to 4 stores so far, and many places online, and I’m still far from picking one out. I want to get her the perfect ring, you know? One that she will love and wear forever. So I’ve asked her to come with. Hopefully it’ll give me some more insight. Oh yea, she knows that I’m going to pop the question already.

 

[Irishmom2]

You could have her pick out a few and tell her you will surprise her. Then you can get her what you know she likes, but it will still be a surprise to her. Good luck a nd blessings to both of you!

 

[ifiddles]

what about diamond replacements…not cubic zirconias but man made diamonds?..my fiancé and I were looking at these and they seem reasonable and pretty cool…

www.diamondnexus.com

www.moissanite.com

we ended up going with a 3 stone amethyst ring with diamonds around it…something very unique and different…best thing was it was under $200…I get compliments on it all the time…and purple is my favourite colour so as a few others have said, maybe go with that as an idea and see what you find…

 

[MJJean]

A friend of mine is planning to get married and she found a lovely website that allows you to create your own ring. A variety of settings and stones you can play around with until you create what you want. I don’t know the site she uses, but I’m sure you could Google.

My friend is nowhere near done. She and her fiancee have been playing around with stones and settings for weeks now, lol. I loved their variety of selections. They had various settings that could be made of all the traditional metals and a lovely bunch of stones that could be cut to any size or shape. The pricing was reasonable and under the total control of the purchaser based on their selections.

My friend is going with a non-diamond stone, but she isn’t sure which one yet. She’s kicking around various cuts and settings in ruby, sapphire, emerald, and peridot. I’m really liking some of the possibilities she’s shown me, so I recommend trying to create exactly what you and your lady want.

 

[bernadettefaith]

A friend of mine is planning to get married and she found a lovely website that allows you to create your own ring. A variety of settings and stones you can play around with until you create what you want. I don’t know the site she uses, but I’m sure you could Google.

My friend is nowhere near done. She and her fiancee have been playing around with stones and settings for weeks now, lol. I loved their variety of selections. They had various settings that could be made of all the traditional metals and a lovely bunch of stones that could be cut to any size or shape. The pricing was reasonable and under the total control of the purchaser based on their selections.

My friend is going with a non-diamond stone, but she isn’t sure which one yet. She’s kicking around various cuts and settings in ruby, sapphire, emerald, and peridot. I’m really liking some of the possibilities she’s shown me, so I recommend trying to create exactly what you and your lady want.

Good idea My husband designed my ring and had his father make it for him. I would think that most independent jewelers would be able to design exactly what she wants.

 

[alphawoman]

I didn’t bother with an engagement ring and instead chose a diamond eternity-style wedding band. It was a great decision and paid off right away.

Word to the wise: get insurance before collecting it from you jeweller.