How do you fight envy/jealousy?

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Wondering what tips people have for fighting off envy/jealousy of others or certain situations?

I know this is a common problem among many people (myself included), and there are many ways to fight it (pray for said person when feelings of envy come up; turn your thoughts towards something else that is good, etc)… but wanted to get tips on what has worked best for anyone out there who has specifically dealt with this issue and sin.

Thank you for any and all advice! Hopefully others can benefit from this thread as well.
 
I think in addition to the things you have already listed, it’s important to ask God to please help you to be less envious/ jealous of the other person, and to instead become the best you that He wants you to be.

Not a religious context, but I remember reading ballerina Gelsey Kirkland’s autobiography and at one point she is very jealous of another dancer who has a beautiful long neck, which she herself doesn’t have. She’s going on and to her trainer about how she just wishes she had Natasha’s neck, and finally he says, “Yes, she has a lovely neck. Now, what are we going to do with YOU?” We have to focus on the reality of what we ourselves have to work with, and not what someone else might have.
 
I find being grateful for what I have helps me.

Also, comparing what I have to what the Holy Family had. We had very little money when our oldest was born and I often felt deprived, but I had a house vs a cave/stable, I had a car vs a donkey, etc. While I don’t think Mary wished for a car, I am sure she handled having her baby in a stable much better than I handled not “having it all.”
 
The only tried and true method for uprooting vice and implanting virtue is prayer coupled with fasting. Many people pray, few commit to fasting.
 
Thank you–I have to admit I hadn’t noticed and couldn’t figure it out at first!

And what @SlavaIsusuChristu said!
 
I would advise to the person,- just do not admit, do not confess to another person that you envy him 🤣
Even if it’s evident, you need to do your best to play the right role like in a theater, that you are not jealous.
Pray and continue patiently to fight your feelings of jealousy and eradicate them.
It happens that jealousy is not curable, it leads to wild hatred, and even to fratricide (history knows even such cases)
This world is big, if someone is better than you and you have the opportunity to leave and not fight for a chair or a better place, then use it, just go another road.
If someone is better than you, then this is for a long time 😂
Thank God for giving talents to this person.
 
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In my younger days I would envy the guys with the expensive cars. Of course it expressed itself in thoughts that demean the brother in the lane next to me.

To combat that I remind myself I don’t know that guy. Then I would think 'for all I know in a life and death situation that guy may be willing to risk his life or sacrifice it to save mine. That would make me feel bad for thinking evil of him.
 
I sometimes envy married men. I want a wife, but God hasn’t given me one. However, I try to remind myself that God has blessed me in other areas. He has given me more free time than the average married man. A married guy has to please his wife, so he doesn’t get as much free time as I do. A married guy probably can’t study the scriptures like I can, nor does he have the ability to pray and fast like I can.

Singleness is hard. Most girls today expect you to have sex with them before marriage. Because of how widespread fornication is, it makes it difficult for someone like me to find a relationship that is committed, first of all; second, chaste. It’s OK, though. The Bible says “…no good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly” (Psalm 84:11).

I know that God’s got my back. I love Him. :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:
 
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Envy feels easy.

Do you want to be made well? Do you want to be healed? (John 5:6)

It’s a lot easier on you when you aren’t harboring feelings like envy/jealousy.

The stress, when you decide you no longer want it, when it is gone, leaves a feeling of peace, where free will actually feels more abundant.

But there’s a difference between thinking you want to be well and wanting to be well from the deepest parts of your being. Your body and soul have to agree on this, or you will just wind up fighting yourself.

In fairness, it feels easier to hold onto our burdens. Burdens are a blanket and become enmeshed in our identities. Who are you when you give that up? Definitely someone different! You have to be ready for that, and willing to accept that change.
 
I am more quick-tempered than envious, but on occasion I can also be envious 🙂

It seems to me that I have improved a little since I try to understand why, with a certain person, I am envious, and I make this present to Jesus.

For example there was a man who made me nervous just thinking about it - people, I’m Italian, what do you want from me? 😉 - and then I understood the reason for my envy: he had a profession that I would have liked, and for which I was obviously better suited 🙂

So I said it to Jesus, more or less like this: "Lord, the reason is this, I know I have to fight, and pray, but at least I told you so, not because You didn’t know it, but because you want me to let’s say things in detail, as you said to Saint Faustina Kowalska, in her Diary ».

Every now and then I have to redo the process, but things don’t go too bad
 
Envy as I see it is a feeling of lack as well as a vice. It is a gnawing sense of inner poverty, of not having something.

But, if we are in Christ, we have everything.

We may not have some finite good, but that pales in comparison to the infinite good we do have (God).

A lot of this can then be combated by simple perspective. We have unlimited treasures within ourselves, we simply need to turn to them and realize our true wealth. No one can take that away from us, rust cannot touch it, moth cannot eat it.

A nice house, car, a spouse’s physical appearance, etc… All these things are nice, but why cast your self-worth on them? You may have it you may not. They are not indicative of true wealth, which can only be inner, spiritual, eternal…
 
I struggle with this as well. It also seems to fuel my bitterness and resentment at times.
 
Rather than focusing on fighting the vice, focus on fostering the opposing virtue. For envy/jealousy, I believe the opposing virtue is thankfulness. Write down anything and everything good in your life, then right down every bad thing that hasn’t happened to you. Meditate on that list and how much God has blessed you.

A complementary virtue to thankfulness is generosity. Find ways to be generous, not necessarily with money, but with your time and service. The more time you focus on others, the less time you focus on yourself. The fulfillment that comes from serving others will fortify the thankfulness you have for God’s blessings.
 
I recall among others Galatians 5:13-26, Proverbs 14:30, Matthew 6:19-21,The 10th Commandment, the deadly sin, The Imitation of Christ book 1 chapter 1:4, book 3 chapter 54:9.
 
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Enjoy the benefits of being single while you can… single life seems hard at the time, but marriage can be very hard as well! One of the biggest traps some people fall into is “if only I had a girl / guy, life would be perfect”. Marriage is sacrifice. Marriage is hard work day in and day out. For some people, marriage becomes a true trial. Of course it’s a blessing and a sacrament and brings much joy… I’m just saying - the grass isn’t always greener! 🙂
 
I have found that the best way for me to combat jealousy is to confess it to somebody.

Like for instance, somebody at work got a really big personal win. Something I wanted. I tried to stuff the jealous down. Didn’t work. So, I told somebody I knew (not a work person) the whole story and how I felt jealous, and withon about an hour all my jealous feeling just sorta dissipated.
 
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