How do you explain to people the way we dress at Mass?

[KathleenElsie]

This past week I have had three co-workers tell me they were “former” catholics. In each of the cases they started to date non-catholics and attended the other person Protestant services. Each mentioned that the people and service they now attend are dressed more respectfully for church.

So other then the old “at least they are there” excuse, what can I say to them?

 

[Eileen_T]

the people and service they now attend are dressed more respectfully for church

I don’t dress for “the Church” or “the service” I dress respectful of the knowledge that I will be in the Presence of God.

I suspect that many Catholics have a poor understanding of Christ’s Real Presence and their way of dress reveals that.

 

[Chi_Roman]

Afternoon!

This would sound a little hypocritical to anyone who knows me, but I always try to make the effort and dress up for Mass. This doesn’t always happen (hence the hypocritical part) – as in, sometimes, I’ll wear jeans and sandals (this is often at the Saturday evening Mass, or the noon Mass on Sundays) … but I’ve always felt that if I can dress up for my job, put make-up on for my job, or for a date, or for anything else, that I can take the same time and dress up for the Lord.

What I would say to your coworkers is that God doesn’t care what you look like. He knows how you look naked, He made you that way, created you in His image. He knows each one of us so intimately, so personally, that there is no question to one’s effort. (He knows.) Your coworkers were focusing on the wrong things when they were at Mass. They’re not there to judge other people, they’re there to worship the Lord in our highest fashion, through the Holy Eucharist. If they’ve substituted the holy Presence of our Lord for the fact that people dressed nicer, then all we can do is pray for them that they get past their vanity and realize that Christ came to save us all. (Again, this is a twinge hypocritical, because on Holy Thursday, two people walked in with baseball caps and did not remove them for the Mass … I was seated in a different section, or I would have asked them to remove them – it did quite irk me.)

Seriously, their excuse reminds me of the Pharisee who prayed loudly in the temple and the ones who fasted for all to see – do you dress so others can see you, or do you do it out of respect for the Lord? They need to get their priorities straight.

Pax,
Chi Roman

eta

 

[kimaz]

This past week I have had three co-workers tell me they were “former” catholics. In each of the cases they started to date non-catholics and attended the other person Protestant services. Each mentioned that the people and service they now attend are dressed more respectfully for church.

So other then the old “at least they are there” excuse, what can I say to them?

Thats interesting because I went to several different Protestant churches in my time away from the Catholic Church and didn’t really notice a difference according to denomination but rather the different communities. For example my particular parish that I live in is in a not so high end town (mostly blue-collar, farmers) so people dress like, well, farmers or jeans and t-shirts. The Methodist church I went to in the same part of town, people dressed just like we do.

However, the “Non-demoninational” Christian church in the next town over everyone dressed nicely. But so do the people who go to the Catholic church in the same town. Our priest just asks us to not dress like bums if we can help it.

 

[thomasf]

While I agree that it is important to look your best for God and to worship Him, I think that He’s more concerned with your state on the inside when you come to mass than what you look like. Jesus had no problem with being in the presence of poor people or those who didn’t always look their best, the most glamorous and the rich, etc.

The church I attended as a kid was very pretentious. We had a lot of people who dressed very lavishly and wore expensive clothing, etc. It always struck me as hypocritical that these people who put so much stock in looking good were always in a hurry to get out of the parkinglot as soon as mass was over. It seems as though some people come dressed well to show off for others, or to make an appearance.

I always look at it like this. I just want to come to mass and be humble and have a clear mind and a clear heart and be prepared to listen to the readings, hear what the priest says, and be open to the graces and the experience of mass. So I dress moderately well, but not so well that I feel uncomfortable or worry about how I look or if other people look at me. I’m just trying to be a good servant and get the most out of mass that I can, not be there for a fashion show.

And I think a lot depends on what church you go to. We attend a student parish on a college campus. Many of the permanent parishoners are young couples that used to be students that have a family now and not a lot of $$. A lot of the students don’t have expensive clothing, and it’s more laid back all around. If you’re going in the middle of an affluent community, you’re going to have people dressing better.

Bottom line is, imo, it’s not about looking good or being at a fashion show. It’s being there to get closer to God. Whatever you need to achieve that, do.

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

I find that too many protestant denominations assume God will be wearing a coat and tie when He greets us for that first Face-to-face meeting. I think this speaks to the popularity of churches such as Willowbrook and Warehouse; well, the casual aspect of “church” and worship as entertainment and therefore a spectator sport.

 

[MarieVeronica]

This past week I have had three co-workers tell me they were “former” catholics

Hi Kathleen. First of all, you might want to say to your friends… that there is no such thing as a “former Catholic”. Once baptized into the Catholic Church… you are always a Catholic. This applies, even to people who “fall away” in childhood. Even if they never (sadly) return to the Church. They are still Catholic. Once Catholic, always Catholic.

I understand, though… what they’re saying about the way people dress for Mass. I see it all the time in our parish. People, even Eucharistic Ministers… inappropriately or immodestly dressed. One of our Eucharistic Ministers actually came to Mass, and served… wearing an extremely tight tank top with plunging neckline, bare shoulders and spaghetti straps. I later wrote a letter to our Pastor, expressing my shock. She has since worn more modest clothing.

When I was growing up, in the 1960’s… I can clearly remember our Pastor (Father O’Gorman… God rest his soul) chastising people for not dressing appropriately. He would remind us, very firmly… that modest attire before the Blessed Sacrament and in God’s House was required. Beach clothing, flip flops and the like… were not allowed. It was not an option. His attitude, made an impression on me… which I carry, to this day.

Sadly, this no longer (or rarely) seems to be a concern for many Pastors. It seems like they’re afraid of “offending” people. Hence, our kids are not learning how to dress for Mass. I believe it is one of the Pastors duties… to remind us (perhaps a monthly announcement in the bulletin?) that we need to dress modestly for Mass.

I hope that the trend will change. God bless.

(Dear Pastors, you are our spiritual “fathers”. We are your “children”. You have the right to guide us, if we’re making mistakes).