C
CountryMom27
Guest
Quick background - married 13 years, two kids 5 & 7, husband has a terrible demeaning job but it pays the bills and he is finally looking elsewhere. I work part-time and am looking for full-time work and contracting work to fill in in the meantime as money is very tight.
First child, normal pregnancy, complications at birth, but all went well. Second child, difficult pregnancy (preeclampsia, kidney stone, other issues) with extended bed rest, smooth birth, postpartum depression (mild) that was treated and resolved within 3 months. I’ve gone to see all of my doctors, and in spite of the fact that I’m 40 (he’s 50), they concur it is safe for me to have a child, and the risk of PPD would be managed by starting antidepressants right after birth.
I would like another child - I have an immensely strong feeling/urge about this. Husband does not want another and feels equally as strong. We tried marital counseling. We’ve tried to discuss this but we always end up arguing (this is the only thing we argue about) and I’m in tears. So I’ve let it be. He knows how I feel, I know how he feels, and I’ve talked to a priest about it several times - he advised me to accept my husband’s decision. Husband uses contraception - I refuse to - thus it is his sin, not mine according to the priest (and another priest I saw for reconciliation).
So - whew! - what do you do when two people in a marriage are so not on the same page? I yearn for another child while I adore my children and am grateful for them. Accepting that I will never have another child I just find unbearable. I have prayed and prayed for us, for our marriage, for husband’s job… to no avail. He says he is scared of the risks - yet I had my doctor write-up a whole thing for him, he never even looked at it. I offered to meet with him with my psychiatrist who treated me for PPD, no interest.
This whole thing - the separation from him, his sin about BC, our disagreeing, not accepting the potential of life, not having another child - grows on me daily and saddens me deeply. Yet I try not to bring it up at all because of the sensitivity.
How do you compromise then when there is no compromise?
First child, normal pregnancy, complications at birth, but all went well. Second child, difficult pregnancy (preeclampsia, kidney stone, other issues) with extended bed rest, smooth birth, postpartum depression (mild) that was treated and resolved within 3 months. I’ve gone to see all of my doctors, and in spite of the fact that I’m 40 (he’s 50), they concur it is safe for me to have a child, and the risk of PPD would be managed by starting antidepressants right after birth.
I would like another child - I have an immensely strong feeling/urge about this. Husband does not want another and feels equally as strong. We tried marital counseling. We’ve tried to discuss this but we always end up arguing (this is the only thing we argue about) and I’m in tears. So I’ve let it be. He knows how I feel, I know how he feels, and I’ve talked to a priest about it several times - he advised me to accept my husband’s decision. Husband uses contraception - I refuse to - thus it is his sin, not mine according to the priest (and another priest I saw for reconciliation).
So - whew! - what do you do when two people in a marriage are so not on the same page? I yearn for another child while I adore my children and am grateful for them. Accepting that I will never have another child I just find unbearable. I have prayed and prayed for us, for our marriage, for husband’s job… to no avail. He says he is scared of the risks - yet I had my doctor write-up a whole thing for him, he never even looked at it. I offered to meet with him with my psychiatrist who treated me for PPD, no interest.
This whole thing - the separation from him, his sin about BC, our disagreeing, not accepting the potential of life, not having another child - grows on me daily and saddens me deeply. Yet I try not to bring it up at all because of the sensitivity.
How do you compromise then when there is no compromise?